Tears of Joy and Remorse
by Auphora66
Summary: Leah: Sadly, imprinting magic has side effects, such as loss of judgment, lustful thoughts, watery eyes -dripping may occur-, chest pains, dizziness, and headaches. For more information,contact Taha Aki -the spirit that no one will believe you’ve ever met
1. Not Ready

**Okay! Second fan fiction! I'm still in my obsessed-about-imprinting phase. So I guess this is why this story is about Leah and her imprint. I saw that there are a few imprint stories between Leah and Jacob, not that there is anything wrong with that, but I just disagree. This isn't the original work; I have rewritten the story to make it better. I hope you like it. **

**Disclaimer: I do ****not**** own any of the characters from the Twilight series.**

**Summary: Leah imprints and not-so-ordinary drama occurs. PLEASE READ PAST CHAPTER 1, it's where the plot really begins to twist. "****Sadly, imprinting magic has side effects, such as loss of judgment, lustful thoughts, watery eyes -dripping may occur-, chest pains, dizziness, and headaches. Imprinting is not for you if you suffer from painful breakups, loss of social life, or any other related conditions. Talk to your vampire doctor about imprinting, he or she may be able to treat overdoses by sicking their coven on you. For more information, contact Taha Aki -the spirit that no one will believe you've ever met." -Leah, chapter 10

* * *

**

**-Leah-**

"_We have something to tell you." Sam said, his tone wary. I looked from his face, to Emily's, to his again, and then I rested on Emily's because I could handle seeing her half of her face better than I could seeing his. The pack leaned forward in anticipation. I kept my face composed, dreading what he would say. _

_Emily hesitated, but Sam put a reassuring arm around her waist. "I'm pregnant," she said finally._

It was late in the afternoon, and I hadn't taken the news as well as I should have. I had really tried, keeping my expression blank, but jealous thoughts kept seeping into the front of my brain and I was too tired (thanks to late nights of patrolling) to fight them. I'm an awful person. An awful cousin. An awful friend. An awful sister. Why the hell did I have to say those things? Aloud and straight to his face? In front of Emily no less? I should have just walked out but no, I had to ruin everything.

I didn't stop running until my legs would no longer hold me up, and my lungs could no longer supply me with enough oxygen. I dropped down onto wet grass, not caring that I would get grass stains or mud on my jeans; my pulse was pounding in my ears. It felt like my blood was boiling; scorching everything inside me. It took a few minutes for me to catch my breath, for my heart to quiet down, and for my blood to cool. If I was in wolf form, I wouldn't be gasping for breath, or have a throbbing head ache. But then again, if I was in wolf-form, I would most likely have voices in my head telling me how dumb I've been acting.

Why couldn't I get over Sam? I hated myself for being selfish but I couldn't help it. Self disgust mixed in with loneliness, anger, sorrow, and guilt. Reminding Sam of the pain he caused (and causes) me, causes him pain -which is the one thing that we share that no once else does. Not even Emily. Making Sam feel guilty for hurting me is like morphine; it kills the pain for a while and is addictive. I can't stop and I can't bear to try.

My life's just a stupid circle. Feel like crap because I was dumped for my cousin, take it out on the pack and remind Sam of what he did, feel bad about being mean but then remembering why I felt bad in the first place, and then the cycle repeats. I needed to forget. I need to move on and get away from this cycle, but how can I? Especially since I know that his love for me is simply hidden -overpowered- by his love for Emily. Sam still loves me…a tear rolled down my face. No matter how strong his feelings are for me, they won't be enough -imprinting was too strong of a magic. Emily and Sam are expecting a baby for crying out loud!

The trees around me swayed as a gust of wind ripped through the forest. Strands of my black hair blew onto my face, I brushed them off, as well the stray tear drop. I closed my eyes and listened to the sounds of the forest. Birds were chirping in the canopy above, a rabbit was munching on a bush about thirty yards away to the east and there were…footsteps? It was definitely footsteps, about fifty yards away and coming closer from the north. The pace didn't seem casual; it seemed rushed, panicked in a way. It was probably just some lost hiker. I got to my feet and brushed myself off. I couldn't just leave a person wandering alone out in the middle of a forest. Besides, it would be bad if the hiker saw the pack. I walked towards the sound of footsteps.

Then I saw him. I was shocked to see that he was taller than me; most boys were not taller than six feet. I was suddenly worried that I had stumbled upon another werewolf, but then my muscles eased when I noticed that the boy had dark blonde hair and had lighter skin. His hair was untidy and got into his hazel eyes -a combination of the forest, the sea, the sandy beach, and the cloudy sky. He was wearing jeans and a hoody; it was a casual outfit, but he could have worn anything and still looked good. He took my breath away -in the literal sense too. He was like a lighthouse in a storm; he had his own glow that brought me to him. I felt incredibly drawn to him, and yet the word "drawn" wasn't powerful enough -not even close. He was suddenly everything, and I desperately wanted to help him. However, I could only stare at him and he stared at me too; it made me feel embarrassed but his staring also filled me up with pride. I was wearing jeans -only because my shorts were still in the wash, I really need to put them in the dryer- and a tank top; both fit my figure well, I was in good shape so I knew I looked good. My confidence boosted knowing this, so I gave him a friendly smile, "My name's Leah."

"Alex," he said, returning my smile. His teeth were white, straight and utterly perfect.

I shivered; his voice alone made my body react; I wanted to hear more, badly. "Are you lost?"

"No, I just can't find the road."

I pointed, "It's that way."

"How many miles?"

"About five and a half."

He thought about that for a moment and then asked, "What town?"

"La Push."

"Hmm," he said, thinking the new information over. "Do you know your way around?"

I nodded.

"Really well?"

I nodded.

"Could you lead me to the closest road, please?"

I beamed, "Of course."

He smiled and gestured for me to lead the way. I walked in the right direction and glanced behind me to make sure that he was following me. He was, so closely in fact that I nearly stuck my face into his chest.

"Oh -sorry, Alex," I apologized quickly, turning my head back around to face forward.

"Don't worry about it." Alex said, falling into step with me. "So, um, what are you doing in the middle of the forest -if you don't mind me asking?"

"Shouldn't I be asking you that?" I asked, smiling.

"I asked you first."

"Ohhh, okay. I see how you are." I laughed, and it puzzled me how naturally it came out. He smiled, sending butterflies into my stomach. Then my stomach disappeared completely, leaving a hollow space there at the realization that he was my imprint. I had imprinted without my own consent. I wasn't ready; I couldn't handle this. "I'm in the middle of the forest because I needed to get away," I said, my tone almost cold.

He just stared at me for a moment and then, dismissing my cold tone, said, "Same here."

"So getting lost in the forest is your 'getting away'?" I asked, trying to sound as if I thought it was the stupidest thing ever. I had to push him away, something that will inevitably break me, but I was already broken in the first place. I had already been forced to give up a previous life, why should I have to give up what I had managed to build?

The corner of Alex's mouth turned upward, "Getting lost makes it harder to go back to what you ran from."

I couldn't tell if he was being serious or sarcastic; his face gave nothing away. "Was it that bad?" I asked softly, wanting to wrap my arms around him and whisper sweet nothings in his ear. I hated the feeling; he had too much control over me.

"No, I just needed to think and it was hard to do that where I was," he explained. A weird expression appeared on his face; I couldn't make out the emotion in his eyes.

"What is it?" I asked, stopping out of concern. It was wrong, feeling so much concern over a stranger.

Alex stopped too, and then looked down at the ground, almost as if he was ashamed and said, "Um, I know it's kind of rude, and I really don't intend it to be that way, but do you have any food?"

I couldn't help but laugh. Before I could reply, my stomach growled, sounding more like Paul in a bad mood than an empty stomach. Alex laughed. He had a really nice laugh; I unconsciously tried to store it in my memory, the way it rang through the air. It wasn't as low as Sam's…I liked it, and that disgusted me.

Imprinting truly did ruin all that you once loved; nothing else mattered. It hurt; I didn't want to understand Sam. I didn't want to relate to him. What hurt even more was the fact that Sam didn't rule my world anymore. I couldn't trust Alex; I hardly knew him, and yet I would die for him. According to legends and all that junk, he was my soul mate; but he should have so much more, someone so much better. I was a bitter harpy, after all. I would only hurt him, and he would hurt me back in retaliation. The pain would be worse than hell, but if it made him happier in the end -the suffering would at least be for a cause.

"I take that means you don't have anything, huh?" Alex said, his beautiful hazel eyes peering into my soul.

"I didn't even have breakfast." I said dryly.

"Ouch. I only had a bowl of cereal," he said. We continued walking. We were close enough that sometimes our shoulders brushed against each others, each time it happened I couldn't help but revel in the feeling it brought. It had been so long since I felt happy, I deserved to soak it in a bit. I then realized that when we parted, I would be sorry. I reluctantly created more distance between us. It was too late, I had already memorized his masculine scent and the way he accidentally brushed against me; I felt a sliver of me disappear, returning to an incomplete state.

"Want to go grab something to eat when we get out of here?" I asked, desperate for a little more time with him. I was _really_ going to be sorry.

"Um, hang on," he stopped. I stopped too and watched as he pulled out his wallet from his pants and began to count how much he had. "Er, I got a five, six ones, a ten and…seventy-eight cents. That's nearly twenty-two dollars."

I began to fish through my pockets as well, "I've got…a ten, a quarter, a dime, four pennies, and lint. That's 10 dollars, thirty-nine cents, and a reminder to clear the lint tray when I get home (Alex chuckled at this remark). So together that's…" I trailed off doing a quick calculation in my head, "Thirty-two dollars and seventeen cents."

Alex laughed quietly, "So, do you go to college, Leah?"

"No, I don't. I've got…responsibilities." I said, instantly sad that being a werewolf had sacrificed my further education. The image of Sam ripped through my mind, and I remembered that I didn't even try in the last semester of senior year because of him; he had been missing for two weeks and I had lost the will to complete my homework. I had ruined my grade point average, so I doubted any colleges would take me anyways. Memories back then were full of worry, and they were now unclear from being repressed. I sighed, college sounded nice now. "Do you go to college?"

"Yeah, I go to Peninsula College in Port Angeles."

"Mmm. Do you like it?"

"Yeah."

"How are the classes?"

"The same as high school, except more difficult concepts and a couple more essays."

"What year are you in?"

"I didn't enter right after high school, so I'm in my sophomore year. I'm a part-time student and I live in an apartment near the campus."

"Do you have a certain career you wanted to go into?"

Alex shrugged, "I like myths and legends and stuff like that." He then added, "Maybe I'll go own a museum"

We laughed. He laughed because he absolutely had no intention of owning a museum. I laughed because it ironic that he liked legends. I bet he already knew the Quileutte legends.

It took more than an hour to reach the closet road. It took only fifteen minutes to reach a family restaurant, which was a relief because I was _starving_. The smell of food made my mouth water and my stomach feeling emptier than ever. However, I instantly felt self-conscious; especially when the greeter looked at me funny. I then remembered that I was wet and had mud on me. I blushed; I had been walking with Alex for an hour and a half with mud on me?

"I'm gonna go get cleaned up." I told Alex.

He nodded, "I'll go get us a seat."

I turned and headed for the ladies room. I stopped and stared at my reflection; my short black hair was messy, my clothes were dirty, my expression was unfamiliar. I was smiling; it seemed out of place, but I couldn't take it off. Maybe I should ditch Alex. I was becoming a stranger; I couldn't recognize the girl named Leah in the mirror, and it was because of him. My smile dropped at the thought, making me look fragile and scared. Even if I tried, I wouldn't be able to just _ditch _him. I knew that, even thought there were walls between us, I could still feel the imprinting-gravitational pull that he had on me. I took some paper towels and dampened them and wiped away the dirt that I had collected. I fixed my hair the best I could, instantly wishing that I had some sort of brush. I stepped back to evaluate the minor changes. I looked better, not good enough to see Alex, but I couldn't do anything more so I walked out of the restroom.

I saw Alex sitting at a booth, stirring soda that had been poured into a plastic. His hazel eyes were out of focus, and his face was relaxed from being spaced out. An involuntary smiled made its way onto my face and I sat down across from him. I found a glass of Coca-Cola in front of me, I took a sip. The cold liquid felt good going down my dry throat.

"I'm glad you like Coke." Alex said, returning to Earth, watching me drink. "The waiter came and I wasn't sure what to get you."

"Coke's fine." I replied, and then took another sip. I was thirsty, from all of the running that I had done, but it also something in my stomach. In a few seconds, the glass was empty.

"Thirsty?" he chuckled.

I looked down into my lap in embarrassment. Oh god, I probably looked like a pig or something, inhaling my soda like that. I could feel my cheeks heat up and I turned my attention to the view of outside through the window. "A little bit." I replied.

Alex laughed and I saw him push his soda towards me out of the corner of my eye.

"Aw, Alex, you don't have to give me your drink."

"I wanted to."

I stared at the glass; condensation was dripping down the side, proof that the soda it held was cold. The sight was irresistible. "Thanks." I said, looking up at him -he nodded-, and then taking a sip through the straw that was already in there. Alex was leaning back against the seat, looking content and happy. It was a childish thought, but my mind couldn't help but turn to the straw. He had been drinking from this tube of plastic. His lips had been on this thing -where mine now are. An indirect kiss…and image of Sam and I sharing a drink popped into my head. I forced away the image quickly, afraid of the damage it would do to me if it stayed any longer. Another image appeared. It was of Seth and I sharing the last Popsicle when we were younger. Eww, I did _not _want to think about having an indirect kiss with my little brother. Man, I needed to stop thinking about these sorts of things. I stopped drinking "my" Coca-Cola, and opened up the menu.

"So, um, what are you getting?" I asked, still scanning through the options.

"I don't really know yet. You?"

"I don't know either." I shrugged.

"The fudge sundae looks good," he commented, his eyes on the desert section.

I chuckled, "I thought we were having lunch."

Alex grinned, "I thought we were simply eating."

I turned to the desert section. "The sundae does look good." I observed, looking at the picture. It seemed a little plain. "Maybe with some caramel and crushed walnuts on top." I added, a smile appearing on my face. The smile wasn't such a good idea; my mouth had been watering over the smell of food even before I saw the sinfully delicious looking sundae, the result was drool dripping out of my mouth and onto my lap.

Alex saw this and laughed. "Leah, maybe you shouldn't look at the menu. We don't want to be kicked out for drowning the other customers," he teased.

I quickly wiped my mouth with the back of my hand, which I ended up wiping dry onto my jeans. "Yeah. Yeah. Yeah." I said, fighting the urge to run out of the restaurant from sheer embarrassment. Alex still had a smile on his face. I frowned, "What is it?"

"Nothing," he responded.

"Seriously, Alex, tell me."

"It's nothing."

"Tell me."

"There's nothing to tell."

"You're kinda stubborn." I pointed out in a light tone.

"You are too," he replied in a tone that was identical to mine.

"Thanks."

"Anytime."

"No, seriously, tell me what's up." I said, taking another sip of my drink.

"I was just thinking that it would be cool to hang out with you again. Mind if I had your number?"

I nearly choked. I swallowed the last of the coke that was in my mouth and replied, "I don't have a pen."

"You didn't answer my question," he pointed out.

I rolled my eyes, "No, I wouldn't mind if you were in possession of my number."

Alex began to search his pockets and found a pen, and then handed it to me. I took it, and automatically glanced for a sheet of paper, a napkin would do…a napkin would certainly not do. Alex had his hand extended to me expectantly; I tried not to hyperventilate as I took his hand, a shiver going through my body and I touched his bare skin, and wrote on it. He took the pen from me when I was done and wrote on mine. His hand was rough but soft in a way. My heart was beating a hundred miles per hour from the contact. This was going to be a long afternoon.

* * *

**Please continue onward!! he next chapter holds unique plot twists!!**


	2. Return of the Spirit Warriors

**Okay, chapter two! Like I said, the important stuff is going to happen, just in a different order. I hope you enjoy it. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from the Twilight series. **

**-Leah-**

Damn it all! I ran up the stairs to my room and slammed the door behind me. The door ripped past the door frame; spinning out the opposite way it was supposed to, breaking off of its hinges, and landing on the wooden floor with a thud. I stared at it, tears filling up my eyes. I can't even slam a freakin' door right. I looked at the number on the back of my hand for the hundredth time, I already had it memorized. I should never have given Alex my number or gotten his number. I was supposed to have pushed him away, but the damage had been done. My world had shifted from trying to survive each day watching Sam be with Emily, to surviving every second without Alex.

I ignored the fallen door and began to search for my cell phone (Alex had its number). I picked up the dirty clothes off of my carpet (a clean room has meant nothing to me for years), only to find that my cell phone was not on the floor. I then dumped the laundry basket that I had put the clothes in and searched through pockets. No cell phone. I looked under my bed, pulled out some clothes that had managed to get under there; no cell phone. I tried to push away my desperation and irritation, but didn't have much luck. I ran out of my room -jumping over the door-, down the stairs, through the living room and into the laundry room. I went through all of my clothes' pockets, and found nothing, except some cash. Fear went through me when I thought of a possible scenario; maybe I had washed it, ruining it. I opened the washer and saw that Seth had put in a load of his own clothing. I went to the dryer and searched through my dry clothes; to my relief and my frustration, I didn't find my cell phone.

All of a sudden my pocket began to vibrate, causing me to jump a foot into the air. I pulled out my cell phone, scowling at my stupidity, and answered, "Hello?"

"Hey," said Emily, sounding uncertain.

I was instantly filled with disappointment; it wasn't Alex. "Oh, hey Emily," I said, somehow managing to keep the disappointment out of my voice. "What's up?"

There was a pause, and then Emily observed, "You don't sound upset at me."

"Upset at you?" I repeated, not understanding. Why would I be upset at her? Then I remembered my previous behavior and the news that she was pregnant. "Oh, that. Um, don't worry about it Emily. I was being stupid. Forget everything I said, alright?"

"Who are you and what have you done with Leah?" she teased, but sounded relieved.

I frowned; I had done a one-eighty in less than three hours. All jealousy or any feelings towards Sam had turned to dust. I no longer knew where Sam and Emily stood with me. I was lost; I didn't know what was what anymore. "So, why are you calling?" I asked, wanting to change the subject. I didn't want to tell her that I had imprinted. I didn't want anybody to know that I had imprinted.

"I'm grilling ribs tonight, and I know you like ribs." Emily said, I could hear the smile in her voice.

"Thanks, but…" What if Alex calls? I can't talk to him in front of the pack! "I don't think the pack wants to see me anytime soon" I finished.

"You're going to have to face them sometime, Leah."

"Yeah, I know." I said softly, feeling guilty. Emily forgave me much too easily, she had every right not to speak to me again. "I gotta go and finish some laundry, so I'll talk to you later Emily."

Emily laughed, "Okay, but I expect you to be here tonight."

"What time?" I sighed, giving in.

"Earlier than seven." Emily replied, sounding smug.

"'Kay. Bye."

"Bye."

I closed the phone and shoved it back into my pocket. I took my clean clothes up to my room, folded them and put them away. I checked my phone every five minutes, seeing if I had somehow missed Alex calling, and each time I felt disappointment. I almost called him, anxious to hear his voice again, but I didn't. My mind began to fill up with excuses. What if he's hurt? He could be in trouble. Maybe he is waiting for you to call him. I pushed the excuses away and began to clean my room as a distraction.

My mom would be proud; I had dusted, vacuumed, etc. I looked at my clean room with pride, seeing how much nicer it all looked. I looked at the clock. I still had time before I had to go over to Emily's. I took a shower, put on some clean clothes (shoving my cell phone into my pocket), and brushed my short hair so that it looked decent. I looked at the clock again; I still had time. I set the alarm to go off at six twenty and snuggled into my bed. I breathed in the scent of fresh bedspread, feeling content. Well, as content as I could be while feeling incomplete. I closed my eyes.

I began to feel uncomfortable, detached. I opened my eyes and gasped when I saw that I was hovering above myself. The other me was sleeping in bed, breathing evenly. I looked at my hands and saw a faint white glow, outlining my figure. What the hell was going on?! Why was I here and there? Was I dead? Oh god, I hope I hadn't died. Maybe this was a dream?

"_Leah,"_ said a low voice that I had never heard before. The voice was so close, in my ear almost but closer. I realized that the man's voice was in my head, but wasn't that impossible? I wasn't in wolf form; I shouldn't be able to hear anyone. _"Please do not be afraid."_

My first thought was that I had gone crazy, but then the whole being a werewolf thing threw logic out of proportion. _"Who are you?"_ I asked. The image of a gigantic wolf stood before me, his muzzle was white from what looked like age. I don't know how I knew, but I just knew. _"Taha Aki?"_

The wolf began to shiver. I watched in awe as the large wolf morphed into a large man. Taha Aki stood seven feet tall -an entire foot above me. He looked a lot younger than I had expected; he had no sign of wrinkles or age spots or anything that could identify him as old, except for this wise green eyes. His bronze skin looked milky smooth with the faint white glow outlining him.

"_I grant you permission to question me in any sort of way."_ Taha Aki told me gently.

"_I don't know where to begin."_ I replied truthfully.

Taha Aki chuckled. _"Where you are now, do you know what it is named?"_

I looked down and saw my body once again. I tried to think back to the Quileute legends…, _"I'm in the spirit world."_

"_Like the generations before you and I." _Taha Aki confirmed.

"_How did I…um…you know?"_

"_Separate your spirit from your body," _he said, echoing my thoughts.

I nodded.

"_In your veins, is magic. You chose to do this."_

"_No I didn't. I didn't choose any of this. I never wanted to become a werewolf." _I told him, looking straight into his wise eyes.

"_Young Leah, I was referring to your presence here. You have come here for guidance. Tell me what makes your heart cry."_

I felt suddenly relieved; he cared. He actually cared about me; I couldn't remember the last time I felt important. I opened my mouth to speak, but once again I didn't know where to begin. There was so much. I decided to settle on what started all of my life's drama. I told Taha Aki about Sam, and then I told him about Emily, and then I explained Sam and Emily. I then told him about Alex, how I wasn't ready to be close to another person.

"_A powerful thing, imprinting is."_

A question was on the tip of my tongue, but I was scared that it was rude.

"_My third wife was indeed my imprint." _Taha Aki answered my question.

"_Ah, how did you-?"_

"_Do you not recall the legends?"_

I thought back, _"Oh, yeah…we can read thoughts here. But how come I can't read yours?"_

"_You have not been listening hard enough," _he said simply.

I strained my ears, I heard low whispering. I tuned in and gasped. _"Do I really look like her? Your third wife?"_

"_The very water's reflection."_

"_I'm sorry that it causes you pain to see me." _I apologized, truly feeling bad that I was causing him pain. I knew what it was like to see Sam everyday, knowing that he would never be mine again. I could only imagine how hard it would be to loose your imprint and then see them again, but as a different person. He's had to live without a body and his soul mate, his other half, for so long. I don't think I could go on if anything happened to Alex.

"_Apologies are not meaningful when they are unnecessary. You cannot change your own blood, young Leah."_

"_What was her name?"_

"_Her name was Yuhi Ami." _(pronounced yoo-hee ah-mee)

"_We've always wondered what her name was."_ I explained softly. I regretted it quickly because I had used the word 'we'. 'We' as in 'pack'. Pack as in men who hated my guts for yelling at Sam for something that he had had no control over. Something that I now understood.

"_They will forgive you."_ Taha Aki assured me gently. I would have doubted him, but he sounded so sure of himself. All of a sudden, he looked alarmed. His eyes wandered around my room. _"You must go, Young Leah. Do not return here unless I summon you."_

I couldn't help but feel hurt at his abrupt valediction. I didn't see any reason why I had to leave so soon. Taha Aki suddenly dematerialized through my wall, disappearing out of sight. I stayed put, unsure of what to do next. I didn't know how to return to my body. Taha Aki conveniently left me without giving me that crucial piece of information. Then a large man appeared; I couldn't help but feel relieved that Taha Aki had come back.

It wasn't Taha Aki.

The man was only an inch or two shorter. He had long black hair in a ponytail, and he had brown eyes that were so dark that they looked black. He was stunning, but there was something off about him. My instincts told me that he had darkness in his heart.

"_Who are you?"_ I asked, afraid but determined not to show it.

He let out a low chuckle -it sounded like distant thunder. _"You have heard of me_."

"_Remind me."_ I said letting a bit of attitude leak into my tone.

"_My name is Utlapa,"_ he said with a smile on his lips. I gasped and took an involuntary step back. This was the man who took over Taha Aki's body and used it to have power over the tribe. I remembered the legends and knew that he was skilled in battle. Was he going to kill me? _"No, I am not going to kill you,"_ he answered my thoughts, his tone almost mocking. He then stepped towards me closing the space between us in one stride and kissed me on the forehead as if I was a child. He then gave me a grin and then left my range of sight, leaving me utterly confused.

Taha Aki then appeared, "Did he hurt you?"

I shook my head.

Taha Aki looked relieved and then looked horrified.

"What is it?" I asked.

He pointed downwards, I looked in the direction. I was throwing off the sheets and getting out of bed. Fear overwhelmed my entire being. Utlapa had stolen my body.

**I hope you liked it! : )**


	3. Kudos to Charlie

**Disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer.**

_Utlapa had stolen my body._

* * *

**-Leah-**

"_We must follow him."_ Taha Aki said, his expression determined. I nodded, knowing that there was nothing else I could do. We floated behind Utlapa, watching my body walk casually down the stairs humming a tune.

My mom looked up from her magazine in surprise, unused to the happy sound, "Had a good day?" When did Mom come home? I then felt relieved, surely she would know that there was something off about "me" and get suspicious.

Utlapa stopped, unsure of what to say. He then gave my mom a modest smile, "Yeah, it was pretty good."

"What happened?"

"I, uh, I'll tell you about it later." Utlapa hedged. "Emily is making ribs tonight and I want to get there before the guys all show up, so I'll see you later."

My mom nodded knowingly and went back to her magazine. I felt kind of hurt that she didn't notice the different tone in my voice, or that my posture was suddenly wary; was Utlapa going to live my life without people being suspicious? Utlapa hurried out the door, with Taha Aki and I following.

"_He doesn't know where Emily's house is, does he?"_

"_I'm afraid that he knows where everyone of the pack lives, as do I."_

It didn't take long for us to reach the small house. Utlapa entered the house, my head held high and my strides somewhat more powerful. Emily walked into the kitchen to get plates and smiled when she saw me. "Spicy or honey barbeque sauce?" she asked holding up the two bottles.

Utlapa eyed both carefully, and then replied "Both."

Emily nodded in agreement. "Would you mind setting the table for me, Leah?"

Utlapa looked unsure for a moment and then said, "Not at all." He grabbed the plates and the silverware and began to set the table.

"_How does he know how to set the table?"_ I asked.

"_We have been watching over the generations."_

"You seem happy today." Emily observed.

"I'm just glad that you invited me." Utlapa replied, analyzing a steak knife.

Emily smiled, "You're always welcome over, Leah."

"It's probably best if I'm not."

"Leah, I forgive you, so please stop worrying about that," half of Emily's face frowned.

"I'm not worrying about it." Utlapa murmured. "I was just thinking about how I should really hate you. I should honestly, down to the deepest crevasses of my core, hate you."

"Leah, I-."

I watched in horror as the steak knife in my hand pressed against Emily's throat, but not with enough force to cut the skin. "There's nothing you can say, Emily. There's nothing to be said." Utlapa whispered in her ear, my tone mocking and disgusted. Emily's eyes were wide with fear, her face pale.

Suddenly, Utlapa stepped out of my body. "Take it away, Leah."

I didn't hesitate to get back into my own body. I pulled the knife back from Emily's neck quickly but before I could turn to set it down on the table, I was blindsided. The knife dropped from my hand and I crashed into the wooden floor; my breath getting knocked out of me. Sam fist came in contact with the side of my face; I heard a loud pop, signaling that my jaw had been broken. I was in shock; Sam had never hit me before, no matter what I said. After a few more blows, Emily begged him to stop -so he did.

Sam got off of me and stood in front of Emily protectively, his lips curled back in a snarl. I stumbled to my feet, black dots dancing in my vision. I could taste blood in my mouth and I had a major headache. I placed my hand on my jaw. I saw that the pack was in the door way; their expressions angry and their bodies shaking. They had seen the steak knife at Emily's throat just as Sam had. "You are no longer a part of this pack!" Sam spat. "You are, from this point on, banished from the reservation. If we catch you on this land, we will treat you like you're a bloodsucker. Now get out!"

I wanted to explain that _I _would never threaten Emily like that, but a distinct growl from the door way made me cower back. _Seth_ was the one growling at me. My own little brother. I turned and ran out of the back door, never to return again.

* * *

I could tell that I was in shock. My feelings were numb; the pain of abandonment, betrayal, and loneliness hadn't settled yet. The scene played over and over in my head; it made sense, yet the reasoning behind it didn't. Of course Sam would act that way, "I" had attacked _Emily_, but why did Utlapa return me my body? To avoid the pain of Sam's blows? No, that couldn't be it either. Utlapa knew how to fight; he could have easily outmaneuvered Sam with his experience, even if he was in my body. So why? Was Utlapa just looking for fun?

I guess it doesn't really matter. Whatever the reason was, it got a result; I was banished. Exiled. I was now an outcast, a lone wolf. I suppose that the pack will be much happier without me. They were all sick of my complaints and me being a bitter harpy. A wave of determination washed over me; it was a defense system, so I didn't break down.

I don't need them. I can survive on my own. I never wanted to be a part of that stupid wolf pack to begin with. I just won't morph. I'll age like a normal person and get on with my life. Maybe I can get my old job back…oh wait, I can't. My old job was on the reservation. Okay then, I'll get a new job in Forks, where Alex is. Hope filled up inside of me at seeing his perfect face again and then disappeared, leaving a hollow space at a realization: the bloodsuckers were in Forks. Am I still under the treaty? I would have to figure it out quickly because the boundary line was only a dozen yards away now. I looked behind me. The wind blew through the branches, making them sway in a solemn goodbye. The shade beneath the thick green canopy appeared darker than usual, almost menacing. _"You are no longer a part of this pack! You are, from this point on, banished from the reservation. If we catch you on this land, we will treat you like you're a bloodsucker. Now get out!" _Sam's words echoed in my head.

I had no choice.

I winced as my jaw and the area in front of my ear throbbed painfully. I had forgotten about my dislocated jaw, which my hand held in place. I bent over and let blood drip out of my mouth, stupid Sam. It was getting more and more difficult to breathe. As much as I hate to be in the debt of leeches, I can't have my jaw healing wrong. To the Cullens it is then. I took a deep breath and stepped over the invisible line. I stopped and waited a few seconds, and felt slightly relieved in finding that I was still intact and there were no vampires charging at me. I picked up my pace, trying to remember the way that Jake, Quil, and Embry took when they attended Bella Swan's graduation party all of those years ago.

-Time skip-

I couldn't remember. It was hopeless; the Cullens had their sickeningly sweet scent all over town. I sat down in front of some random outdoor supplies store, feeling stupid. I don't know what I was thinking earlier; going to _leeches _for help. They would probably kill me on sight. The only reason the doctor helped Jacob was because of Bella Swan. He had no reason to help me. I wouldn't help one of them if they got in trouble, so I guess it was only fitting. We were enemies, after all. I heard a gasp to my left and turned to see who it was. It was Mike Newton, the boy from Jake's distant memories. His eyes were wide in shock and fright as he took in my injury.

"I'll go call nine-one-one!" he told me hastily, running past me into the store. I got up and ran for it, ignoring my jaw/headache. With my temperature and quick healing, the hospital wasn't an option. When I was at a safe distance I stopped running. My heart was pounding and it felt like I couldn't get enough air. I think I am going to be sick.

A car beeped its horn at me and I glanced out of the corner of my eye. It was a police car and inside was the chief of the police, Charlie Swan.

"Leah?" he called. I couldn't answer him even if I wanted to. I had never been close to Charlie, even though he came over a lot, but it was nice to hear a familiar voice. A voice that wasn't angry at me. I turned around to face him and his expression went from shock to horror. "What happened to you?!" he gasped with wide eyes. He recovered quickly, being a professional during times of crisis. "Get in the car and I'll take you to the hospital."

I shook my head.

"Leah, you're jaw is broken, you need medical attention."

My abdomen muscles tensed; I turned away and bent over to throw up, my hand still supporting my swollen jaw. Ew, gross. Charlie went to my side and patted my shoulder awkwardly, not being the type to show his emotions. I straightened up after I was done and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand, and then my hand on my jeans. He took my arm gently and led me to the cruiser, I didn't try to escape. I got in the passenger seat, closed the door behind me, and opened the glove box in search of a piece of paper and a writing utensil. A found a notepad and a pen. Charlie got in the driver seat, closing the door behind him and watched as I wrote a message. I handed him the sheet when I was done. He read: _I can't afford to go to the hospital. Could you please take me to the Cullens? I will pay you back by making my dad's fish fry for you._

Charlie handed the notepad back to me. "Fine, but I'm going to call your mother and let her know where you are when you get there," he said, turning the key in the ignition. The cruiser started and began to speed down the road. Was he going to turn on the sirens? A few seconds later my ears were hurting, answering my thought.

I scribbled on the paper quickly and showed him; _My mom isn't home._

"I'll call her cell phone, then."

_I don't think she has it with her. The battery died and it's sitting on the counter._

Charlie read my writing and frowned. "Then I'll call Billy and see if he can get a hold of her somehow."

I nodded, giving up.

"Leah, what happened? It looks like someone attacked you." Charlie said, taking his eyes off of the road for a second to glance at me.

_I was cliff diving by myself and I got too close to a rock_, I lied.

Charlie glanced at my message and then gave the road his attention. "You mean you walked all the way up here?"

Crap. Why did Charlie have to pay close attention to details today? _The car was out of gas. _

"And nobody could take you? You couldn't call anyone? Leah, tell me what really happened."

For a split second, I thought of how funny it would be to have Sam arrested. The surprised look on his face when Charlie showed up on his doorstep, handcuffs at the ready. I pushed the thought out of my head and wrote: _I can't Charlie._

"Whoever hurt you isn't going to be able to hurt you again, Leah. I promise," he said, his face full of determination. "Please tell me what happened, I need to know."

_It was my fault. I pissed of the person. I ran off before they could evaluate the damage, otherwise they would have taken me doctor. _My explanation was dumb, even a fourth grader would know that, but it was the best I had. I then added,_ Please don't be a cop right now; I need you to be a family friend._ It all looked really pathetic on paper, but I was desperate and truly felt that way. I couldn't handle a cop interrogation; every time I replayed the scene in my head, I became a little less numb and a little more pain leaked into me. It was best not to think about it at all. Beside, when my breaking point came, I would surely morph -something that wasn't a good idea being in a car, with Charlie no less. I didn't want him hurt.

"Just get better, okay?" he said, his voice genuinely concerned. I assumed he was agreeing to my request and I nodded, grateful. He pulled out his cell. "Dr. Cullen's cell number is on there, call it for me? I'm busy with the road."

I flipped open the phone and searched through his contacts. A stab of pain went through me as I saw Sam's number on there, as well as Jake's and my mother's. My stomach muscles tensed and I closed my eyes, hoping that I wasn't about to get sick in Charlie's car. I opened them when the feeling went away and hit dial when I found the leech's number. I hit dial and handed it over to Charlie.

"_Hello?"_ I heard the vampire answer after a few rings.

"Hey, Dr. Cullen, it's Charlie. I have Sue Clearwater's daughter with me, her jaw is dislocated and I'm on my way to your house because Leah doesn't want to go to the hospital."

"_Okay, I'll be there. How is she holding up? Does it look like she's going into shock?"_

Charlie glanced at me. "She's looking better than when I first saw her. She threw up once. It sounds like she's having trouble breathing, from what I can hear."

I had forgotten my lack of oxygen, the reminder caused my body to remember and I began to cough. There was a metallic taste in my mouth. Ew, nothing like coughing up blood.

"_You need to hurry, Chief Swan. Most likely there is blood going to her lungs_."

Oh great.

"I'm nearly there."

"_See you soon."_

Charlie shut the phone and set if down beside him, putting his hand back on the steering wheel. His face was solemn, his eyes on the road. I felt the car increase in speed. I closed my eyes and tried to relax. Breathing the best I could, without hyperventilating. Charlie suddenly turned the wheel sharply, not wanting to pass the driveway that the forest nearly blocked from view. The back tired skidded to the side and the cruiser swerved slight as we continued forward, and then straightened out. Kudos to Charlie for being a damned good driver. The leeches' house came into view, their scent burning my nose even though I was still in the car. In a few moments, it'll turn into a test of self control with Charlie around. Who will expose their inner monster first?

* * *

**I have a mild case of author's block, so that it why this chapter is ending so soon. I hope you liked it!! Oh, and I didn't pass my Algebra 3 exam. :( But at least I no longer have to study so now I can write more!! Honestly, I'm relieved. Lol. As I had promised, everything played out -nothing too major was cut out. Leah is now in character, so I'm happy. I hope that you are too with the rewritten work. ****Please review!**


	4. In Debt of the Undead

**_You will have to go back and reread, for I have rewritten!_ **

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from the Twilight series -Stephenie Meyer does.**

* * *

**-Leah-**

The cruiser pulled into the driveway and swerved to a halt. We got out of the car; the movement hurt my jaw and made my head spin, causing me to sway on my feet. Charlie grabbed my arm in support. The leader vampire (what was his name again?) quickly exited the house towards us, followed by the Edward (I only remembered his name because I heard Jake cursing it enough) and the mother-ish vampire.

"I got it from here Charlie," the leader vampire, taking a step closer to my side. "Could you inform Sue, please?"

Charlie nodded and let go of my arm. He gave me a sympathetic kind of look and drove away. I stared after him, having second thoughts about this. The leeches could just take me out and say that I wasn't given medical attention quick enough and too much blood filled up my lungs causing me to drown. They had every right to do that too, since I was on their land.

"Leah, we aren't going to hurt you." Edward assured me. Oh, right. He could read my mind, how could I forget?

"Let's go inside," the leader vampire suggested.

I looked at the house and saw that it was white and rectangular; it was also pretty big. It was a nice house, I had to admit, a lot nicer than the ones in La Push with the faded paint.

"That's thanks to Esme." Edward answered my thoughts.

I glared. Keep my thoughts to yourself.

Edward chuckled but said no more, even though Esme was looking at him curiously. I followed the three vampires into the house. I stopped for a second, trying not to gag; the sickeningly sweet scent was overwhelming. There was no fresh air to breathe in, so I was just going to have to deal with it. I was pretty sure that they weren't too happy about me being here either, though the bloodsuckers were hiding it well. I took in a deep breath, making my eyes water, in hope that I would get desensitized quicker. I could smell all of the Cullens…and Bella Swan, but she wasn't human anymore, her scent was now warped into a too-sweet smell. Where's the rest of them anyway?

"Hunting." Edward answered.

And you aren't?

"Carlisle asked me to stay and translate since you can't talk."

Ah. I looked up and noticed that Carlisle and Esme were gone.

"Esme went to make you a bed and Carlisle is getting his medical stuff."

Why would Esme be making me a bed?

"Your jaw is pretty messed up. Carlisle's going to have to re-break it…," his eyes averted mine, staring out of the tall window.

And what does that have to do with the bed?

"Well, he's going to medicate you to sleep." Edward said smoothly.  
My stomach dropped to the floor. Why would he need to do that?

"You're not going to be happy for the next one and a half months." Edward said, being annoyingly cryptic. I stared at him, waiting for him to elaborate. He finally looked back at me and said, "He's going to have to wire your jaw shut, meaning only liquids."

What?! My jaw is not fucking that bad! It's already healing for Christ's sake! Heck, the whole "blood going into my lungs" thing probably stopped five minutes ago!

"Will you let me finish?" Edward asked, interrupting my rant. I scowled at him, but let him continue. "It's because Charlie saw you injured. You're going to have to play the part, just like Jacob did with those crutches."

I felt like I was going to be sick. I had managed to push any thoughts of the pack into the back of my mind, and now Edward had unintentionally set them free along with the feelings that accompanied them. I began to cry as Jake's angry face popped into my head when he witnessed what Utlapa had done. Then it was Seth's, my own little brother looking like he wanted to take a good sized chunk out of me. Faces of the pack members popped into my head, all with the same shocked and angry expression. Lastly Sam's face; his eyes were as black as his fur, and they reflected only hate. He wanted me to die. He honestly wanted to kill me himself. _"You are no longer a part of this pack!"_ Sam had spat. _"You are, from this point on, banished from the reservation. If we catch you on this land, we will treat you like you're a bloodsucker. Now get out!" _I covered my ears and closed my eyes as if doing so would shut off the memory of his hate-filled voice. I then remembered Emily's shocked face; full of hurt, betrayal. Water dripped onto the floor after rolling off of my cheeks. I choked back a sob, ignoring the pain in the side of my head. Even Emily, who had always forgiven my behavior, wouldn't even want me back. Regardless if she knew the truth, she still probably wouldn't want me back; I would only ruin her perfect soon-to-be-full-of-newborn-child life.

I heard Esme speeding down the stairs and halt next to Edward. "Edward, what did you say?" Esme hissed at her son, suspecting that he had said something to upset me. I could just barely make out the words they were so quick and quiet.

I looked up to see their expressions; if they looked ready to pounce on a vulnerable werewolf, then I was going to run like hell. Or maybe I wouldn't. Maybe I'll let them, since there was no one who would really care.

Sympathy was clear on his face. Edward gave me a stern look, at hearing my thoughts.

Don't look at me like that bloodsucker. Let me remind you that you went off to Italy some years back.

Edward frowned, not in an upset way, more like the expression that an adult gives when a child says something immature. My frame quivered slightly; I saw Carlisle and Esme tense out of the corner of my eye. I needed to calm down. I closed my eyes and my thoughts began to search for something that would make my anger fade.

Alex.

No one else may need me, but he might. It's a slim chance, but there's still a chance. What if he gets hurt? I need to be in a good condition to help him, so I'll have to trust Carlisle and his coven.

"Family." Edward corrected.

Uh, pardon?

"We're not a coven, we're a family." Edward explained. Carlisle smiled proudly and Esme beamed.

That's…nice, I suppose. I saw a smear of dirt of my shirt and began to brush it away, feeling incredibly out of place.

"Let's get you fixed up, Leah." Carlisle said.

Do I have to be put to sleep?

The corner of Edward mouth turned up. Carlisle and Esme saw this and eyes me carefully, wondering what I was thinking.

What? What's so funny?

"She wants to know if she has to be put asleep." Edward said.

Carlisle and Esme smiled too. "If you don't want to be put to sleep, that's fine with me." Carlisle said, a tinge of humor in his tone.

What's so funny about not wanting to be put to- oh. I flushed. I didn't intend the pun.

Edward nodded, still smiling.

I glared at him. You can stop smiling now.

Edward chuckled but stopped smiling. "So, are you ready?"

I fidgeted but nodded. Where does he want me?

"Where do you want her?" Edward asked.

"Since she wants to stay awake…I guess on the table in the dining room."

My eyes widened and my muscles tensed. They had a _dining _room?

"We don't eat there." Edward scoffed.

I ignored his tone and relaxed, feeling relieved. Carlisle led me away from the entrance, Edward and Esme stayed behind. The house was beautifully decorated, everything was spotless, and all the woods were polished. Carlisle removed the table cloth and patted an antique looking table. I raised an eyebrow. Could that even hold me?

"It's in good shape." Carlisle assured me, seeing my raised brow in the direction of the table. "Just try not to squirm too much or Esme will throw a fit," he chuckled.

If the pack hadn't allied with the Cullens, I would have never believed that someone like Esme was capable of "throwing a fit". I sat gingerly on the polished wood. I glided a fingertip on the smooth surface. Cherry wood?

"It's made out of cherry." Carlisle unintentionally confirmed, taking a needle out of his bag. I froze. I _hated_ needles. I always have, especially since the time when I was eleven and had to go to the hospital -I can't remember the reason anymore- and the nurses were interns. Those nurses couldn't get a needle in a vein worth their lives; the result was me getting poked a lot and crying.

I snapped my fingers to get his attention.

Carlisle turned around, "Yes, Leah?"

I pointed to the needle and shook my head (which didn't feel pleasant).

"It will hurt without the pain killers."

I shrugged.

"You sure?"

I nodded (which wasn't pleasant either).

Carlisle sighed, and put the needle away. He stepped in front of me, I moved my hand away from my jaw slowly -his hand took my place. He cupped my face. I jolted; his hands were _cold_, they burned my skin. I knitted my fingers together and set my hands on my lap. No need to crush Esme's cherry table or give Carlisle a good punch. With a swift move of his fingers there was a pop, and I nearly screamed but didn't. I simply tensed and winced, ignoring the river of heat flowing down my spine. "Now hold your jaw in place while I get the wire." Carlisle commanded.

I held my jaw. The side of my head _hurt_.

It didn't take long for him to wire my mouth shut, excluding the part where the glue had to dry. Carlisle hummed while doing the procedure and told me how I was pretty much getting braces and extra, and then how eating food as a liquid will be necessary. He also advised me not to morph. I didn't want to morph, nor did I have any intension of doing so, so I was good on that point. He then pulled out a mirror and showed me what my teeth looked like. It was like Carlisle had said earlier; it was like having braces and extra.

I heard a loud booming laugh in the distance from outside, and then it stopped suddenly. I slid off of the antique table and headed for a door that wasn't the front door. I opened it, only to be tackled off of my feet through the door way. The sound of bloodsucker colliding with my body sounded like a crack of thunder. I tried to get out of Emmett's grasp in midair, but he had a firm hold on me. We crashed into the ground rolling. A menacing growl erupted from deep within his chest, his lips curled back. Rosalie stood nearby, ready to attack me as well. My frame began to vibrate, hurting my sore jaw, and I snarled despite the pain.

"Emmett, get off of her!" Carlisle demanded, standing in the doorway. Esme stood beside him, holding his hand, wearing a sad expression. I saw Alice and Jasper at the window in the house, Bella behind them.

Emmett gave Carlisle a confused look, glanced at me, and then got off. He stood beside Rosalie, his stance protective. Edward appeared at my side and grabbed my arm to pull me up, making my skin burn. Don't touch me! Edward ignored me and pulled me up to my feet. I snatched my arm away from his grasp and glared at Emmett. I turned to walk away, but Edward was in my way. Move bloodboy!

"You have no where to go." Edward pointed out. Carlisle's brow furrowed in worry. I growled, my frames shaking more. Shut up! Just shut the fuck up! I'll find a place!

"You have no money."

I can go to a bank.

"Your driver's license is at home. You don't have any identification, so you can't get any money from the bank without that. Without money you can't afford shelter or food."

Then what do you suppose I should do, bloodsucker? Cause from what you _kindly _reviewed for me, I have pretty limited options!

"Charlie expects you to be here, so for now, you can't leave. We can discuss your options later. Now come back inside." Carlisle said smoothly in a kind tone.

I glanced at Emmett and Rosalie, warily. Esme dropped Carlisle's hand and came towards me, but kept a respectable distance. "While you were getting treatment, I bought food from a grocery store. I'm sure you're hungry."

Hungry was an understatement; I was ravenous. I only had that small burger, fries, and a coke for lunch with Alex for the entire day -that had been hours ago.

"She says that she can stay for a little while." Edward translated.

Great. Now I am officially in debt of the undead.

* * *

**I'm sorry if this chapter sucks, I didn't really know what to write but I didn't want to leave you guys hanging. Nevertheless, I hope you enjoyed this chapter, please review if you do and please review if you don't -because that means that I need some constructive criticism. : )**


	5. Just a Dream

**Thank you so much for all of the reviews, I love you guys!! I personally thought that the chapter could have been better (I don't exactly know what changes I could have made, or I would have made them, lol), but you all seemed to like it so I'm happy. For those who haven't read my other Fanfic yet, please do!! It's a Collin imprints story, and its called "The Average Werewolf". **

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from the Twilight series**

* * *

**-Leah-**

Esme's my favorite vampire. She had bought tons of liquid food, and all of it smelled appetizing. I would never be capable of expressing it, but I was really grateful. Even more grateful when she offered to warm some of the stuff up for me. So she stood beside me now, showing me a list of items that she was planning to buy me. It was over the top. And it was because Edward blabbed my story. The son of a…damn, I couldn't say "bitch". He was dead anyway, any mother he had was long gone.

Esme was talking about buying me clothes and stuff for my room and more food. I didn't know what to say. I felt…sad. My own mother never really took me on shopping trips -not that I would have been good company considering that I was a bitch, but nevertheless. What was my mother's reaction when she heard that I attacked Emily? Would she want me back? Would she forgive me? What was she going to say to Charlie? My throat felt tight.

"Esme." I said softly through wired teeth.

Esme looked up from her list. "Yes, Leah?"

My throat felt clogged. "You don't need to get me all this stuff, it's not like I'm your daughter or anything. Besides, you make it sound like I'm staying for a long while; I doubt your family is going to like that."

Esme smiled at me warmly, "The battle may be over, but you are still a comrade." Was she crazy? Naive? Stupid? I was a freakin' werewolf -if it wasn't for the fact that I needed their help, there would have been no way that I would treat them with any kindness. What was wrong with her? Esme must have seen something in my expression because she chuckled, "Leah, Charlie has left us to take care of you, and I plan to do that. So please, make yourself at home."

Her words touched me slightly. I then thought of the time and money being spent -things that I could not return to pay my building debt. "But you're talking about buying me clothes."

"Well, you can't stay in those." Esme gestured to my dirty attire.

"You're talking about making "my" room _personalized_."

"Of course, where else are you going to sleep?"

"Outside." I mumbled.

Esme frowned. "Do you want to sleep out there?"

No, but I was going to anyway. "Yeah," I said calmly. At the look on Esme's face, I added, "It's just that I'm going to loose it if I stay inside any longer, I'm usually outside on patrol at this hour." I immediately regretted my words. Pain ripped at my chest when I mentioned "patrol". They would now be patrolling for me -to make sure I never came back. "Excuse me, Esme." I walked out of the kitchen, up the stairs and into the room that Esme had led me to earlier. I wouldn't be able to handle outside. I shut the door behind me and collapsed on the bed. I tried to keep my crying to a low volume, knowing that vampires had good hearing. Hell, they knew anyway. Edward with his damn mind reading and Jasper with his empathy. I knew why he had left the house: to escape my feelings. They were nearly unbearable to me, it must have been worse for him since he wasn't used to such pain. Alice had left too, probably irked that she couldn't see the future anymore with me around. God, I was just a pain to everyone, wasn't I?

I've fallen pretty low, feeling sympathy towards bloodsuckers…

**(A/N: This next part gets to be a little…much. Just has some gore in it that's all.)**

_I stood in Emily's small kitchen with a knife in my hand, helping my cousin cut up vegetables._

"_Hey, Leah?" Emily asked, half of her face looking worried._

"_Yeah, Em?" I asked, the knife's movement pausing._

"_Do you truly love Sam?"_

"_Why are you asking me this?"_

"_It's important."_

_I sighed. "Sam is yours Emily. Really, he's not going to choose me anytime soon."_

"_I wasn't worried about that. I'm worried about you."_

"_Save your worries for the muffins that are starting to burn."_

"_Oh shoot!" Emily muttered. I watched her put on oven mitts and save the muffins. The muffins didn't look too bad. Emily took off the mitts and turned to me, "You never answered my question, Leah."_

"_What was that again?" I asked, playing dumb._

"_Do you truly love Sam?" Emily repeated, half of her face seemed impatient for the answer._

"_No, I don't." I replied hotly. _

_Emily looked relieved. "Do you love someone else?"_

"_You're getting a little nosy here, Em." I gave her a light shove with my free hand._

"_Ooo, you do! Who?" Emily cooed._

_I looked back to the cutting board and continued to chop. "You wouldn't know him."_

"_Is he your imprint?"_

"_Yeah."_

"_What's his name?" she asked eagerly. _

"_Alex."_

"_Oh good, then we've got the right guy." Emily said, opening the fridge to get out some butter for the muffins. _

"_Emily what are you-." I froze. In the door way were eight large wolves, snarling at me. A tall man stood in front of them, his black eyes full of hate. _

_It was Sam._

_But not just Sam. _

_Sam and Alex._

_A carving knife was perpendicular to Alex's throat. "Mate for mate." Sam said in a low voice._

_I didn't understand. Emily was alive and unharmed, so what was he talking about? I turned to ask Emily, but she wasn't there. I looked down and saw Emily's body, a gash across her neck. I saw that the knife I was holding to cut vegetables with was covered in blood. I screamed. I spun back around to plead with Sam that I didn't do it, and not to hurt Alex. The pack was replaced by the Cullens. I screamed again when I saw that Jasper was crouched on the ground next to Alex, slurping on red essence. _

I jolted upright. I felt sticky; my clothes were clinging to me from sweating. I took a deep breath, hoping that it would relax me. It was all just a dream.

* * *

**Okay, this is more of a fluff chapter. I'm sorry, but I'm falling asleep as I type. I only got four hours of sleep for days straight. I just wanted to post this before I go to bed. **


	6. Careful What You Wish For

**I know I told many of you that I would be updating soon, but events happened. I am trying to make this chapter longer than some of my previous ones to make it up to you guys!! I hope you like it.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from the Twilight series.**

* * *

_It was all just a dream._

**-Leah-**

"Do you get nightmares a lot?" Edward asked quietly.

I jumped in surprise. There he was, sitting on the couch that was up against the wall, staring out the window. "What are you doing in here?" I hissed, feeling like my privacy had been invaded.

"You were having a nightmare," he replied coolly.

"What of it?"

"Vampires don't sleep, so we don't get dreams. I was curious." Edward shrugged.

"Get out."

Edward didn't budge. I glared at him, hoping that I wouldn't have to get up and _throw_ him out. "As if you could catch me," he smirked, knowing he was right.

I growled low in my throat.

His face then turned thoughtful, "Sam was the one that broke your jaw." It wasn't a question. I said nothing. "Why?"

"Because I almost killed Emily."

Edward's eyes widened in shock.

"It wasn't really me though," I added quickly.

Edward raised an eyebrow, "Utlapa? Who is that?" I reviewed the legends in my mind quickly. "So, he took over your body?"

"Yeah."

"Why didn't you tell them that? Why did you let Sam do that to you?"

I growled. "I didn't _let _him do anything. It all happened too quickly. Everyone was pissed and if I stayed any longer they would have morphed, and there isn't enough room in Emily's kitchen for that. She really _would_ have died."

"Why don't you tell them now?"

I hesitated, "I…I don't know. It's better this way, I guess."

"But you're innocent. Emily must feel awful."

"Shut up, Edward." I hissed, not wanting to hear how my cousin feels. "I said _it's better this way_. Got it?"

"Why do you think that?"

"Why would I tell _you_? I didn't ask you to play Mr. Therapist, alright? Go to your wife or something."

Edward pursed his lips and then left the room without making a sound. A small part of me felt smug, for accomplishing the task of getting Edward out of my room. The larger half just felt more lonely than before. Edward had planted the thought inside my head, how did everyone feel? Surely upset, but what about Emily? Did she feel betrayed? Perhaps she was glad for the excuse to kick me out of her life. I sighed, feeling conflicted. I got out from underneath the covers and went over to the windows. Everything was dark and quiet. Peaceful would have been the correct term if this wasn't the home of vampires and the temporary shelter of a werewolf.

I opened a window and slid out; landing on the soft ground without making any sound. I glanced around and breathed in semi-fresh air. I hastily removed my clothes and began to morph. Even though I knew I would hear hate filled thoughts, I had to try and explain. Explain my situation and hope that they would still take me back; I could barely bear to rely on the Cullens for a day -my pride wouldn't allow any longer than two days (max). After the burst of heat, cracking of bones, and stretching of muscles I was a wolf…and heard nothing. My mind was quiet, filled with only _my_ confused thoughts. They had to be in wolf form because it was time for patrol, so why can't I hear them? Fear flooded into me. Had something happened to them? Surely nothing could harm them besides vampires, but they would be in wolf form for that. Should I check on them to make sure they're okay?

"Leah?" a soft voice said to my left. I turned and found that it was Bella. She still had her mahogany colored hair, pale skin (that was only a bit more pale), and was still under the age of twenty. Her brown eyes were replaced with a golden color and her scent was so sweet it burned my nose. She hesitated under my gaze; if she was human she would have been tomato-red. "I was wondering how...Jacob was."

Irritation filled the front of my mind. Who did Bella think she was kidding? She had no right to even ask; she_ left_ him. It was because of her that Jacob ran off to Canada for months after the wedding invitation. Of course, she knew that since Seth had been her link on what was going on in the pack. After becoming a vampire, she hasn't called since, which was good because Jacob came back. Still, why was she asking me when I couldn't even hear their stupid thoughts?

I morphed back, so I could reply. Bella handed me my clothes and I took them and put them on. "I don't-." I stopped talking; I could taste blood in my mouth. My tongue hurt and the inside of my cheeks hurt. What the hell? I put a finder to my front teeth only to be poked by something sharp. Fuck. I broke the wires when I morphed; I'd been so distracted that I hadn't noticed. My jaw didn't hurt all that much though, which was the only plus of the situation. I held up a finger, silently telling her to hold that thought, and then strode into the house. Edward must have informed Carlisle because Carlisle was waiting for me in the kitchen.

Carlisle didn't approve that I had morphed. He removed the wires and gave me elastic bands instead. He said that I could tell Charlie that the swelling made my jaw look a lot worse than it really was. I nodded in agreement, glad that my jaws were no longer wired shut.

"Do you know what you are going to say to your mom when you go back?" Jasper asked from the doorway of the kitchen, Alice holding his hand tightly.

"Why?"

"Because Chief Swan just pulled up."

Panic poured into my system at a rapid rate. Edward moved so fast that he turned invisible, probably to grab onto Bella. All of a sudden, I was calm. I raised an eyebrow at Jasper; underneath the calm, I was feeling irritated that I was being controlled.

"The sooner he leaves the better." Jasper said, his voice urgent.

"Thanks for everything." I said quickly, my pride outraged that I had thanked a bunch of bloodsuckers. I dashed out of the room and then out of the house. Yep, there was Charlie's police car. Charlie gestured me to get in, looking like he was about to get out of the car. I obeyed his gesture, climbing into the passenger seat. "Hi, Charlie." I said, trying to keep the nervousness out of my tone, clicking my seat belt in.

"You look much better Leah." Charlie observed, turning the key in the ignition.

"Yeah, Dr. Cullen is good at his job."

"I'm surprised he didn't wire your jaws shut." Charlie said, his eyes now of the path ahead, driving away from the Cullen residence.

"The swelling made things look a lot worse than it really was." I shrugged, hoping that I sounded genuine.

"Well, I'm glad to hear that you weren't hurt too bad."

"So are you ready for some fish fry?" I asked, changing the subject.

"Fish fry?" Charlie questioned, his brows furrowing in confusion.

"I promised you that I would make you some." I reminded.

"Thanks Leah, but maybe some other time. Your mom is really worried about you."

"I'm thinking about going to college; you know, picking up my education again," I said quickly. "So I don't really know when I'll see you next."

"Sue never mentioned anything about college."

"I still have to talk to her about it."

"Ah. Do you know where you are going to go?"

I said the first college that came to mind, "Peninsula College, here in Forks."

"That's not a bad college. I don't know why Bella didn't want to go there, but I guess that was her decision." Charlie sighed, bringing a silence as he got lost in his own thoughts.

I let him think for a minute before I reminded him about the fish fry.

"Alright, you can make it for me at your house if Sue doesn't mind that I stay for dinner."

"Of course she won't mind." I said, my tone had no doubt in it. "Besides, it's thanks to you that I got medical attention so quickly."

"Shucks, Leah." Charlie said, embarrassed but pleased. "Well, I guess I'll be staying for dinner then."

I got more and more tense as the cruiser got closer and closer to the boundary line. Luckily, Charlie didn't notice that I had dug my fingernails into my thighs when we finally did enter the reservation. My eyes scanned the foliage, searching for any dark shapes. I glanced at the windows for the second time, making sure that they were shut; I didn't want my scent to leak out of the car and alarm the pack. I figured that the reason that I couldn't hear the pack's thoughts earlier was because I was in exile. Sam had broken the bond with his words; he probably didn't even know that he had done so. It felt like I couldn't get enough oxygen whenever I breathed; a symptom of stress. My chest felt tight and I was sure that if it wasn't for Charlie, I would have jumped out of the moving car and ran back. My stomach twisted as all too familiar scenery passed by. Finally, Charlie pulled in front of my house.

With shaking hands I undid my seat belt, glanced out the windows one more time, and exited the vehicle. I shut the door behind me, feeling as if I had left a sanctuary; I was exposed, unsafe. My mom burst through the front door and strode over to me. Her eyes were red from crying, her hair was a mess, and her clothes were wrinkled from just sitting around. Poor Sue Clearwater, my dear mom. She pulled herself close to me in a tight hug and started sobbing. I was mildly surprised; I had expected all hell to break loose. This wasn't hell…but then again, the pack wasn't here. I hugged my mom back, my muscles relaxing in her familiar arms. After about five seconds I released her and she released me. She took a deep breath and I knew what was coming.

"Leah Ann Clearwater, how dare you get yourself hurt and then run off to who knows where?! What were you thinking?"

I just stared at her. Why wasn't she mentioning Emily? Oh right, Charlie. "Could you give us a minute?" I asked Charlie. He nodded and went ahead into the house. "I promised to make him some fish fry." I explained.

"Well?" my mom asked, still firm on getting her questions answered.

"Didn't Seth tell you?" I asked. Obviously there was something up if she hadn't mentioned Emily yet.

"Tell me what?"

I gaped at her in shock, my mind wandering away from our conversation. Seth hadn't told her that Sam had banished me from the reservation. That I was no longer part of the pack. What the hell was he thinking, leaving Mom to assume that I was running away from home?

"Leah," said a low, cold voice.

"Hey, Seth." I said, keeping my eyes on Mom. There was no way that I was turning around to face him.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, keeping his voice too quiet for Mom to hear.

"I thought I'd treat Charlie to some fish fry, considering he made sure I got some _medical attention_." I said, not bothering to lower my voice.

"You broke the treaty?!" he hissed.

"Not at all. Since the treaty doesn't apply to me anymore." I said, keeping my tone calm.

"What are you talking about, Leah?" Mom asked, sounding confused and angry.

"Why don't you tell her, Seth? Since you forgot to do that earlier."

I could feel Seth's glare burning into my back, but I never moved my eyes away from my mom's confused face. "Alright." Seth said, his voice suddenly confident and cool as a cucumber. "Well it all started when Leah almost _killed_ Emily with a steak knife," he said, pausing so my mom could react.

And oh boy, did my mom react. In fact she reacted with so much energy, she nearly fainted.

"Mom?" I asked, catching her in my arms before she could fall to the ground.

"Leah, you didn't really-?" Mom paused, letting her question hang in the air.

"It wasn't really _me_, Mom, I swear. It going to sound crazy, but it's the truth."

"What are you talking about, Leah?" Seth asked, acid leaking into his tone.

I winced at Seth's tone, helped Mom back to her feet and continued, "You remember all of the legends, right Mom?"

She nodded.

"Utlapa took over my body." I said, deciding to keep my explanation simple.

There was an eerie silence. Then Seth broke the quiet with a humorless laugh, making goosebumps appear on my arms. His laughter was unlike him; harsh and cold. What had happened to my sweet little brother? "Is that the best you can come up with? Did you really think we were just going to swallow that? Get out of here, Leah."

Hot liquid stung my eyes, I gulped back a sob. My frame began to shake; my muscles tensed, but I didn't let them stretch. "It's the truth, Seth. I was in the spirit world and I met Taha Aki, Utlapa took advantage of that and stole my body."

"Maybe you should have listened more closely to the legends. They clearly say that Taha Aki killed Utlapa before he could escape the body. Taha Aki went missing after his third wife died; he probably died too so he could be with her again. Neither of them would be in the spirit world. You'll have to think of a better lie."

"I'm not lying." I say through clenched teeth, the pressure making the side of my head ache, my eyes on the ground.

"Sure you're not." Seth sarcastically agreed. "Go make Charlie some fish fry or whatever and leave."

I looked back up at my mom, pleading with my eyes to believe me. "Mom-?"

My mom let out a breath that I didn't know she was holding. "What happened afterwards?"

I didn't know if she believed me or not, but I was relieved that she didn't immediately tell me to pack my bags. "I got back into my body and pulled the knife away from Emily when Sam blindsided me and punched me, dislocating my jaw. Emily told him to get off. Then Sam banished me from the reservation, declaring that I was no longer part of the pack." I explained quickly, afraid that I would break down if I spoke any slower.

Mom remained quiet for a minute, thinking things through. "Sam may be Alpha but he has no right to banish you without the elders consent."

"But his words worked." I mumbled.

My mom looked at me wanting an explanation for my words, I could feel Seth's attitude shift towards curiosity.

"I morphed about a half an hour ago and couldn't hear anyone's thoughts. He truly exiled me from the pack."

"Good for you." Seth said bitterly. At this, I turned to face him. His usual cheerful face was distorted with a scowl, and his frame was shaking. "You always said that you hated being apart of the pack. Guess what? You got your wish, congratulations."

I didn't know what to say. Seth was right, I had gotten my wish, but I never thought that it would make me feel so insignificant and lonely. I looked back at Mom, unable to bear anymore of this new Seth.

"Charlie's waiting for us, let's not make him wait any longer," she said softly. She was trying not to pick anyone's side.

Instead of going into the house, Seth turned and walked into the forest. I followed Mom inside, fear tearing at my insides. I had no doubt that Seth was telling the pack that I was here. Charlie was on the couch, waiting patiently, flipping through an old fishing magazine.

"Hey Charlie." I greeted, making sure that my tone was cheerful. "Ready for some fish fry?"

Charlie looked up from his magazine and smiled, "You betcha'."

"Is there anything else that you want? I could make a salad…oh and there's plenty of drinks in the fridge." I offer, playing hostess.

"I'm good, thanks."

I nodded and entered the kitchen, washing my hands first. I still smelled like bloodsucker; ew.

The three of us sat quietly at the table, Charlie and Mom were eating fish fry, which amazingly turned out right. Dad would have been proud. I was proud; he gave _only_ me the recipe, probably in hopes that I would start making my presence known in the kitchen. I suppose being able to cook was in the family. Look at Emily; she could have her own cooking show if she wanted to. I had made a smoothie for myself the way Esme showed me…I was going to have to call. As much as I hated being in the Cullens debt, I at least owed Esme (and Carlisle) a proper thank you.

"So Leah, are you still planning on going to college?" Charlie asked, reminding me our conversation earlier.

"Oh yeah, I nearly forgot." I said putting a modest smile on my face. I turned to Mom, "I want to go back to school, and I was thinking about Peninsula College in Forks."

My mom nearly choked on her food, the poor woman. "Leah, I'm sorry but you have responsibilities here."

"Didn't Dad always say that knowledge is the most valuable thing in your arsenal?" I said, knowing that I was hitting below the belt mentioning Dad, but I was desperate. The pack obviously didn't want me back, and I wasn't going to force myself on them. I was going to move on. I was going to give myself a chance to get on with the life that Sam had halted.

"Honey," my mom began, her eyes sad. "We just bought this house, we can't afford college."

"I have some money in the bank. I'm sure I can get a loan and a part time job."

"I don't think that's in your best interest, Leah," my mom said, her voice getting more firm.

I knew she was talking about me being a werewolf, but I wasn't going to let that stop me. Besides, Alex was at Peninsula College. I can't live without the chance of seeing him. I sighed. There was only one way that she was going to let me go; I had to tell her about Alex. "I met a boy today."

My mom's eyes widened in surprise that I had changed the topic to such a subject, considering that I used to avoid it like the plague. "You did?"

I had to be crafty with Charlie around; I couldn't just say that I met my imprint. "Yeah, his name is Alex. He goes to college, and that made me think that going back to my education could really benefit me. It almost feels like I _have _to go, Mom."

My mom pursed her lips.

I couldn't tell if she understood or not, so I continued, "Getting an education at that college is the center of my universe now. Please Mom, let me go. I really need this for myself."

I could see the recognition in her eyes. Her jaw dropped slightly and she just stared at me in shock, she recovered though and said, "Well, if it means that much to you then you can go."

Charlie then began to explain the process of getting into college. I listened intently, almost unable to keep my excitement from overflowing. I was going to be a student at Peninsula College with Alex!

* * *

**I hope you all liked this chapter!! :)**


	7. Cursed

**Sorry it took me so long to update!! I had to work on my other fic (it got to a pretty intense part and I couldn't just leave the people hanging). There was also a power outage for a couple of days, so that slowed down my ability to update. And final exams too. But I hope that you enjoy this chapter anyways!!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from the Twilight series. Peninsula College is a real school. (I'm in HS so I have no clue what college is really like, so I'm sorry if any information is incorrect.)**

* * *

**-Next day, around noon-**

**-Leah-**

"Can I help you with that?" a man asked, eyeing the four large duffle bags hanging off of my shoulders.

"No thanks, I got it." I tell him, not breaking pace as I swept through the courtyard. I kept my eyes forward, looking out for any signs that might lead me to my dorm.

"You sure?" he persisted.

"Yep."

He left, getting the hint that I wasn't interested.

I found a collaboration of signs and briefly read them and found no direction towards the dorms. To my reluctance, I pulled out the map that had been given to me by the Student Services office. I was way off in my sense of direction. The dorms weren't even by the school itself; it was further back near the edge of campus. I folded the map back up and shoved it back into my pocket quickly; I didn't want to be seen with a map. That showed that I didn't know where I was going, and that meant vulnerability. Then again, walking around with four duffle bags didn't help much; if anything, it made me look stupid.

I turned left and began to walk down the sidewalk and headed for the dorms. After five minutes of walking, I was getting impatient. If only I could just _run_ to the dorms, then I would be there in less than fifteen seconds. Sadly, the inhuman speed would attract attention and that would be incredibly bad. I decided to do a slow jog. Okay, I knew it looked strange considered that I was carrying four bags, but I doubted anyone is going to say anything. With my long strides and steady pace; I reached the dorms in under a minute.

I felt like I was going to be sick; I was getting nervous. What if my roommate didn't like me? What if my roommate had a shitty attitude or bad habits, or drama that I didn't want to deal with? I took a deep breath and entered the building. I kept an eye on the room numbers and stopped when I was in front of my room. I stared at the door, having second thoughts. I could hear music being played from inside. Maybe college wasn't the best thing for me. I wasn't socially ready. My ability to communicate had suffered over the years.

"Is everything okay?" asked a male voice. I turned to see a guy about my height with shaggy brown hair that got into his eyes, brown eyes, casual clothes and a gangly build.

"Yeah," I answered, forcing my voice to be cheerful. "Thanks, but everything's okay. This is my dorm."

He raised an eyebrow. "You're Rachel's new roommate?"

"Uh, sure."

The guy chuckled, "She doesn't bite. Go on and meet her, she's nice. My name's Derek, by the way."

I extended my hand, wanting to be as friendly as possible, "Leah."

He took my hand and shook it, "Wow, you've got a firm grip, and are you running a fever? You're burning up."

I let go of him quickly, I probably looked like I had been electrocuted, "No, I don't have a fever." That didn't sound so convincing, so I added, "I'm just kind of warm because I jogged here from the Students Services Office, that's all." Stupid werewolf temperature of a 108 degrees Fahrenheit.

Derek let his hand drop back down to his side, but kept his eyes locked with mine. "With all four of those bags?"

"I'm a stubborn person, and I wanted to get here quickly." I said. It wasn't a lie. My heart was beginning to race; I didn't want to rat out my secret to the entire campus. Society would collapse knowing that werewolves and vampires existed.

"What about your car?"

"My car's back at home, broken."

"You look like you didn't even break a sweat."

"Are you suggesting that I'm lying?" I asked, getting annoyed with his interrogation. Who gave him the right anyways?

Derek hesitated, "I'm hoping that if I can get you to admit it, then you'll go to the hospital. You're temperature is really high, that's really dangerous."

I blushed and my heart gave a painful throb; I wasn't used to people being concerned about me right off the bat. Too bad Derek wasn't my imprint; his suspicions would make it so much easier to tell him the truth about me. The image of Alex popped into the forefront of my mind. Scratch that last thought; too bad that Alex wasn't here worrying about me. No one could compare to Alex. _Nobody_. "Thanks for you concern, Derek. It means a lot to me, but I'm fine. _Really_. I'm gonna go and meet Rachel now."

I opened the door, stepped inside and closed the door before Derek could get a word out of his mouth. Oh man, I hadn't even unpacked my stuff and there was already someone suspicious. I looked around the room; it wasn't very big, but it was just large enough to fit in a living room and a small kitchen. The walls were a soft beige color; the curtains and the carpet matched. The couch and two chairs were a light olive green; the material looked smooth and soft. The chairs sat on either side of the couch. In front of the couch was a glass coffee table; holding a couple of magazines, three cups, a plate, and a school book. The room held other decorations; all carefully coordinated to the theme of green and beige. On the wall was a mirror and a couple of simple artworks. I set my four bags down on the floor next to the couch and walked over to the artworks, wanting to get a better look. There was a picture of clouds with light shining through a single space; at the bottom it said ""The truth is more important than the facts" -Frank Lloyd Wright (1869-1959)". I doubted that statement. It's the facts that people usually care about, whether or not it's true.

Over the music, I heard footsteps behind me and turned around. A girl my age with sleek blonde hair that flowed down to her waist and stood at five foot 7 was picking up the cups and plate off of the coffee table. She wore a casual blue dress that hugged her curves; the dress had thin straps but was made to look like there was a t-shirt beneath it, the dress ended at an inch above her knee. She wore black Italian stiletto heeled shoes. She swayed to the beat of the music as she walked over to the kitchen and began to wash the dishes in the sink. She didn't even see me.

"Hello?" I called; making sure my voice was loud enough to hear over the music. She jumped in surprise, getting water all over the place. She turned to face me. Guilt dug a small hole in my stomach; I should have made my presence known earlier so she wouldn't have gotten her dress all wet. I rushed over to her side and handed her a towel. "Sorry about that. My name's Leah, I'm your new roommate." I half expected her to glare at me, flip her hair over her shoulder and tell me all of the rules she expected me to follow -but she didn't.

Instead, she gave me a big smile. "My name's Rachel. I'm really glad that you're here. Do you want any help packing?"

I thought for a moment; it would be a good thing if I kept my distance -she could find out my secret if I'm not careful. On the other hand, this was my chance to make a _friend_ -something that I've haven't had since high school. "Yeah, that'd be great."

"Alright, where are your bags?" she asked, drying herself off with the towel.

I pointed to the four duffel bags on the floor next to the olive green couch.

"Wow, four bags. Is that all clothes?"

I wish. "No, just a few things from home is all." I said, trying to keep my tone light. More like everything that I had in my room excluding furnishings.

She set the towel down on the limited counter space and headed over to my stuff; her heels clicked on the wooden floor until she reached the carpet.

"Oh, uh, Rachel?"

"Yeah?" Rachel asked turning to face me.

"I'll get those bags -they might be too heavy for you."

"I'm stronger than I look," she assured me. She turned back around and tried to lift one of my bags. She managed to get it two inches off of the floor before it fell back down. "Do you have bricks in here?" she teased.

"Only the ones weighing five pounds each."

We laughed. I walked past her and lifted the bags; I made sure to make it look difficult so she couldn't get too suspicious. I followed her into my room. It had a twin sized bed, a drawer, a desk and a full-length mirror. I saw door that led to the bathroom. I had my own bathroom. There was no way that college was a mistake; Seth and I often had to fight over the shower back at home. My throat tightened and my chest felt like a weight had been dropped on it. Seth. My sweet little brother wasn't so little or so sweet anymore. I set the bags on my bare bed and unzipped the one that contained my clothes. I shook it upside down, letting my clothes tumble onto the bed. Last night had been scary; I didn't get any sleep knowing that at any second Sam and the rest of the pack could come and drag me out of my room and tear me apart. I sniffed, hoping that a crying session wasn't coming on.

"You okay?" Rachel asked.

"Yeah, it might be allergies."

Rachel nodded. "So you didn't fold your clothes while packing?"

"I was in a hurry. I'm really excited to attend college." Of course I was excited; I'd have more of a chance to Alex. My haste in packing also had to do with the fact that I wasn't allowed on the reservation and the consequences for doing so weren't pretty. Rachel grabbed a shirt and began to fold it. I folded a shirt as well. All of a sudden my cell phone began to vibrate, causing me to jump three feet in the air. "Jesus!" I said, pulling the phone out of my pocket. I was more scared than irritated. What if it was Sam was calling, telling me that the council had agreed that college was no the best thing for me? What if it was Seth? Emily? I looked at the identification and saw that it was Alex calling me. All of my fears disappeared. The weight that had built up on my chest lifted and I could breath easy. Warmth spread to my center to the very tip of my fingers and toes. A grin involuntarily appeared on my face and I answered the phone eagerly, "Hello?"

"Hey, Leah. It's Alex. I was wondering if you wanted to hang out later today. I already finished my classes."

His voice sent a shiver down my back -one that had nothing to do with morphing. Butterflies filled my stomach. "That'd be cool. What time? Place?" I asked, barely able to contain my excitement.

"Mmm…how about three-ish? We could go grab a snack if you're hungry."

"Sounds good." I was starved; but then again, I wasn't eating enough to support my werewolf body. "Oh, and it turns out that I was able to convince my mom to let me attend college."

"That's great, Leah! Congrats."

"Thanks."

"What college?"

"The first thing that popped into my mind was Peninsula College, so the same school that you go to."

"Cool. I guess I'll be able to hang out with you more. You could meet all of my friends."

"Sounds good to me."

"What's your roommate like?"

"She's nice. I like her."

"That's goo- ah, I gotta go. I'll meet you in the west courtyard?"

"Yep."

"See you."

"See you," I shut my phone. I saw that Rachel had been watching me out of the corner of her eye.

"What's up? You got this big grin on your face," she said, smiling.

I glanced at the mirror in the corner of the room; yep, I was grinning like a fool. Alex had way too much control over me. Everything he says or does will affect me much more than it should. How sick was it to hate Alex and love him at the same time? "A guy." I replied, wanting to keep the explanation.

Rachel's eyes sparkled. "Now you've got me curious."

"Okay, so I met him a couple days ago and we got along really well; so we exchanged phone numbers."

"You don't seem like the type to hand out your number."

"Why do you say that?" I asked, wondering how she could know me so well when I've only known her for ten minutes.

Rachel shrugged, "I don't really know how to explain it….you seem kind of cautious."

"Cautious?" I asked, playing dumb. The smile I had on slid right off of my face.

Rachel looked lost for words, "Never mind. So tell me more about this guy."

"Well, he goes to this school; I'm going to meet him in the West courtyard around three."

"Is it a date?" Rachel asked eagerly.

"I don't know. Maybe."

"Well, whether or not it is, you're going to make his jaw drop when he sees you," she said with an impish smile. I began opened my mouth to question her, but she turned to my clothes and began to go through them. "You've got some cute stuff in here," she commented. I felt torn between telling her my clothes was none of her damn business or going along with her little charade simply because I wanted her to like me. "You've got a great figure, Leah. He's going to be putty in your hands."

I blushed. "I can only hope." I mutter.

"Hmm? What was that?"

"Oh, nothing."

Rachel continued to look through my clothes. After five minutes of commenting and searching (while I folded the clothes that she put aside), she sighed. "What do you think about these?"

I looked over and saw that she had coordinated some of my clothes into some good looking outfits. There were twelve outfits. "I think that there's a lot to choose from."

Rachel laughed. "Okay, then eliminate some of them."

I peered over the outfits, looking each of them over carefully. I couldn't help but feel grateful towards Rachel; being the only girl in the pack had caused me to not really care about how I looked, so having her around was a big help. "This one looks…a bit too girly, not that it's a bad thing, it's just that it looks a bit much for a second date," I pointed to a dress that I hadn't worn in years. Okay, it wasn't really a _date_, but I couldn't think of anything else. Rachel agreed with me and put it on a hanger. "That one _looks_ like it was coordinated. I want to look like I wasn't making a big deal out of it," I pointed to matching shirt and skirt. Rachel pondered this for a moment and then agreed.

After a half an hour, twelve was down to six. "We need someone else's opinion." Rachel decided.

I sighed. I'd rather not anyone else get dragged into this, but I knew she was right. "Yeah."

"I'll go call up my boyfriend."

I stared at her, wondering if she was sane in the head.

Rachel laughed, "I'm not crazy." Then she explained, "He has really good judgment, and what better way to dress up for a guy than to ask another guy's opinion? Besides, he's not going to tell to anyone. He's really nice about other people's privacy, so you don't need to worry about it."

If I was going to befriend Rachel, I had to deal with the guy that she will probably spend most of her time with. "Alight, call him up."

Rachel beamed and pulled out her cell phone nearly as fast as a vampire. I barely paid attention as the two talked; I was just too busy picturing Alex in my head. I imagined the way he would be sitting on a courtyard bench, waiting for me. He would smile as soon as he caught sight of me, and then his jaw would drop slightly when he registered me in my outfit. He'd stand up and wait for me to get closer, preparing himself for what he would say when I did reach him. And when I do reach him, he'll say the first thing that comes to mind, "You look great." I'd probably blush and thank him. Then things will settle more on the casual side…

"It's all settled." Rachel announced, shutting her phone. Her voice quickly pulled me out of my daydream. "He's going to be here soon."

"I hope I'm not interrupting anything." I didn't want to make the guy upset with me. I knew how far guys would go to make their girlfriends happy, but that didn't mean that they weren't seething on the inside.

"Nah. He said that it needs to be quick though cause he's meeting up with a friend."

I nodded. "So what did you tell him?"

"I just told him that you're meeting up with a guy that you like and that you need to look good. I also told him that he just needs to choose between six outfits."

"Is he overwhelmed by the fact that six is the narrowed down number?"

Rachel laughed. "No, he's had to choose between twenty-three before. He can handle this."

"He must really love you."

Rachel beamed. "Yeah, I love him too. He's not a pushover; he can tell me "no" if he really wants to. I do things for him as well, so we're pretty even when it comes to favors. I mean, we've known each other for years; although we only got together a few moths ago."

I smiled, "I'm happy for you, Rachel."

"I'll be able to say the same for you when you have this guy for keeps. What's his name anyway?"

I was about to answer when I heard knocking on the door. "He's here."

"How can you tell?"

"I heard him knock."

"Over the music?"

I nodded. We left the bedroom and entered the living room. I sat on the couch while she kept walking to answer the door.

"You know, the door is unlocked." Rachel said, as she opened the door.

My heart stopped. I knew that dark blonde hair and those hazel eyes. I knew them as though I had known them my entire life. I was truly cursed; Rachel's boyfriend was Alex.

* * *

**End of Chapter. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed, I love you guys!! -I would really appreciate it if you took the time to review again. :) **


	8. Goof

**Summer vacation is here, and I'm really happy about it. The only thing that will prevent me from updating now is my social life. Lol. **

**Whoever is the 100****th**** reviewer gets a prize!! (I have over 80 reviews now, so I thought I should let you all know now). The prize will be that I will write you whatever story scenario you wish OR you will simply get the next chapter before anyone else. Unless anyone has any better ideas-? Let me know if you do have any better ideas. :) **

**Disclaimer: I do not own any characters from the Twilight series. Peninsula College is a real place. **

* * *

**-Leah-**

I watched as he stepped inside wrapping his arms around Rachel's waist as she wrapped hers around his neck. I dug my nails into my thighs. I felt a stab of jealousy, but a wave of pain overpowered it. He was already taken. He would never want someone like me, especially when he had Rachel -someone nice, thoughtful -kinder things that I wasn't. My frame began to shake.

"Alex?" I called softly; my throat felt as if it was constricting, halting my normal volume.

Rachel let go of Alex as he let go of her in surprise. "You know him?" she asked me, her eyes wide.

I couldn't speak. I took a deep breath, to calm my nerves. Emily's scarred face flashed through my mind. I couldn't afford to morph in front of anybody. My shaking halted.

"Leah, is Rachel your roommate?" he asked. Instead of his voice sending butterflies into my stomach, it made me feel like I was going to be sick. He was…too good for me. Rachel should be his other half, not me. It must have all been a mistake. I was a mistake; I wasn't supposed to be a werewolf in the first place -I'm a girl. I averted my eyes from Alex, scared that I would break to pieces if I faced him. I nodded in response.

"I'm totally lost here," said Rachel. "What's going on here?"

I found my voice and explained, "Alex is the friend I'm supposed to meet at three." I hoped that Rachel didn't get mad at him; it wasn't his fault that he was my imprint and that I was ridiculously head over heels for him. I didn't want to ruin their relationship, though part of me did. I glanced at Rachel to see her reaction.

She looked like she didn't believe me, then she looked upset, and then she looked worried and concerned. "I'll let you two talk," she said softly, leaving the dorm.

Rachel had left an awkward silence in the room.

I gave my thighs a break from my nails and picked up a beige throw pillow. I examined the smooth material closely as I turned it over in my hands.

"I'm sorry." Alex said. My eyes shot up towards his face, what did he have to apologize for? His face showed guilt, as plain as day. He saw the confusion on my face, so he explained, "For leading you on. I'm really sorry Leah, I never thought that I would be giving you the wrong idea. I'm so sorry."

I stood up, letting the pillow fall to the floor. I clenched my teeth, irritation began to fill my insides, "Oh, shut up, Alex. Don't apologize anymore and stop feeling guilty." His expression turned into utter shock. "You weren't "leading me on", okay? You did nothing wrong; you can't help how I feel." By the end of my words, my irritation had faded; leaving me embarrassed and sad. I was blushing and tears were filling up in my eyes. I turned away from Alex so he wouldn't see.

He didn't say anything for a minute, then he asked, "Can we still be friends?"

I spun around. Hope went down deep into my core. "You want to be friends, really?"

Alex nodded.

"Why?"

"What do you mean "why"?" Alex asked, his brows knitting in confusion.

"Why do you want to be friends with me?"

"Because you're a good person, Leah. You're easy to talk to, I feel comfortable being around you. You also say how it is and don't sugarcoat things; it's refreshing."

"Oh." Not the most ingenious response.

"So?"

"So what?"

"So did you still want to be friends?"

"Alex, I never thought you to be dense. _Of course_ I want to be friends. Besides, I wouldn't risk a friendship with Rachel to have a relationship with you." It wasn't a lie. I am _never _going to do to Rachel what Sam did to me. I knew how painful it was to have the love of you life taken away; I wasn't about to put someone else in that kind of pain. Besides, Alex seemed to be _happy_ with Rachel, and that's all that mattered.

Alex smiled; sending butterflies into my stomach. A warm bubble of happiness filled up in my chest. I could still hang out with Alex, and that is all I need. Just being near him was enough.

**-An hour later-**

Alex had left the dorm to go find Rachel an hour ago. I looked at the digital clock on the nightstand for the millionth time. I sighed and hung up the last article of clothing in my closet. All of my clothes were put away now. I just had to hope that Rachel didn't want to kick me out. I heard the entrance door shut, I rushed over to the doorway that connected the living room and my room. Rachel was all smiles. She saw me and gestured for me to come over. I obeyed her gesture and walked over. Rachel gave me a hug; the top of her head reached the top of my shoulder. After a brief second of shock, I hugged her back gently -I didn't want to break the girl. After another second we released each other.

"So what was that for?" I asked, feeling relieved that she hadn't slapped me.

"For worrying you."

"Are you kidding me? _I _was the one who worried _you_."

"Silly, I meant that you thought that I hated you, right?"

I looked down at the floor, choosing not to respond.

"Well, I don't hate you, Leah. And I'm not upset with you or Alex."

"What took you so long to get here?" I asked. I was certain that she was gone for the hour because she had been off crying somewhere.

Rachel laughed, "Well, at first I went for a walk, but then I went over to my friend's dorm to help her with her homework. Then Alex showed up, scared that I was mad. It was adorable."

I couldn't help but feel irritated that she called Alex "adorable". I kept that particular emotion off of my face. "So you really aren't mad?"

"I just told you a few seconds ago that I wasn't," Rachel smiled, patting me on the back to reassure me. "I never was. When I went for a walk, I was scared that _you _were going to be upset. I felt really bad about ratting out your feelings to him. If it was me in your situation, I would have just _died_ from embarrassment. So I'm really sorry about that."

What was it with these people and apologizing for something that couldn't be helped? "Rachel, please don't apologize. You couldn't have known that he was the guy I was talking about, so don't worry about it. No harm done; I'm fine."

Rachel was quiet for a short moment, then she asked, "Hey Leah?"

"Yeah?"

"Alex told me that you said something to him…and I was wondering if you really meant it."

"What did I say?" I asked. I quickly searched through my memories, but I couldn't find anything that really fit with the context that Rachel put it in.

"You said that you wouldn't risk my friendship to have a relationship with him."

I sighed, "Yes, Rachel, I really meant it." I looked down at the floor, kind of embarrassed. I glanced back up at her to see her reaction though.

Rachel was radiant. She gave me another hug. "I didn't think you would steal him or anything, but I'm so glad that you want to be friends!"

Was everyone in Forks this open about their feelings? I sure hoped it was a trait that wouldn't rub off on me. I patted her back lightly, "Yeah, yeah."

Rachel let go of me, still smiling.

"I should let you know, I'm not big on hugging people."

"Oh, sorry."

"Stop apologizing!" I hissed. Sam apologized a lot; I hated the word "sorry".

Rachel giggled, "Sorry for being sorry."

I rolled my eyes. "You're kind of a goof, Rachel, you know that?"

Rachel smiled, "Yeah, I know. You're kind of a goof yourself."

* * *

**End of chapter. Yeah, it's a short chapter, but it's a happy one. (For once. I know. I know. lol) :)**


	9. The Lies Begin to Come Undone

**I am a beta for two people: witchbeth and xsoutherngurl08x!! witchbeth is the author of "Reflections in the Silence" -a Collin imprint story. xsoutherngurlx is the author of "A Bond You Can't Break" -an Embry imprint story. Please read them, they're really good!!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from the Twilight series. Peninsula College is a real College -and it is actually in Port Angeles, ****not**** Forks (my bad!! lol).**

* * *

**-A week later-**

**-Leah-**

Who the hell was I kidding?

I couldn't handle Sam being with Emily, so what made me think that I could handle Alex -my imprint, soul mate- being my roommate's boyfriend? I don't have a choice, really. A week into the college life and I was already swamped with homework; relying on Rachel for tutoring. If I make Rachel upset, then no more good grades; meaning no more college which means no more Alex. Of course that was just logic.

Without the logic, Rachel was my _friend_. Hurting her would be unforgivable.

However, our friendship didn't mean that I wasn't jealous. By all means I should be a dark green. Every time I saw Rachel holding Alex's hand, or whispering in his ear, or sitting on his lap, my heart tore up into pieces. _I_ wanted to be the one to hold his hand, to whisper in his ear, or to sit on his lap even though there were other places to sit. I found myself thinking awful things about Rachel and would feel guilty; knowing it wasn't her fault. She had every right to do those things; Alex was _her _boyfriend and she was there first. I had to be strong.

Like now. Right now I had to be strong. I was curled up in a chair watching Alex and Rachel watch the movie. He had an arm wrapped around her waist and she was nestled into his side. They looked cozy. More cozy than I would have liked, but there was nothing I could do about it. I returned my gaze to the tv, not because I wanted to watch the movie, but because I was afraid of getting caught watching them. I knew that the both of them felt guilty (when they remembered that I existed -they get caught up in their own little world frequently-), which only made me feel worse.

All of a sudden, there was a knock on the door. I jumped nearly two feet in the air. Rachel and Alex laughed at me good naturedly. I got to my feet and made a face at them; they laughed harder, and I smiled. They knew I wasn't really mad at them. They stayed snuggled on the couch while I walked towards the door. I opened it and then I instantly wanted to shut it again. It was Derek. He was wearing a t shirt and jeans. His shaggy brown hair was tied back; looking sleek. He may have seemed nice the last time we met, but he was also suspicious. I didn't shut the door in his face though; I stepped aside to let him in. As soon as he was in the threshold I shut the door.

"Oh, hey Derek." Alex said as soon as he saw Derek enter the doorway. Rachel waved.

"So this is where you've been hiding out." Derek said, smiling. He returned Rachel's wave. "What movie are you guys watching?"

"Van Helsing." Rachel answered, pausing the DVD player. Yeah, the movie was incredibly ironic, even though it was based on false information. Hollywood probably wouldn't like it too much if they found out that werewolves don't need the moon to phase, silver doesn't do crap, and that they actually turn into wolves, not some creepy mutation between wolf and man.

"Cool, mind if I join you?"

"Do you even have to ask?" Alex said, revealing his oh so perfect teeth.

Derek chuckled, "Guess not." He then turned to me, "How are you feeling, Leah?"

I gave him a confused look, although I knew exactly what he was talking about.

"Your fever," he reminded.

"I said I was fine." I said sharply. I hadn't mean for it to come out like that, but I was desperate for him to leave me alone so he wouldn't get too suspicious.

Derek's eyes seemed surprised, then hurt, and then determined. "Right," he said, his tone suggesting that he didn't believe me.

"If I _wasn't_ fine, I'd be dead now because I never went to the hospital. I'm fine, Derek."

Derek then took it upon himself to invade my personal space by putting a hand to my forehead.

I smacked his hand away. "Let's go watch the movie." I said, as if nothing had happened. As if I didn't see the recognition in his eyes that my temperature hadn't gone down at all. I walked past him and sat in my chair. I ignored Rachel, Alex, and Derek's concerned looks and kept my eyes on the screen, waiting for the movie to start again. The atmosphere was some what awkward; Rachel pressed the play button on the remote and the movie resumed. I heard Derek sit down in the other chair.

The television went out of focus as I didn't pay attention; I was too busy thinking about what I was going to do about Derek. He seemed like a good friend of Alex's so, force or threats were out of the question. What if Rachel decided to take my temperature while I slept? How much of the Quileute legends did Alex know? Why was Derek caring about my temperature, and how far was he willing to go to prove that he was right?

If he got too suspicious, I would have to leave. I knew that. I may not be part of the pack, but I was a wolf same as them -I couldn't expose the existence of werewolves, even if that meant no longer seeing Alex. My stomach churned at the thought, making feel like I was going to get sick. Beneath my ribs a hollow space took place, making it a feel like each time I couldn't get enough oxygen. I tried to breathe in deeply, but it was ineffective. Calm down, Leah, calm down. You don't have to leave yet. You may not even have to leave at all. Alex is still here in this room -pull yourself together!

"Are you okay, Leah?" Alex's smooth voice asked. My eyes refocused, and saw that the movie was at the part where Anna's brother was turning into a werewolf in the moonlight before her eyes. I turned to face Alex. His face was full of concern; the emotion spread to the expressions of Rachel and Derek.

I wiped at my eyes with the back of my forearm, "Uh, yeah. I'm totally fine. I just get emotional during movies."

Rachel paused the movie. "Are you sure, you're okay?"

I put on a smile. "Yes, I'm fine. It's just that when you think about it, her brother isn't the man he once was; he'll kill her and she's helpless to change that." My smile slid off as soon as I had finished my explanation, realizing how closely my words sounded like my situation with Seth. "I'm getting into the movie a little too much." I stand up. "I think I'll go for a walk, you guys watch the movie without me."

They nodded. They looked like they didn't want me to leave, but didn't know what to say to stop me. I went over to the coat hooks and grabbed a jacket; I didn't need it, but I had to play the part. I slipped on a pair of running shoes and left the dorm, shutting the door behind me. Fortunately, it wasn't raining outside; I slipped on my jacket just in case and to blend in.

"Leah, wait up!" called Derek.

I sighed and stopped. I didn't turn around to face him; I just stared down at my shoes. After a couple seconds, he reached my side, his breathing a little deeper than usual. "Did you need something?" I asked.

"I didn't feel much like watching the movie." Derek replied.

"Huh. So you and Alex are good friends?" I said, continuing to walk.

"Yeah, we've known each other for years," he said, falling into step with me.

"That's cool."

"Mm-hmm. So are you sure you're okay?"

"This is the third time that I'm going to have to say "yes, I'm fine"."

Derek chuckled.

"Why do you keep asking me that?"

"Because I like you and I want to make sure that you're okay."

That threw me for a second, but I quickly got my senses back. "You've hardly talked to me, how can you like me already?"

"I dunno. I just do," he shrugged.

"Oh that's very specific." I scoffed, a part of me hoping that he would go into detail because I certainly couldn't find any reasonably good qualities about myself.

Derek just smiled.

"So…" I trailed off, trying to think of the best way to phrase my question.

"So what?" Derek asked, his smile gone. He was now curious.

"So…in what way do you like me?" I asked. It would be bad if he liked me more than a friend.

He smiled sheepishly, "I like you as a friend. But the more time I spend with you the more I like you."

Oh great. This isn't going to end well.

"You don't really even know me."

"I'd like to get to know you better, give me a chance. Please?"

"You've got me confused, now. Are you asking me out now?"

"Depends, are you going to say "yes"?"

This could not be happening. He was flirting with me. "I'm gonna have to say "no"." I said. I didn't want to be in a relationship (with the exception of Alex, but that was just the magic of imprinting talking).

"Then no, I'm not asking you out," he said, a smile playing at his lips. I was relieved to see that my rejection hadn't hurt him. "So what's up with the fever, Leah?"

Dammit. I wonder if he would have asked still if I had said 'yes'. "It's normal."

"No it's not," he scoffed.

"For me it is; I'm always at a warm temperature."

"You mean to tell me that you're always over a hundred degrees?"

"Uh, yeah. You could check my temperature every day and it'll never change."

"I'll hold you to that."

"Huh?"

"I'll check your temperature everyday."

"You've _got_ to be kidding me."

"Do I look like I'm kidding?"

No, he didn't look like he was kidding. He looked completely serious, except for the smile in the corner of his mouth -but that was probably because of my reaction. "Derek, I wasn't serious about the whole checking my temperature thing."

"Then you shouldn't have suggested it," he said with a smirk. He knew he had won.

I sighed. "What is the point of all of this?" I asked, my emotions all jumbled up.

"What do you mean?" he asked, his brow knitted together in confusion.

"Am I some kind of mystery to you or something, is that why you're trying to figure me out? Are you going to send me to a group of scientists when you find that my temperature is abnormal all of the time? What is the point of all of this?" I asked, my emotions in turmoil. I couldn't decide if I was hurt by this or scared. For all I knew, he wasn't interested in being my friend. Maybe he only wanted to get close to me so he could learn my secrets.

Derek frowned. His brown eyes got darker. "Did you not hear a word I've said to you? I like you, Leah, and I want to make sure that you're okay. I'm _concerned_ about you."

My throat tightened. I halted, he did too. "Stop being concerned; I don't need it, and I don't want it. I'm perfectly capable of handling myself." I said in a cold tone. I saw the hurt in his eyes, he was vulnerable; I had to make my next words count so he won't speak to me again. "I don't trust you, Derek. Please leave me alone. Go finish watching Van Helsing with Alex and Rachel."

"I can't earn your trust if you don't let me be around you," he replied softly, looking down at the ground.

I sighed. A part of me felt guilty for treating Derek like this. The other half thought that it was better to keep him away. "Why is my temperature so important?"

"Because a temperature around a hundred and six can cause brain damage or fatality."

I rolled my eyes -I couldn't help it. My temperature was one-o-eight and has been for years. Werewolves don't follow the same rules that normal humans do. "Last week I had a so called fever and yet I'm still alive today. I think I'm okay, and I believe I already told you this.

"Are you admitting that you have a fever?"

"God, Derek! Get off of my back about the fever thing, alright? I said I'm fine. How many times do I have to tell you that before you understand?" My frame began to shake.

He pursed his lips.

I waited for him to leave, but he didn't. He stayed put. Fine, let him be that way. I began to walk away, the shaking died. That was close, too close. I took a deep breath to ease my nerves. I heard him following me. Didn't this guy ever give up? I ignored him and kept walking, hoping that he would just go away.

After ten minutes of walking, I was nearly at the school and he was still following me.

I stopped and turned to face him, "What?"

"Leah, I really want you to trust me."

"Stalking me isn't going to help." I said sourly.

The corner of his mouth twitched; he almost smiled. "I was thinking that maybe your past was stopping you from trusting me, and if that was the case, then I wanted to let you know that I don't ever want to hurt you and I want you to trust me when I say that."

"You're stubborn aren't you?" I asked, beginning to feel emotionally tired.

"You are too," he smiled.

"Thanks." I rolled my eyes.

"So is it your past?"

I looked away from him. "Yeah, it's my past."

"Is that why your jaw was broken?"

"Excuse me?"

"You have elastic bands, I know they're not braces."

"My jaw and my trust in people have nothing to do with each other." Although it was a little traumatic when Sam did break it.

"How did you break your jaw?"

I didn't want to say 'none of your business' because he would assume that I was lying. I lied anyway, "Car accident." I then remembered my previous lie about how my car was at home broken, it all actually made sense.

"How did that happen?"

"I was rear ended and I don't have airbags in my car, so my jaw hit the steering wheel."

"Besides your jaw, you weren't too badly hurt, were you?"

"Nah, I wasn't hurt all that badly."

"So how long have you had your jaw wired?"

Crap. I didn't know how long it needed to be there, I assumed that Carlisle would just tell me when I could have them taken off, so I never worried about that. "Uh, almost five weeks." I guessed that would be an adequate amount of time.

"Do you know when you're getting them off?"

"Um, in a couple of weeks."

"So your car's been broken for five weeks?"

Double crap. "I'm not the richest person."

"How did you drive up here?"

"My mom dropped me off."

"Huh." he said, biting his lip.

"What?"

"You live with your mom?" he asked. I could tell he was trying not to laugh at me.

"I'm not even twenty-three yet, give me a break."

"When's your birthday?"

I pursed my lips. Next week was my birthday, I had completely forgotten. There wasn't going to be cake at Emily's house. There wasn't going to be any of those ridiculous cards. There wasn't going to be any family.

"Leah?" he asked, his tone full of concern. There must have been some kind of expression on my face, because he really did look worried.

"What?" I asked, my voice cracking. I averted my eyes from him.

"Did you want a hug?" he asked.

Yes, I wanted a hug. I wanted someone to tell me that everything would be okay. "Nah, I'm good."

Derek stared at me for a moment and then pulled me into a hug anyways. I didn't bother pushing him away because I suddenly didn't care. I felt lonely and his arms around me were easing the pain. I didn't hug him back -I wasn't capable- but he didn't seem to mind.

After a few seconds, I was able to put my guard back up. I stepped out of his arms. "Don't ever hug me again."

He just smiled, knowing that for a few seconds I hadn't minded.

"I'm not big on hugs." I explained.

"How about a kiss?"

I knew he was just trying to lighten up the mood, but I still gave him a good smack in the bicep.

"Ow!" he said, clutching his arm with his hand. "Damn, Leah, you didn't have to hit me that hard!"

Maybe I did hit him a _little_ too hard. It's an easy mistake to make with werewolf strength.

**-Next day-**

**-Alex- (A/N: Yay! The first time it goes into his point of view!)**

I pulled unlocked the door and entered my apartment, with Derek following behind me; I heard him close the door. I set my book bag on the oak table and then headed over to the fridge.

"You want anything?" I asked him as I open the fridge.

"Do you still have any of that cream soda left?" Derek asked, the direction of his voice suggested that he was sitting at the table.

"No, Rachel and I finished that up a couple of days ago."

"Darn. What about the cherry coke?"

"Mmm, there's a little bit left. About half a glass."

"You suck."

I laughed. "There's always water, you know."

"Fine. I'll take water then."

"No ice?"

"Nope."

"Figures." I open up the cabinet above the counter and pull out two glasses and fill them both up with water -no ice. Neither of us liked our drinks with ice. I walk over to the table and set it down near him. "So which essay are you going to start on first?" I questioned, eyeing all of the books he spread across the table.

"Biology," he answered, raising the glass to his lips to take a sip. He winced.

"What's wrong?"

"Ah, whenever I use my arm it hurts."

"What did you do to it?" I asked, taking a sip of water.

"More like what Leah did to it. Ow."

"Oh jeez, what did you say to her?" I set the glass down and rested my hand my putting my thumb through my belt loop.

"Just flirting."

I rolled my eyes. "You deserved it then, knowing you, you crossed the line."

"I was being harmless. She was the one that punched me in the arm." Derek complained rolling up his sleeve -wincing as he did so-. On his bicep was a big black and purple bruise the size of a fist. It looked pretty painful.

"Ouch, you must have said something awful."

"She said that she wasn't a hugging kind of person and I asked her about a kiss and she punched me."

"You're lucky she didn't punch you in the face." I chuckled, taking a seat.

"Was what I said really all that bad?"

"No, but I bet you were bothering the hell out of her before that."

Derek shrugged. Yep, he bothered her alright. "So I guess Leah going to get the metal in her mouth off in a couple of weeks."

"A couple of weeks?" Wasn't that too soon to get those off?

"Yeah, she's had them on for about five already."

I took a sip of my water. No, Leah didn't have it on for five weeks. When I first met her she was perfectly fine. "Did you ever find out what injured her jaw?"

"Car accident."

"Huh, that sucks." It sucks to be lied to.

Derek nodded. "So what's your topic going to be about?" he gestured to my English notes.

"Legends."

"Dude, you're addicted to legends. Don't you think you're a little too old for story time?"

I reached over and lightly punched his bicep.

"Ow! Fuck, that hurt!" he cried out, gently placing a hand on his bruise to protect it from further damage.

I shrugged. He should have known better than to diss me.

When Derek calmed down, which took about half a minute, he asked, "So what legend?"

"Mmm…the Quileute legend."

"I don't think you've told me about that one."

"I think it's the most interesting."

"And you've never told me because?"

"I thought you were too old for story time." I said coolly.

Derek rolled his eyes. "Just tell me."

I took a deep breath and began to tell one of my favorite stories.

* * *

**-Dramatic music starts to play- lol. I made sure this chapter was nice and long for you Bible Chick. Lol. ****Please read "Reflections in the Silence" and "A Bond You Can't Break"!!**


	10. Quileute Legends

**This is just a review of the Quileute legends, in case you forgot them. :) **

**Disclaimer: All of the characters from the Twilight series belong to Stephenie Meyer. ****The Quileute Legends are also by Stephenie Meyer and are from **_**Eclipse.**_

* * *

**-Quileute Legends-**

_Spirit Warrior Intro, pg 244_:

The Quileutes have been small people from the beginning. And we are a small people still, but we have never disappeared. This is because there has always been magic in our blood. It wasn't always the magic of shape-shifting -that came later. First, we were the spirit warriors.

_The Beginning of the Spirit Warriors, pg 244_:

In the beginning, the tribe settled in this harbor and became skilled ship builders and fisherman. But the tribe was small, and the harbor was rich in fish. There were others who coveted out land, and we were too small to hold it. A larger tribe moved against us, and we took to our ships to escape them. Kaheleha was not the first spirit warrior, but we do not remember the stories that came before his. We do not remember who was the first to discover this power, or how it had been used before this crisis.

Kaheleha was the first great Spirit Chief in our history. In this emergency, Kaheleha used the magic to defend our land. He and all his warriors left the ship -not their bodies, but their spirits. Their women watched over the bodies and the waves, and the men took their spirits back to our harbor. They could not physically touch the enemy tribe, but they had other ways. The stories tell us that they could blow fierce winds into their enemy's camps; they could make great a great screaming wind that terrified their foes. The stories tell us that the animals could see the spirit warriors and understand them; the animals would do their bidding.

Kaheleha took his spirit army and wreaked havoc on the intruders. This invading tribe had packs of big, thick furred dogs that they used to pull their sleds in the frozen north. The spirit warriors turned the dogs against their masters and then brought a mighty infestation of bats up from the cliff caverns. They used the screaming wind to aid the dogs in confusing the men. The dogs and bats won. The survivors scattered, calling our harbor a cursed place. The dogs ran wild when the spirit warriors released them. The Quileutes returned to their bodies and their wives, victorious.

The other nearby tribes, the Hohs and the Makahs, made treaties with the Quileutes. They wanted nothing to do with our magic. We lived in peace with them. When an enemy cam against us, the spirit warriors would drive them off.

_Taha Aki & Utlapa, pg 246-251_:

Generations passed. Then came the last great Spirit Chief, Taha Aki. He was known for his wisdom, and for being a man of peace. The people lived well and content in his care. But there was one man, Utlapa, who was not content. Utlapa was one of Chief Taha Aki's strongest spirit warriors -a powerful man, but a grasping man, too. He thought the people should use their magic to expand their lands, to enslave the Hohs and Makahs and build an empire.

Now, when the spirit warriors were in their spirit selves, they knew each other's thoughts. Taha Aki saw what Utlapa dreamed, and was angry with Utlapa. Utlapa was commanded to leave the people, and never use his spirit self again. Utlapa was a strong man, but the chief's warriors outnumbered him. He had no choice but to leave. The furious outcast hid in the forest nearby, waiting for a chance to get revenge against the chief.

Even in times of peace, the Spirit Chief was vigilant in protecting his people. Often, he would go to a sacred, secret place in the mountains. He would leave his body behind and sweep through the forests and along the coast, making sure that no threat approached.

One day when Taha Aki left to perform his duty, Utlapa followed. At first, Utlapa simply planned to kill the chief, but his plan had its drawbacks. Surely the spirit warriors would seek to destroy him, and they could follow faster than he could escape. As he hid in the rocks and watched the chief prepare to leave his body, another plan occurred to him.

Taha Aki left his body in the secret place and flew with the winds to keep watch over his people. Utlapa waited until he was sure that the chief had traveled some distance with his spirit self. Taha Aki knew the instant that Utlapa had joined him in the spirit world, and he also knew Utlapa's murderous plan. He raced back to his secret place, but even the winds weren't fast enough to save him. When he returned, his body was already gone. Utlapa's body lay abandoned, but Utlapa had not left Taha Aki with an escape -he had cut his own body's throat with Taha Aki's hands.

Taha Aki followed his body down the mountain. He screamed at Utlapa, but Utlapa ignored him as if he were mere wind. Taha Aki watched in despair as Utlapa took his place as chief of the Quileutes. For a few weeks, Utlapa did nothing but make sure that everyone believed he was Taha Aki. Then the changes began -Utlapa's first edict was to forbid any warrior to enter the spirit world. He claimed that he had a vision of danger, but really he was afraid.

He knew that Taha Aki would be waiting for the chance to tell his story. Utlapa was also afraid to enter the spirit world himself, knowing that Taha Aki would quickly claim his body. SO his dreams of conquest with a spirit warrior army were impossible, and he sought to content himself with ruling over the tribe. He became a burden -seeking privileges that Taha Aki never requested, refusing to work alongside his warriors, taking a young second wife and then a third, though Taha Aki's wife lived on -something unheard of in the tribe. Taha Aki watched in helpless fury.

Eventually, Taha Aki tried to kill his body to save the tribe from Utlapa's excesses. He brought a fierce wolf down from the mountains, but Utlapa hid behind his warriors. When the wolf killed a young man who was protecting the false chief, Taha Aki felt horrible grief. He ordered the wolf away.

All of the stories tell us that it was no easy thing to be a spirit warrior. It was more frightening than exhilarating to be freed from one's body. This is why they only used their magic in times of need. The chief's solitary journeys to keep watch were a burden and a sacrifice. Being bodiless was disorienting, uncomfortable, horrifying. Taha Aki had been away from his body for so long at this point he was in agony. He felt that he was doomed -never to cross over to the final land where his ancestors awaited, stuck in this tortuous nothingness forever.

The great wolf followed Taha Aki's spirit as he twisted and writhed in agony through the woods. The wolf was very large for its kind, and beautiful. Taha Aki was suddenly jealous of the dumb animal. At least it had a body. At least it had a life. Even life as an animal would be better than this horrible empty consciousness. And then Taha Aki had the idea that changed us all. He asked for the great wolf to make room for him, to share. The wolf complied. Taha Aki entered the wolf's body with relief and gratitude. It was not his human body, but it was better than living in a void of the spirit world.

As one, the man and the wolf returned to the village on the harbor. The people ran in fear, shouting for the warriors to come. The warriors ran to meet the wolf with their spears. Utlapa, of course, stayed safely hidden. Taha Aki did not attack his warriors. He retreated slowly from them, speaking with his eyes and trying to yelp songs of his people. The warriors began to realize that the wolf was no ordinary animal, that there was a spirit influencing it. One older warrior, a man named Yut, decided to disobey the false chief's order and try to communicate with the wolf.

As soon as Yut crossed into the spirit world, Taha Aki left the wolf -the animal waited tamely for his return- to speak with him. Yut gathered the truth in an instant, and welcomed his true chief home. At this time, Utlapa came to see if the wolf had been defeated. When he saw Yut lying lifeless on the ground, surrounded by protective warriors, he realized what was happening. He drew his knife and raced forward to kill Yut before he could return to his body. "Traitor," he screamed, and the warriors did not know what to do. The chief had forbidden spirit journeys, and it was the chief's decision how to punish those who disobeyed.

Yut jumped back into his body, but Utlapa had his knife at his throat and a hand covering his mouth. Taha Aki's body was strong, and Yut was weak with age. Yut could not even say one word to warn the others before Utlapa silenced him forever. Taha Aki watched as Yut's spirit slipped away to the final lands that were barred from Taha Aki for all eternity. He felt a great rage, more powerful than anything he'd ever felt before. He entered the big wolf again, meaning to rip Utlapa's throat out. But, as he joined the wolf, the greatest magic happened.

Taha Aki's anger was the anger of a man. The love he had for his people and the hatred he had for their oppressor were too vast for the wolf's body, too human. The wolf shuddered, and -before the eyes of the shocked warriors and Utlapa- transformed into a man.

The new man did not look like Taha Aki's body. He was far more glorious. He was the flesh interpretation of Taha Aki's spirit. The warriors recognized him at once, though, for they had flown with Taha Aki's spirit. Utlapa tried to run, but Taha Aki had the strength of the wolf in his new body. He caught the thief and crushed the spirit from him before he could jump out of the stolen body.

The people rejoiced when they understood what had happened. Taha Aki quickly set everything right, working again with his people and giving the young wives back to their families. The only change he kept in place was the end of spirit travels. He knew that it was too dangerous now that the idea of stealing a life was there. The spirit warriors were no more.

_The magic passed on, pg 251_:

From that point on, Taha Aki was more than either wolf or man. They called him Taha Aki the Great Wolf, or Taha Aki the Spirit Man. He led the tribe for many, many years, for he did not age. When danger threatened, he would resume his wolf-self to fight or frighten the enemy. The people dwelt in peace. Taha Aki fathered many sons, and some of these found that, after they had reached a certain age of manhood, they, too, could transform into wolves. The wolves were all different, because they were spirit wolves, and reflected the man they were inside.

Some of the sons became warriors like Taha Aki, and they no longer aged. Others, who did not like the transformation, refused to join the pack of wolf-men. These began to age again, and the tribe discovered that the wolf-men could grow old like anyone else if they gave up their spirit wolves. Taha Aki had lived the span of three old men's lives. He had married a third wife after the deaths of the first two, and found in her was something else. He decided to give up his spirit wolf so that he would die when she did. That is how the magic came to us, but it is not the end of the story…

_The Third Wife's Intro, pg 252_:

That was the story of the spirit warriors. This is the story of the third wife's sacrifice.

_The Third Wife's Sacrifice, pg 252-259_:

Many years after Taha Aki gave up his spirit wolf, when he was an old man, trouble began in the north, with the Makahs. Several young women of their tribe had disappeared, and they blamed it on the neighboring wolves, who they feared and mistrusted. The wolf men could still read each other's thoughts while they were in wolf forms, just like their ancestors had while in their spirit forms. They knew that none of their number was to blame. Taha Aki tried to pacify the Makah chief, but there was too much fear. Taha Aki did not want to have a war on his hands. He was no longer a warrior to lead his people. He charged his oldest son, Taha Wi, with finding the true culprit before hostilities began.

Taha Wi led five other wolves in his pack on a search through the mountains, looking for any evidence of the missing Makahs. They cam across something they had never countered before -a strange, sweet scent in the forest that burned their noses to the point of pain. They did not know what creature would leave such a scent, but they followed it. They found faint traces of human scent, and human blood, along the trail. They were sure this was the enemy they were searching for. The journey took them so far north that Taha Wi sent half the pack, the younger ones, back to the harbor to report to Taha Aki. Taha Wi and his two brothers did not return.

The younger brothers searched for their elders, but only found silence. Taha Aki mourned for his sons. He wished to avenge his sons' death, but he was old. He went to the Makah chief in his mourning clothes and told him what had happened. The Makah chief believed his grief, and the tensions ended between the tribes.

A year later, two Makah maidens disappeared from their homes on the same night. The Makahs called on the Quileute wolves at once, who found the same sweet stink all through the Makah village. The wolves went on the hunt again.

Only one came back. He was Yaha Uta, the oldest son of Taha Aki's third wife, and the youngest in the pack. He brought something with him that had never been seen in all days of the Quileutes -a strange, cold, stony corpse that he carried in pieces. All who were of Taha Aki's blood, even those who had never been wolves could smell the piercing smell of the dead creature. This was the enemy of the Makahs.

Yaha Uta described what had happened: he and his brothers had found the creature, who looked like a man but was hard as a granite rock, with the two Makah daughters. One girl was already dead, white and bloodless on the ground. The other was in the creature's arms, his mouth at her throat. She may have been alive when they cam upon the hideous scene, but the creature quickly snapped her neck and tossed her lifeless body to the ground when they approached. His white lips were covered in her blood, and his eyes glowed red.

Yaha Uta described the fierce strength and speed of the creature. One of his brothers quickly became victim when he underestimated that strength. The creature ripped him apart like a doll. Yaha Uta and his other brother were more wary. They worked together, coming at the creature from the sides, outmaneuvering it. They had to reach the very limits of their wolf strength and speed, something that had never been tested before. The creature was hard as stone and cold as ice. They found that only their teeth could damage it. They began to rip small pieces of the creature apart while it fought them.

But the creature leaned quickly, and was matching their maneuvers. It got its hands on Yaha Uta's brother. Yaha Uta found an opening on the creature's throat, and he lunged. His teeth tore the head off of the creature, but the hands still continued to mangle his brother. Yaha Uta ripped the creature into unrecognizable chunks, tearing pieces apart in a desperate attempt to save his brother. He was too late, but, in the end, the creature was destroyed.

Or so they thought. Yaha Uta laid the reeking remains out to be examined by the elders. One severed hand lay beside a piece of the creature's granite arm. The two pieces touched when the elders poked them with sticks, and the hand reached out towards the arm piece trying to reassemble itself. Horrified, the elders set fire to the remains. A great cloud of choking, vile smoke polluted the air. When there was nothing left but ashes, they separated the ashes into many small bags and spread them far and wide -some in the ocean, some in the forest, some in the cliff caverns. Taha Aki wore one bag around his neck, so he would be warned if the creature ever tried to put himself together again.

They called it The Cold One, the Blood Drinker, and lived in fear that it was not alone. They only had one wolf protector left, young Yaha Uta. They did not have long to wait. The creature had a mate, another blood drinker, who came to the Quileutes seeking revenge.

The stories say that the Cold Woman was the most beautiful thing human eyes had ever seen. She looked like the goddess of dawn when she entered the village that morning the sun was shining for once, and it glittered off of her white skin and lit the golden hair that flowed down to her knees. Her face was magical in its beauty, her eyes black in her white face. Some fell to their knees to worship her. She asked something in a high, piercing voice, in a language that no one had ever heard. The people were dumbfounded, not knowing how to answer her. There was none of Taha Aki's blood among the witnesses but one small boy. He clung to his mother and screamed that the smell was hurting his nose. One of the elders, on his way to the council, heard the boy and realized what had come among them. He yelled for the people to run. She killed him first.

There were twenty witnesses to the Cold Woman's first approach. Two survived, only because she grew distracted by the blood, and paused to sate her thirst. They ran to Taha Aki, who sat in counsel with the other elders, his sons, and his third wife. Yaha Uta transformed into his spirit wolf as soon as he heard the news. He went to destroy the blood drinker alone. Taha Aki, his third wife, and his elders followed behind him.

At first, they could not find the creature, only the evidence of her attack. Bodies lay broken, a few drained of blood, strewn across the road where she'd appeared. Then they heard the screams and hurried to the harbor. A handful of Quileutes had run to the ships for refuge. She swam after them like a shark, and broke the bow of their boat with her incredible strength. When the ship sank, she caught those trying to swim away and broken them, too.

She saw the great wolf on the shore, and she forgot the fleeing swimmers. She swam so fast she was a blur and came, dripping and glorious, to stand before Yaha Uta. She pointed at him with one white finger and asked another incomprehensible question. Yaha Uta waited. It was a close fight. She was not the warrior her mate had bee. But Yaha Uta was alone -there was no one to distract her fury from him. When Yaha Uta lost, Taha Aki screamed in defiance. He limped forward and shifted into an ancient, white muzzled wolf. The wolf was old, but this was Taha Aki the Spirit Man, and his rage made him strong. The fight began again.

Taha Aki's third wife had just seen her son die before her. Now her husband fought, and she had no hope that he could win. She'd heard every word the witnesses to the slaughter had told the council. She'd heard the story of Yaha Uta's first victory, and knew that his brother's diversion had saved him. The third wife grabbed a knife from the belt of one of the sons who stood beside her. They were all young sons, not yet men, and she knew they would die when their father failed.

The third wife ran towards the Cold Woman with the dagger raised high. The Cold Woman smiled, barely distracted from her fight with the old wolf. She had no fear of the weak human woman or the knife that would not even scratch her skin, and she was about to deliver the deathblow to Taha Aki.

And then the third wife did something the Cold Woman did not expect. She fell to her knees at the blood drinker's feet and plunged the knife into her own heart. Blood spurted through the third wife's fingers and splashed against the Cold Woman. The blood drinker could not resist the lure of fresh blood leaving the third wife's body. Instinctively, she turned to the dying woman, for one second entirely consumed by thirst.

Taha Aki's teeth closed around her neck. That was not the end of the fight, but Taha Aki was not alone now. Watching their mother die, two young sons felt such rage that they sprang forth as their spirit wolves, though they were not yet men. With their father, they finished off the creature.

Taha Aki never rejoined the tribe. He never changed back to a man again. He lay for one day beside the body of the third wife, growling whenever anyone tried to touch her, and then he went into the forest and never returned. Trouble with the cold ones were rare from that time on. Taha Aki's sons guarded the tribe until their sons were old enough to take their places. There were never more than three wolves at a time. It was enough. Occasionally a blood drinker would come through these lands, but they were taken by surprise, not expecting the wolves. Sometimes a wolf would die, but never were they decimated again like that first time. They'd learned how to fight the cold ones, and they passed the knowledge on, wolf mind to wolf mind, spirit to spirit, father to son.

_The Cullens, pg 259_:

Time passed, and the descendants of Taha Aki no longer became wolves when they reached manhood. Only in a great while, if a cold one was near, would the wolves return. The cold ones always came in ones and twos, and the pack stayed small.

A bigger coven came, and your own great-grandfathers prepared to fight them off. But the leader spoke to Ephraim Black as if he were a man, and promised not to harm the Quileutes. His strange yellow eyes gave some proof to his claim that they were not the same as other blood drinkers. The wolves were outnumbered; there was no need for the cold ones to offer a treaty when they could have won the fight. Ephraim accepted. They've stayed true to their side, thought their presence does tend to draw in others.

And their numbers have forced a larger pack than the tribe has ever seen. Except, of course, in Taha Aki's time. And so the sons of our tribe again carry the burden and share the sacrifice their fathers endured before them.

* * *

**(A/N: Hopefully, typing up the legends wasn't a waste. I know that the odds are that you aren't going to get up and look at your copy of **_**Eclipse**_**. Lol. Nevertheless, I hope you enjoyed it!! And I am soooo sorry for not updating sooner!! I dedicate this chapter to Sakamoto Michiko for telling me to update!! Thank you so much Smitteh!)**

**The fanfic begins **

**-Next day-**

**-Alex-**

My elbow sat on the wooden desk, with my forehead resting against the palm of my hand. I stared at the computer screen with a frown. I liked telling stories, but I detested writing about them and my thoughts. I never had been good at writing. I always had to check my grammar, but at least my spelling was okay. I always had to use synonyms -this was college and teachers don't bother reading crappy papers- and I always had to rewrite. Irritation swirled around in my system, giving me an urge to just delete it and turn off my laptop.

All of a sudden, upbeat music started playing from my pocket. I quickly grabbed my cell phone and flipped it open; eager to distract myself from my paper.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Alex," said a female voice from the other end. Guilt tore at my insides. Leah sounded unsure. She was no longer comfortable with me; she was probably calling me for Rachel.

I pushed my guilt aside. "Hey, what's up?" I asked casually, as my heart went into a ragged rhythm.

"Are you busy?" she asked, sounding hesitant.

Guilt tore at me again. Then depression settled on me; I had this stupid paper to type. I wouldn't be able to hang out with her. Although the time together was crucial for our friendship; I wanted to show her that she could trust me. That she wouldn't have to lie to me like she had done so to Derek. "Yeah, I'm writing this paper about the Quileute legends," my tone exposed my dislike of writing.

There was no reaction on the other line.

I waited a few seconds, and then a few more seconds, until I finally asked, "Leah?"

"Yeah?" she answered, sounding breathless.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm just a little surprised. Um, La Push is a small town; I figured that you would choose a place better known to write a paper about."

"Nah, people from my class probably have to boring same stuff typed up. The teacher might be able to grade mine decently if he's not half asleep when he's reading it."

"They'll certainly revive him from his boredom." Leah said, her voice sounded forcefully light. She even laughed.

I went along with her tone, pretending that I didn't hear. "Yeah, he's looking pretty old too. Hopefully it doesn't revive him too much -I don't want the excitement to rush his heart."

"Mmm, yeah." Leah replied sounding distracted. "So where did you hear the Quileute legends from?" Her tone made it sound as if the answer to her question was a situation concerning life or death.

"My mom."

She didn't reply, her silence told me that she wanted more information.

"My mom was friends with a woman named Sarah Black. They went to high school together. Sarah told my mom the legends on Halloween years ago; I was pretty young back then. Anyways, my mom was thrilled and told me, knowing that I loved stories."

Leah was silent again, but I sensed that it was from shock.

"Leah?" I asked, wanting her to stay on planet Earth.

"Huh? Sorry. I was just…" she trailed off, looking for the right word. "Surprised, I guess. I'm sort of friends with Sarah's son."

"You're friends with Jacob?"

"Yeah," she answered, sounding unsure of her own words.

"Small world." I said, chuckling. "How is he?"

"Um, he's alright, I guess. He's been having it rough the past few years."

I remained silent, urging her with my quiet to continue.

"Girl issues."

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. Is everything alright now?"

"He's been learning to get over her."

So the girl was already gone. Poor Jacob. "What about Rachel and Rebecca? How are they?"

"Er, Rebecca got married -she lives in Hawaii now. And Rachel is close to graduating at Washington State -she had gotten a scholarship."

"Wow, time flies. How old is Jacob now? Nineteen?"

"He'll be twenty in a couple of months."

"I haven't seen him since Sarah's funeral…" I said, mostly talking to myself, getting lost in old memories.

Leah let me think without interruptions for a minute or two until she asked, "Did you want any help on that paper? I'm sure that I could fill in any missing information."

"Sounds great." I said. I was sure to get a hundred percent on my paper now. Leah could give me the details that I had forgotten. Her coming over would also do our friendship some good. "I'll give you the directions to my apartment."

Leah didn't respond right away; she did though after ten seconds. "Maybe you should let Rachel know…"

"Why?" I asked, not seeing her logic.

"I don't want to upset her."

That made me laugh, "Rachel is totally cool with us hanging out. Relax, Leah."

""Kay. So where's your apartment?"

I gave her the directions.

**-Leah-**

I said bye to Alex and shut my phone. Oh man, I was in deep. I would have to be extra careful not to do anything that would expose my being a werewolf, and keep a painfully respectable distance from Alex. Kissing him out of impulse would crash our friendship into the ground faster than the speed of light. Okay, maybe not that fast, but pretty damn fast. I flopped down on the couch and closed my eyes. I sat there for fifteen minutes and then got up. No one paid much attention to me as I strode down the hall and out of the building. I headed straight towards the woods. When I got there, I found some trails, and that made me nervous. A large wolf seen on campus would be _very_ bad.

Sadly, imprinting magic has side effects, such as loss of judgment, lustful thoughts, watery eyes -dripping may occur-, chest pains, dizziness, and headaches. Imprinting is not for you if you suffer from painful breakups, loss of social life, or any other related conditions. Talk to your vampire doctor about imprinting, he or she may be able to treat overdoses by sicking their coven on you. For more information, contact Taha Aki -the spirit that no one will believe you've ever met.

I sighed. I've been watching too much tv; I'll have to concentrate on homework from now on. I jogged off of the trail. When I was figured that I was far enough away from the trails, I took off my clothes and shoes. I tied my shoes together with the laces so I won't lose either. Heat raced the length of my spine and then spread to the tips of my fingers and toes. I dropped to my knees, my body trembling. My muscles stretched, my bones cracked, and light gray fur exploded from my skin. The process of phasing only took a second, and it was disorienting, as usual. I picked up my clothes -and my shoes- with my sharp teeth, since I didn't have my pouch with me. I ran. The speed was thrilling and fluid motions of my muscles felt good. The trees blurred as I lithely ran through the forest.

Before I knew it, I was knocking on Alex's door -a little muddy but fully clothed. I examined my nails as I waited. After ten seconds with no reply I knocked again. I waited a few more seconds and then pressed my ear against the metal door. I heard running water. Oh dear god, he was taking shower. I shook my head to keep my imagination in check. Imagining Alex in a towel would _not _help my self control. The water stopped. There were some rushed movements. Then there were footsteps nearing the door. I quickly pulled my ear away and began to examine my nails.

The door unlocked and opened; there stood Alex, gloriously in a towel. His hazel eyes met my brown ones. My breath caught in my throat, and butterflies swirled around in my stomach. Alex's lean muscle may not be as prominent as Sam's but it was _definitely_ there. The towel hung low, exposing his hip bones. The scent of his body wash and shampoo crashed into me; it mingled with his own, making the urge to pull him closer only more intense.

I shoved my hands in my jean pockets and plastered on a disapproving expression. "You should put clothes on before you answer the door."

"I didn't want to keep you out here," he said in a smooth voice, a pink tinge in his cheeks. Alex stepped aside for me to enter.

I walked in and paused to examine the place where Alex, my soul mate whether I liked it or not, lived. The carpet was a pacific blue, while the walls were a lighter shade. The living room held a three-cushion long couch; the material was a soft looking light gray. There was a glass coffee table in front of the couch only a foot and a half away. The curtains that hung in the window were a blue-gray color. Parallel to the couch was a fairly decent sized tv; it was sandwiched my two shelves of books and DVD's. The carpet turned to wood when the kitchen began. The kitchen had the usual; fridge, stove, sink, and countertop. The oak table also sat on the wood floor; covered in papers, books, and a laptop. Past the kitchen was a hallway; further down a door was open, and I assumed it was the bathroom because the carpet in front of the door was wet -trailing over to the front door. Beyond the door was a mystery, but I figured all that was left was Alex's bedroom.

I noticed that the laptop on the table was on and had a word document up. "How about I read your paper while you get dressed?"

Alex nodded. "Sounds like a plan."

I took a seat in front of the computer and tried not to stare at Alex's butt as he walked past. I tore my eyes away and began reading his paper. A few minutes later he came out wearing jeans -his butt still looked good- and a long sleeved shirt -lean muscle visible through the fabric-. His hair was still wet and disheveled.

"Alright, tell me how bad it is," he said, sounding almost serious.

I smiled, "I fixed your grammar for you, if that's what you mean."

"Sometimes commas and I just don't get along."

I chuckled. "Well, I hate to tell you this, but you forgot a few things."

"What things?"

"His name is Taha Aki, not Taki Aha."

"You mean was." Alex corrected, but seemed as if he was storing my words into a mental file cabinet.

I nodded in acknowledgement, and continued on. "You also only have the story of how werewolves came to be. You're missing a good piece of the legend."

"What am I missing?"

"The story of Taha Aki's third wife." I said. There was a slight breeze in the room suddenly, which gave me goosebumps; the windows weren't open. I hoped Taha Aki didn't mind if I told Alex Yuhi Ami's story.

"Never heard of it."

"I'm warning you, it's a sad story."

"Am I going to have to pull out the Kleenex?"

"I think you can handle it."

"Okay."

I took a deep breath and explained the Cold Woman and Yuhi Ami's sacrifice. After I was done speaking, there was a thoughtful silence.

"Wow." Alex said softly after a minute. His expression then turned curious, "So what was it that Taha Aki found in Yuhi Ami that he didn't find in his first two wives?"

I was amazed that Alex caught on to that missing detail. I swallowed trying to think of a good way to answer. "He found a more powerful love, she was his soul mate." I shrugged.

Alex nodded, thinking this over.

"I'm surprised Sarah didn't say tell your mom this story, it would have been perfect on Halloween night. With the vampires and all." I said lightly, wanting to get off of the subject.

Alex chuckled, "I'm not surprised. My mom is kinda squeamish about blood. A vampire story would be the last one she'd want to hear."

I had an urge to ask what doctor she went to, but resisted.

"What a sec, you said that the Cold Woman glittered? Are the legends suggesting that vampires sparkle?" he scoffed, a smile playing at his lips.

I just nodded.

"I think these Quileute people were high off of some kind of herb when they made up this story."

Thank Alex, for insulting my ancestors. I couldn't help but laugh though; the image of Taha Aki sniffing some herb was ludicrous. Impossible. I wiped at my eyes. "Alex!" I scolded, still laughing.

"Think about it though. The Quileute legends are about werewolves and vampires -somebody either had an extremely out of control imagination or help from a smoking herb."

"Well, whether they were sniffing things or not, you should probably type up what I told you while it's fresh in your mind." I said, now sober.

"Yeah," Alex sighed. We exchanged seats so he was at the computer. He typed for a minute and then remembered the traditional question that you're supposed to ask guests. "Oh, sorry, did you want anything? There's water, half a glass of cherry coke left, milk…" he trailed off thinking. "And food."

"I'm good." I'm starved, but I didn't want to eat all of Alex's food. I was totally capable of emptying his fridge and cabinets.

"Okay, but if you change your mind, feel free to eat or drink whatever," he said, looking at the screen, his fingers still typing.

I watched his fingers hit the keys on the keyboard with accuracy and speed. I was in awe; I haven't been on a computer since high school, so my typing certainly wouldn't be as fast. Well, maybe, but that would only be because I was cheating with my werewolf speed. I scooted my chair next to his so I could correct his grammar. I breathed in his scent. "New body wash?"

Alex stopped typing. "Huh?"

"Er, never mind."

"No, what did you say?"

"I was just wondering if you used a different body wash today." I said. I internally scowled; imprinting made it difficult to keep secrets.

"Yeah, it was on sale."

"Smells nice." The word 'nice' wasn't a strong enough adjective.

"Thanks."

"Mm-hmm."

Alex went back to typing. Other than the sound of keys being pressed, it was a comfortable silence. I felt perfectly at ease beside him; I never wanted to leave his side.

* * *

**Sorry, I know that the actual chapter portion wasn't very long, but I wanted to give it to you guys now since it has been a while since I've updated. ****Please review, July 11****th****, is my birthday and I would love to wake up tomorrow to a full inbox!!**


	11. Gotta Go

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters, Stephenie Meyer does. I also do not own anything concerning the McDonald's menu. **

**-Next day-**

**-Leah-**

"Stressed out" didn't even come close to comparing how I felt. I was curled up on the couch, trying to figure out my homework. I had already been sitting there for four hours, and I wasn't even done yet. Rachel only had two classes this morning -I had three- and was already finished; she was currently hanging out with either her friends or Alex. I didn't pry for any details. I closed the math book with a sigh, and set it down on the table. I couldn't handle any more time consuming calculations; I needed a break.

Hunger scratched at my insides. I bit my lip; it was tempting to empty out the refrigerator, but then what would I say to Rachel? _Yeah, some hungry person just strolled in and stole our food. What? Of course that isn't cake crumbs on my face. _I sighed again.

I hadn't been eating properly. I usually ate with Rachel, so I only ate as much as a normal person could eat. Nothing more and certainly nothing less. Normal-person portion size was like an extreme diet on werewolf terms. I looked down at my flat stomach; it had been flat before, so I couldn't tell if I had lost any weight or not. I got up off of the couch and grabbed a thin jacket that was hanging on the hook by the door. I shrugged it on; at least if it rained it would keep my clothes dry. I turned away from the coat hooks and entered my room. I grabbed my wallet off of my nightstand and shoved it into my back pocket.

I walked to McDonalds. It was only a half a mile away, so it wasn't like it was a big deal. I stood in line; the scent of fried food made my hunger pains increase and my mouth water. Finally, after a good five minutes, I was up to order.

"Hello," I said warmly to the girl behind the register. She looked tired. She smiled and asked me what I would like to order. I then began my long list, "I'd like three McChicken® sandwiches, two Double Quarter Pounders® with Cheese, two Big Macs®, a Filet-O-Fish®, um, two large fries -I'd like some ranch with that, two apple pies, four chocolate chip cookies, three large Coca-Colas® -no ice, and." I paused, thinking if there was anything else that I wanted. Of course, I wanted ice cream, but it would only melt. Maybe I should get something relatively healthy. Nah, I eat healthy food when I ate with Rachel; this was my reward meal for putting up with it for so long. "That's all. Did you get all that?"

The girl behind the register had an expression that told me, no, she had not gotten all of that. I repeated my order to her, only telling her the next item and how many I wanted after I had gotten a nod showing that she had it down on the register.

"Did you want it here or to go?"

"To go."

She nodded. "That'll be forty-three dollars and twenty-one cents."

Christ. I don't know how Mom managed to keep food in the fridge with Seth and I in the house; food was expensive. Eating out more than once a week was out of the question. I pulled out my wallet and handed her two twenties and a five.

She gave me the change and the receipt. "It'll take a few minutes," she told me. I nodded and moved down the counter, not wanting to be in the way. I tired to ignore the funny looks that people were giving me. A few of them glanced around, searching for anyone else that I might be with, in disbelief that I was going to eat all of that on my own. Ten minutes later and all of my food where in paper bags and my three Coke-Colas were sitting in a tray. I checked to make sure they had gotten everything. I reminded them that I had wanted some ranch dressing and was given three mini tubs.

I left McDonalds, anticipating where I was going to eat my food. I decided that the beach nearby the pier would be a nice place.

The familiar scent of salty water made me feel at ease, but also tense because it reminded me of the beaches at La Push. I couldn't help but compare the two places; La Push didn't have a pier with boats, while Port Angeles didn't have cliffs that could be used for recreational purposes. Port Angeles was noisy; in La Push, you only had to listen to the rhythm of the waves. Pain stabbed at my heart; La Push was better, no place in the world could replace it. La Push was home.

I shook my head to dislodge the pathetic thoughts from my brain. I sat down on the sandy beach and ate my unhealthy fried food. After eating, I felt much better. I wasn't hungry anymore; now I was in sweet satisfaction. I grabbed the paper bags, got up and threw them away in the closest trash can. I took off my shoes and socks and walked along the shoreline. I was the only one on the beach; it was chilly out and the clouds were dark. In the distance, at the pier, where people who were tying up their boats. Cold water reached my toes whenever the tide reached its full length. It wasn't really all that cold, but that was only because I was ridiculously hot. In temperature, I reminded myself, not wanting a huge ego to form.

"Leah," a familiar voice said from directly behind me.

I jumped away from him. My muscles were tense, coiled to spring. My heart was hammering against my chest and my throat was tight. "What do you want, Seth?" I asked through clenched teeth, although I was dreading to find out. What if Sam sent him here to tell me that I was not allowed to go to college anymore? My heart contracted painfully.

His face was a mask of nothingness. No emotions were portrayed on his face, except his eyes. His eyes were a dark brown, bordering black, and held an emotion that I couldn't place. All I knew was that it wasn't good. Seth swallowed, as if his next words were going to be difficult to voice. "Mom sent me here."

"What for?" I asked, barely audible.

He pulled something out of his cut-off jeans and handed it to me. It was an envelop. He tossed it to the ground at my feet, not wanting to get any closer than he had to. I took it off of the sand, never taking my eyes off of him. I straightened up and glanced at it; it had my name on it.

"What is it?"

"Open it," he said, his tone nearly a growl.

I inwardly flinched. I turned the letter over with shaking hands and opened it. It was a birthday card. I opened it and read it; it contained kind words that appeared to me as false and mocking. Only mom's signature was at the bottom. He hadn't even bothered to sign the damn card.

"My birthday isn't until next week." I reminded him, showing that I didn't understand why I was given this now.

Seth sighed, impatiently. "Mom asked Sam to let you onto the reservation on your birthday. She wasn't sure if you would even want to come or if you had any plans, so she wanted to give the card to you early."

"She could have mailed it." I whispered.

"She didn't want to _waste_ a stamp," he spat, looking away from me.

My throat tightened and a lump formed in my throat. "I guess she didn't mind wasting your time." I said, in defense mode.

Seth's face hardened, and his eyes met mine. "Are you going to come or what?" she asked, his tone harsh.

"Sam seriously agreed?" I asked, bewildered. Last time I checked, he wanted to kill me. I couldn't believe he granted my mom's request to let me onto the reservation. I had thought she was doing all of this anyways, despite what he said.

"On one condition," he said, the corner of his mouth pulling up. I shuddered, I had a bad feeling about this. "After the party is over, you have five minutes to get off of the reservation."

I nodded, averting my eyes to the sand. "I-I think that I can do that. I'll come." I still had too many loose ends that needed tying up.

"Are you going to bring your imprint?" he asked, his tone surprisingly kind.

I shook my head. "No, I can't get off of the reservation within five minutes with Alex around."

"So his name is Alex." Seth said, soaking in this new information.

"Yeah, his mom was friends with Jacob's mom."

I glanced up at Seth to see his reaction. He was surprised, his mask completely off. "Really?" he asked, eager for more information. Suddenly, he was the real Seth. My little brother. Not the clone that was created by my "betrayal".

I smiled a small smile, feeling as if a huge weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. "Yeah, apparently Sarah told his mom the some of the legends on Halloween one year. Then his mom told him, but she didn't get all of it because Sarah knew that the Cold Ones would really freak his mom out. His mom doesn't like blood, I guess." I said, laughing nervously.

"Does he know that the legends are real?" Seth whispered.

"No." I answered. I was pretty confident that he didn't know.

"Are you going to tell him?" he asked, his tone almost skeptical.

"Probably not." I shrugged.

Seth pursed his lips.

"What?" I asked, seeing his concerned face.

"There's something you aren't telling me."

I looked away from him. "I'm only Alex's friend, he has a girlfriend that he loves very much."

"Aw, Leah, I'm…so sorry," he said softly, his tone full of guilt. I looked up at him in shock. His expression was as full of guilt as his tone was. "I…I didn't know that you were having things so rough."

"Don't worry about it, Seth." I said, putting a hand on his shoulder. "I'm strong. I can handle it."

My words sounded like a lie, even to me.

**-Time skip: Leah's Birthday-**

**-Leah-**

I stood at the edge of the cliff, looking down into the dark water. Waves crashed into the jagged grey rocks, hiding them, and then crawled backwards, making them reappear; the cycle repeated. It was my birthday. I was twenty-three now. What was a twenty-three year old doing here?

Building up courage.

I was only welcomed here because mom had pleaded with Sam. As soon as the party was over, I would be titled a traitor again, and had only five minutes to leave the reservation. If I ran out of time…well, it wouldn't be so pretty. Seth may have softened up a bit, but I doubt the rest of the pack would be so easy. I took a deep breath. It would all be okay; I lied to myself, in hopes that I wouldn't feel so scared.

It was futile, I was terrified.

I didn't want to face the pack's hateful accusing glares. I didn't want to eat Emily's cooking that could have the possibility of being poisoned. I didn't want to see Sam, knowing that all of those years I hated him had been a waste.

I was now able to see that imprinting truly gave you no choice, but that you didn't _need_ the choice. You didn't _want _the choice. Sam still would have fallen in love with Emily, because they were perfect for each other. I would still have fallen in love with Alex…but I was sure that we weren't _soul mates_. Even though he made me feel complete and happy whenever I was around him; I didn't affect him the same way. Rachel was his other half. I was just the safety net, there in case he needed me to fall back on.

I wasn't _necessary_ like Rachel was. Like Emily was to Sam. My throat tightened and a bubble filled up my chest cavity, making me feel hollow and unable to breath right. Was it so wrong that I wanted to be needed, wanted, loved? Was it so wrong to be as selfish as to wish for that?

Maybe it was all wrong.

Maybe everything since freshman year has been karma getting back at me. Wanting to be needed, wanted, and loved by Sam had only caused me pain. Wanting to be needed, wanted, and loved by Alex will only cause me pain -_is _causing me pain.

I should just stop.

But how can I? Alex is my everything. I don't think I would survive if I lost everything -again.

I shook my head, in attempt to erase my negative thoughts. I had to pull myself together. I had to celebrate my birthday with my family. It wouldn't be the best, or even the most welcoming, but it was _something_. I was about to turn around and walk away from the cliffs edge to go home but my vibrating pocket halted me. I took out my phone, saw that it was Alex calling, and opened it up quickly.

"Hello?" I answered, and involuntary smile spreading across my face.

"My teacher said that he loved my essay! He said that it was the best one he's seen in years." Alex said, his tone light and happy.

"That's great, Alex!" I said, a bubble of warmth filled beneath my breastbone. Instantly, my mood matched his. I just needed Alex to be happy.

"Enough about me, what's going on with you?" he asked, always the gentleman.

"Nothing much, I was about to go home and celebrate my birthday with my family, but that can wait a few minutes."

"What? I can hardly hear you over the static. Is the wind blowing over there?" Alex asked, his volume a little louder.

I hadn't realized how windy it was. I glanced down and saw that my clothes where being blown forward, wavering in the air current. The wind was against my back, encouraging me to take a step forward. Fear grasped me, my stomach coiled into a tight spring when I saw that I was at the very edge.

"Alex, I-." 'gotta go' was never said.

A great gust of wind had rammed into me, pushing me over the edge. I screamed and my stomach jumped up into my throat. I was falling closer and closer to the cold water. I stared downwards, and suddenly felt stupid for being scared. It was _just_ water. I've gone cliff diving a dozen times, the only difference here was that it was by surprise. Air blew against my side, which I found strange because the only air that should be blowing at me should be coming from below. My body was moved to the right. The waves below receded, revealing sharp jagged rocks.

"Shit!" I cried out. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew that I was going to be late getting home.

It all happened in a split second, but the adrenaline in my system allowed me to catch everything simultaneously. My feet hit the smooth side of the rock, sliding down and entered the cold ocean; sending waves of pain up my legs. The upper half of my body automatically bent over to regain a sense of balance when my brain detected that my feet had hit a sold surface. Gravity and momentum pulled me downwards; my chest and abdomen crashed down onto the sharp points that stuck out from the top of the rock. The contact made a sick cracking sound. My hand released the cell phone from my grasp. My face came down and met the stone -another sick crack-; sending a splash of color before my eyes and then everything went black. My consciousness was barely present, but I was able to register that salty cold water had swept over me and that I was in pain. Then there was nothing.

* * *

**Shame on me for skipping nearly an entire week, but I had gotten impatient. I'm sorry. And I also apologize for the cliff hanger -literally-.**

* * *


	12. The Great Wolf's Betrayal

**I AM CHANGING THE ****RATING TO M****!! I'm sorry, but it has to change. This chapter gets a little…mature. For those, who didn't get my message, I hope you at least read this so you won't be too surprised. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from the Twilight series, they belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

* * *

_Gravity and momentum pulled me downwards; my chest and abdomen crashed down onto the sharp points that stuck out from the top of the rock. The contact made a sick cracking sound. My hand released the cell phone from my grasp. My face came down and met the stone -another sick crack-; sending a splash of color before my eyes and then everything went black. My consciousness was barely present, but I was able to register that salty cold water had swept over me and that I was in pain. Then there was nothing._

**-Leah-**

"Leah?" a familiar voice asked. "Leah, can you hear me? Oh god, guys, I think she's dead." The voice cracked near the end of the sentence.

"Don't say that!" another familiar voice growled, sounding more desperate than angry. Seth?

"Enough, you two," a third voice scolded. Sam, I recalled. "Jacob, call the doctor. Quil, go get your truck. Embry, Seth, how is she?"

"She has a heartbeat, but she's not breathing," the first voice, Embry, confirmed. "Her lips are still blue and her skin is almost a pale lilac. I think it's from lack of oxygen; she's probably full of water and blood."

"How are we going to get her breathing again in the state she's in?" asked the second voice, Seth. His tone was frustrated. A part of my brain registered this and felt bad that my little brother would soon witness my death.

Silence, everyone was thinking.

While they were quiet, the numb I was feeling was beginning to fade. At first, it started out as a trickle of pain; my abdomen, my chest, my head were the sources. As the seconds passed, the trickle of pain flowed in waves -a tsunami seemed would be a more accurate description. My body was on fire; scorching. I wanted to scream, but I found that I couldn't. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't move at all. My eyes wouldn't open. I could only lie on the sand in darkness and wait for my heart to beat its last beats.

"Hang her upside down, and let gravity drain all that out of her," suggested yet another familiar voice. Dread filled me. I was already hurting so badly, I was sure I would lose my sanity if I endured any more. I prayed that the idea wouldn't be carried out.

"Paul! Are you blind?! We can't do that!" another voice stepped in. What a relief.

"I don't see you coming up with any better ideas, Jared!"

"Carlisle, is there anything that we can do for her?" asked Sam. I wanted to scream at them not to touch me. To just leave me be. Or to shoot me. A bullet in my head sounded like a good idea; I just wanted the pain to go away.

Jacob repeated what he was told, "He thinks that we should wait for him. We could hurt her more if we try anything. He's going to bring some equipment over."

"And how long is that going to take?" Seth asked sharply. "She doesn't have a whole lot of time."

"Not long." Jacob said. "He says that whatever cuts she has, are probably already healing. Rinse away the blood and evaluate the remaining damage."

"Follow my lead." Sam ordered. I heard some ruffling of clothes, and then footsteps die away.

"Oh boy, Sam's lost it," said a voice, sounding younger than the others.

"Brady…" said another younger voice, his tone showing that now wasn't the time.

"He just took his pants off and ran away, what else am I supposed to say?"

"You didn't have to say anything." Collin said. There was a pause. "You see? He was just using his pants to collect water. C'mon Brady, we're supposed to follow his lead."

More rustling and footsteps…I could feel myself slipping back into unconsciousness again. Sounds died away. Numbness returned.

There was a gentle, warm, breeze against my arm. And then another. The breeze was blowing against me in a slow rhythm. It took me a minute to realize that it was someone breathing. I felt a little dumb, and a little irritated.

It took a few more seconds to remember the cliff and the rock. I wiggled my toes and a finger; I wasn't paralyzed, that was a plus. Now I was curious to who was breathing on me.

I opened my eyes, and saw that I was in a dimly lit room. I turned my head and saw Sam snoozing in a chair beside my bed. He had fallen over; his cheek rested against the mattress, the tip of his nose was only an inch away from my bicep. His hair had grown since I had last seen him; strands of onyx brushed his forehead. He had dark circles under his eyes from lack of sleep.

It was kind of a cute sight, seeing him sleep. He wasn't being an alpha, giving out orders. He wasn't being a husband, fussing over Emily. He wasn't being my ex, looking as guilty or murderous. He was simply Sam. A person that needed sleep too. It reminded me that he wasn't invincible and that if he did glare at me when he woke up, well, then I wouldn't drop dead from the intensity.

I sat up to look around the room better, causing my ribs to scream. I winced at the pain, but saw that there was no one else, just me and Sam. I looked down and saw that I had been covered in a dark blue sheet. I threw it off to make sure my legs looked okay. They were fine and my arms were fine; no scratches or bruises.

My t-shirt looked like it was Emily's; it was plain blue and it ended at my belly-button, leaving the skin above my low-rider shorts exposed. I pulled at the front of my shirt and looked down to see if I had any scars. Christ, I wasn't wearing a bra. What the hell happened to my bra? Dammit, that was one of my favorites! I sighed. Maybe it was in Emily's washer machine now.

There was a thin, jagged white line on my abdomen and another over my breastbone. The lines looked like they had been there for weeks, but I knew that being a werewolf meant that it hadn't been that long.

What time was it anyway? Outside of the window was dark. The digital clock on the nightstand told me that it was a quarter past eight pm. I inhaled deeply, in hopes of smelling something cooking -I was starved-, and started coughing. It felt like white-hot knives were going down my throat. I curled into a ball and didn't change position until the hacking fit was over.

"Leah?" Sam was awake now.

I coughed into my hand one last time, and then I looked at him. "Hmm?"

Sam was now sitting upright at the edge of his chair. "Take it easy. You broke four ribs, cracked two more, and punctured your right lung. Although, I think your lung is fine now. You also got yourself a concussion."

"Pain killer?" I asked, hoping for relief. I felt sore.

Sam frowned. "The doctor said that anything narcotic would depress the respirations."

I had no idea what that meant, only that it would affect my breathing. "Anything else I should know?"

"Non-steroidal anti inflammatory drugs are not an option either." Sam said. "They will prolong clotting time."

"Well, Doctor Sam, it's a good thing that I'm not bleeding anymore."

Sam smiled with laughter in his eyes.

My breathing hitched. He was wearing the smile that was only reserved for Emily. I blinked, positive that my eyes were playing tricks on me.

Sam moved to sit on my bed. There was no longer laughter in his eyes; they were intense, but warm. I knew the emotion in them; I had seen them countless times when he was looking at Emily. Sam didn't love me, so why was he looking at me like that? My heart throbbed, and it wasn't because of my previous fall.

It couldn't be -Sam's love for me couldn't be coming out now! Imprinting magic was much too strong, he loved Emily too much. I had to be hallucinating! I had to be dreaming! Sam wouldn't-.

Sam wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me to his warm body. "I thought you were going to die," he whispered in my ear, his lips brushing my skin.

My abdomen muscles coiled and my pulse began to race. I didn't know what to say, my mind had gone blank.

All of a sudden, I was on my back and Sam was hovering above me only an inch away. One of his legs were in between mine and his other leg rested on the outer side. His forearm was above my head, supporting his some of his weight. His opposite hand was cupping my face, his touch was gentle. My raw throat complained as my breathing picked up tempo. I stared up into his eyes, unable to believe that this was real.

Sam leaned in and kissed me. His lips moved desperate and hot against mine. Fire erupted in the pit of my stomach, and emotion swelled up in my chest. I kissed him back, my eyes sliding shut.

I knew this was wrong, but I couldn't remember why. I was under Sam's spell and I never wanted to be free from it.

Sam slid his hand down from my jaw, down my neck, down the valley between my breasts, down my flat stomach, and began playing with the hem of my shirt. My muscles had coiled tighter as soon as his hand had begun the travel downward. My hands grabbed a fistful of the material that covered the mattress. My chest was rising and falling quickly; my ribs and throat throbbed from the jagged breathing, but I could care less.

Sam moved his lips off of mine to explore; trailing kisses across my jaw and down my throat. His lips were scorching against my skin and his ragged breaths tickled. He then brought his lips back up to mine, and we fell back into synch. I brought my arms up and wrapped them around his neck, pulling him closer to me. Sam pressed himself against my body in response, and my ribs sent out waves of pain. I gasped.

He must have thought that my gasp was out of lust rather than pain; his lips crashed against mine with more force and his hand went beneath the fabric of my shirt. My heart was pounding in my ears as his hand made contact with my bare skin. Goosebumps appeared on my flesh, and my stomach dropped.

This wasn't right.

The pain of my ribs had dispersed the haze that Sam had created. My mind was clearing, and my morals were coming back to me. His fingers trailed upwards along the jagged line where my injury had been. I shuddered. His lips had dropped down onto my collar bone; with each kiss he planted, the further up his fingers wandered.

"I love you." Sam murmured against my skin. He kissed the base of my throat. "I love you, Yuhi Ami."

Time been brought to a halt. Tears sprung from my eyes, and my throat tightened. I couldn't speak. My arms slid from his neck, feeling as heavy as lead. It was as if my blood had been replaced with molasses, leaving me incapable of moving.

His hand cupped my breast, and a sob escaped my lips. Pain rattled through my rib cage at the jerking motion.

Suddenly, the bedroom door opened. Sam, no, Taha Aki looked up to see who had interrupted. Standing in the doorway were two silhouettes; one large one with a smaller one close behind. My nose recognized them before my eyes could; Seth and Emily. My eyes adjusted quickly and I was able to see their shocked faces. Seth's turned angry when he registered my tear filled eyes and hurt expression; his frame began to shake. Emily legs gave out from beneath her; she slumped to the ground, unable to take her eyes off of me and Taha Aki.

I opened my mouth wanting to explain the situation -that the man above me wasn't Sam- but all that came out was a quiet sob.

The sob was all that Seth needed.

He tackled Taha Aki clean off of me. The two were soaring for a split second until they hit the wall. They were covered in white dust from the broken wall. I sat up, perching myself at the edge of the bed, unsure if I should pull them apart.

"What the hell, Sam?!" Seth asked angrily, giving Taha Aki a solid punch to the gut.

I heard the air get knocked out of Taha Aki, but Sam's body wasn't weak, so he easily ignored it and aimed a fist at Seth's face. Seth moved to dodge, but wasn't quick enough to avoid the blow entirely. Seth got knocked back a bit from the force.

I heard a bunch of footsteps racing towards us from somewhere in the house. Emily choked out a sob.

"Stop it!" I pleaded. Taha Aki froze. Seth looked ready to continue. "Seth, don't." I said firmly. "Taha Aki, return Sam's body."

Seth looked at me as if I had gone to Crazy Land and had come back with a sex change.

Taha Aki looked as if I had stabbed him or something. His face reflected guilt, sadness, and pain -it was unbearable. "I am so sorry…young Leah…I did not mean to…I have not been in a body for so long…If there's-."

"-Just go." I said through clenched teeth. Warm water was streaming down my cheeks. "Just go away, Taha Aki. I don't ever want to see you again." The tears blurred his face, and I was grateful for it.

"Please, young Leah, let me explain." Taha Aki pleaded, his voice full of pain.

Anger boiled up to my brim and flowed over. "There's nothing for you to explain!" I yelled. "You fucking took advantage of me!" I choked on a sob. "You thought I was Yuhi Ami," my tone softer.

"I meant to explain why I was in Sam's body in the first place."

I averted my eyes to the floor. I could feel eyes on me; the rest of the pack was probably at the doorway. "Talk fast." I growled.

"Utlapa has been planning to use you to create a new generation -another pack. I heard his thoughts that he was losing interest in you and was searching for someone else to direct his goal. Sam had been thinking over your explanation about attacking Emily, so he decided to try and enter the spirit world. He succeeded. I knew that it was the sort of moment that Utlapa would take advantage of, so I took over before Utlapa could. I would have let Sam take over his own body, but he had wandered away and there wasn't enough time. I am so sorry for what I have done to you, young Leah, would it be too much to ask of you to pass on an apology to Sam?"

"I'm sure Sam knows. I bet he's watching now, waiting for you to return his body."

"Yes…I believe so."

"Bye Taha Aki." I said, an edge in my tone. A sort of finality.

"Good bye," he said softly. I looked at him and watched as Sam's body slumped over onto Seth's shoulder.

Then, suddenly, Sam was up on his feet and had Emily in his arms. She was crying into his shoulder and he was rubbing her back, whispering into her ear. It was definitely Sam. Emily came first -the world and everyone in it came second.

I got to my feet and held out a hand for Seth to take.

He took it with a crooked smile.

I helped him to his feet and then began brushing the wall dust off. I worked on his hair and shoulders while he took care of the rest. He was my little brother after all, and was used to me fussing over him. Although, he started swatting me away when he turned twelve.

"Are you okay, Leah?" Seth asked when the wall dust had been mostly removed.

I shrugged. "I've been better."

Seth nodded, looking like he wanted to help, but wasn't sure how.

"So, how did you guys know where to find me?" I asked.

"Alex got Billy's number from his mom and called, telling us that you were hurt, and that he thought you were by the ocean."

A weight that I didn't even know was there lifted off of my shoulders and a warm bubble filled my chest. "Did you call him after you brought me in?"

"Yeah. It was the least we could do for him."

I nodded. I should call him myself, and apologize for scaring the bejebeez out of him.

"Leah?" Sam asked from behind me.

"Yeah?" I asked, turning to face him but not made eye contact.

Sam had an arm wrapped around Emily's waist. "Welcome back to the family, by the way."

There were hollers and whistling from around the room. I smiled at my pack brothers, close to laughing because they had all squeezed into the tiny room. It was good to be home.

* * *

**End of chapter. **

**I know that today is the day Breaking Dawn comes out, but please, review anyway. :)**


	13. Exposed

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from the Twilight series, Stephenie Meyer does.**

_Sam had an arm wrapped around Emily's waist. "Welcome back to the family, by the way."_

_There were hollers and whistling from around the room. I smiled at my pack brothers, close to laughing because they had all squeezed into the tiny room. It was good to be home._

* * *

**-Leah-**

I was ready to return to my dorm and curl under my covers.

I was tired.

I needed quiet. I wanted the god damn guys to stop teasing me. They had noticed that I had lost some weight and had started claiming that if I continued my anorexia that they would have to come down to my college and remind me how a wolf eats. Other remarks were made until Sam, now that he had calmed Emily down, stopped them.

"I'm gonna go." I stand up.

"Wait," Seth called from the other side of the table. "You have to eat some of your birthday cake!"

'Cake' was the magic word. Everyone in the household shut up and looked at me from their respective places. It was a general rule, no one got cake before the birthday-girl/boy did. So if I got cake, they got cake. They really wanted cake.

"And you have to read your cards." Collin interjected.

"And we have to sing happy birthday to you." Brady added.

"Don't. You. Dare." I said, glaring at Brady. "I don't want to hear one note of that-."

Suddenly, everyone interrupted with the chorus of happy birthday. Emily set the cake down in front of me and lit the two candles on the cake; the number two and the number three. The cake was decorated with daisies made out of frosting; the stems turned into vines that swept across the surface. I swallowed down the lump in my throat. Emily had remembered me mentioning once that I liked daisies.

Then the song stopped, to my relief; a few of the pack members -who shall go unmentioned- had been a little out of tune.

"Make a wish," my mom reminded me.

I nodded and gave the once-a-year wish some thought and then blew out the candles.

"What did you wish for?" Quil asked, trying to be friendly.

"It's a secret." I said, sliding a finger across the top of the cake, gathering delicious frosting.

"We'll hear it anyways." Jared shrugged.

"Just tell us." Paul mumbled.

I shook my head, heat flooding to my cheeks.

"It's about Alex, isn't it?" Brady guessed.

"Actually, it has nothing to do with Alex." I snapped. "Or college. Or even myself."

There was a stunned silence; they weren't expecting that.

"Then what was it?" Seth asked.

I smiled. "Don't worry, it was a good wish."

"We knew that much." Seth said.

My mom gave him a look. Billy chuckled.

"C'mon, sis, tell us!" he pleaded, correcting his tone.

I plopped my finger in my mouth, to enjoy the sweet taste of frosting and fulfill the task of procrastinating. Emily took out the candles and handed one to Kim, and kept one for herself. As she should since she was who made the cake. I stared at the daisies coloring the cake and debated whether or not I should tell them.

"We'll never leave you alone." Seth said, taking his duty as annoying little brother seriously. "Every time you phase, we'll ask you."

I pulled my finger out of my mouth and grabbed a napkin to dry it off. "Okay, I'll tell you guys…right after I eat my cake, and read my cards."

They complained but stopped when Emily started cutting the cake into squares.

The cake race went well, disappearing in under a half a minute. Then everyone traveled over to the living room, and I had to read my cards aloud. Most of them were funny, some were sweet, and others were a tad corny. Oh, and there were money in some of the cards, which really brightened my mood. Money meant McDonalds.

"Thanks for the cake and the cards." I told my family, getting up out of the recliner when the tradition was complete. I collected all of my cards, gave my mom a hug, and headed for the door.

"Hold up!" Seth said.

I turned around, irritated. I just wanted to _leave_.

"Your wish?"

Everyone went into a silence, waiting for me to answer their long awaited question.

I sighed, shaking my head with disbelief. I had been _so _close to escaping without having to tell them. "Alright, alright." I said, surrendering. They would bother the crap out of me whenever I phased if I didn't tell them now. "I wished for Sam and Emily's baby to be born healthy without complications." I shrugged, trying to seem casual, as if it was obvious. Then I dashed out of there, not so casually.

I didn't want to stick around in an emotional room. I had just admitted, indirectly, that Sam no longer deserved my bitter treatment and that I was over him. The second part was a lie, much to my shame and disgrace. I wasn't over him.

Not entirely.

There was a small part of me that still hoped Sam would return. Sam was familiar, while Alex and every other guy in the world weren't. They were uncharted territory; unknown and stranger. It frightened me. Alex may have been my imprint, but Sam had been in my heart first. There would always be a tiny piece of my heart that belonged to Sam -and him alone. I wondered if I was like that for Sam.

Not that it mattered. It wouldn't change anything. Sam loved Emily more than me, and I loved Alex more than him.

I sighed. Only Taha Aki seemed interested in me. Of course, it wasn't really _me _that he was interested. It was because I looked like Yuhi Ami.

Damn my looks and damn him!!

A shiver ran down my spine in a hot flash. I threw the cards down on the ground and nearly tore off my clothes. Bones cracked and muscles stretched. I gathered the envelops in my mouth, worried that my sharp teeth would rip them. Luckily, the paper was fine.

I wrinkled my nose; the envelops tasted like dirt. I bolted away from the house and raced towards Port Angeles.

"Leah," said a female voice. I felt a hand on my shoulder, trying to shake me awake. "Come on, you have to wake up! Your class starts in an hour and you aren't even up yet!"

Reluctantly, I opened my eyes. Rachel was standing beside me, looking as if she had been up for a while now; bright, cheerful, and _awake_. "Wait, what did you say?" I asked, not registering a word she had said.

"I said that your class starts in an hour -you need to get up."

"Why are you waking me up if I have an hour?"

"Because you need to shower, dress, make yourself decent, eat, and tell me the details of why you came home late and bra-less."

That was a hefty list for one who was half-asleep. "I left my bra at Sam's." I mumbled, rolling away from her to fall back asleep. I was too tired to put up with Rachel and her passion for other people's lives.

"Oh my god!" she squealed. "I didn't know that you had a boyfriend!"

Rachel was met with silence. I didn't feel like explaining. She could assume whatever the hell she wanted. It didn't take long for her voice to blend in the background.

"_Young Leah, do you realize what you have done?" Taha Aki asked, horrified. We were standing in the middle of the forest with fog circling us. _

_I stared at him blankly._

"_You are incompetent!" Utlapa raged from beside Taha Aki. "Death is what you have sentenced the Quileute tribe to! You are a murderer to your brothers!"_

_I looked to Taha Aki to help me understand. _

_He just looked back at me; disappointment and…shame? He was ashamed of me!_

_Why? My throat tightened and it felt like I couldn't breathe. What did I do wrong? When did I screw up?_

"_Perhaps, Young Leah, you should wake up now," he said somberly. _

My eyes flew open and I bolted upright. Rachel was no where in sight. I looked to the clock; class had started forty-five minutes ago. I shivered. Puzzlement filled me. Shivering? I wasn't angry, so what's the deal? I looked down at my arms and saw goosebumps. I heard knocking on the door. I jumped out of bed and scrambled around the room looking for clothes to change into. I pulled on a pair of dirty jeans and a t-shirt. I dashed out of the bedroom, into the living room and to the door. I opened it with measured slowness, not wanting to look inhuman.

There stood a man. He looked like he was in either his late twenties or early thirties. He wore neat, clean clothes that was put together to create a casual look. He had wavy auburn hair that covered the top of his ears, and in the middle of his face were blue eyes. His body structure was thin; he was also shorter than me by a few inches.

"Uh, can I help you?" I asked the stranger.

"Yes, I'm looking for a Leah Clearwater?" he said, his eyes hopeful and on my face instead of my chest.

"And who's looking for her?"

"Stephen Mayor," he answered promptly. "Do you know where I could find Leah?"

"What do you want with her?" I asked cautiously.

"I wanted to talk about the Quileutes."

I pursed my lips. His posture was friendly, respectable. He didn't look like he meant any harm. I stepped aside to let him in.

He entered the dorm, looking relieved and a little nervous.

I shut the door behind him. "I'm Leah. What do you want?"

"I'm a writer." Stephen explained. "I want to write a book based on your legends."

"No." I told him flatly.

"What?" he asked, in shock. "Could you at least consider-?"

"-I said "no", Mr. Mayor. First off, they aren't _my _legends; they are property of the Quileute tri­­-."

"-So I just have to talk to your chief?"

"Excuse me, but who said that I was even part of the tribe?"

"I am so sorry, I assumed that since you were from La Push that-."

"-Where did you hear of the legends in the first place?"

"From a colleague of mine. He works at this college and teaches about myths, legends, and folklore. He came across an excellent essay last week and shared it with me."

My blood went cold. I felt my heartbeat stop. Panic, guilt, fear, anger, and sadness thrashed inside of me. I had released the Quileute legends out to the public.

I had exposed the pack.

I had exposed their descendants.

I had exposed the vampires. Many innocent people will die -under the false explanation of some sort of virus due to the vampire's government.

My family, including my pack brothers, will die.

I will die.

Alex will die.

"Has he shared it with a lot of people?" I asked, my voice a whisper. I was terrified of the answer, but it had to be asked.

"No, only me and his wife," the writer said. Relief flooded into me -I could have kissed the guy. There was still hope. "He said that he was going to ask the student who wrote it if he could bring it to a teacher's convention this Thursday." That was only two days away. Panic. "He wants to discuss the legends with other myths, legends, and folklore teachers, as well as those in the English and the Cultures and Religions department. The convention is huge; teachers across the nation will be attending."

"Has he asked the student yet?" Please let the answer be 'No'!

"Um, I believe that he is teaching right now." Stephen said his tone thoughtful. "I think the student is in his class, actually."

I nodded. "Have you told anyone the legends?"

"I was going to tell my editor this afternoon, why?"

"Mr. Mayor, the truth is that the Quileute tribe wanted to keep their legends within the tribe only. It was never supposed to go public."

Stephen stared at me, trying to pry the answers from my eyes.

"They didn't want any _crazy_ _extremists_ believing the legends and trying to prove that people turn into wolves." I explained, trying to keep my voice calm. "They don't want that kind of attention; that is why you are not allowed to write a book based on the legends. Do not tell your editor about them. Do not tell anyone about them. The tribe would appreciate it, if you would just forget the entire thing."

"So there really _is _still a tribe?"

"Just descendants who don't want their grandparent's stories distorted and twisted, Mr. Mayor, that is all."

"You're one of the descendants, aren't you?"

"Would it matter?"

"I guess not, Miss. Clearwater. Out of curiosity, what should happen if I were to tell someone?"

"_Are_ you going to tell someone?"

"I might." Stephen shrugged. "Not to disrespect your tribe, or anything, it's just that I really need the stories. They are the perfect material for a story."

"So a story is worth more than people's _lives_?" I hissed. "You don't care that La Push will be known as the place where werewolf origins lie?" my voice rose a few decibels. "The people there will be bombarded with stupid reporters and writers such as yourself!"

"It will bring money to La Push -bring business," he pointed out.

"Not everyone wants money and fame, Mr. Mayors. Now get out, and _remember_ what we talked about." I growled.

Stephen stared at me for a second and then left. There had been a twinkle of excitement in his eye; he wasn't going to keep the legends to himself -I could feel it.

But what could I do? It wasn't like I could threaten to sue him; that would really get the legend out to the public. Then the idea hit me and it made me sick to my stomach, went against everything I believed in. Like someone once said "desperate times call for desperate measures". I was desperate.

I was going to kill Stephen Mayors.

* * *

**I would write more, but I can't because I'm busy!! I'm so sorry for leaving this kind of cliff hanger (and for the lack of quality)!! And I also apologize for taking this long to write this chapter, I had lent my friend my computer for her AP English class. ****Please review****, it will make me so happy and inspire me to write quicker!!**


	14. Miss Murderess

**Sorry about the wait, I started school. -The amount of homework has taken up my time. I bet the ACT will be killer….**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from the Twilight series, Stephenie Meyer does. Red Death is a real alcoholic beverage, I did not make up its existence.**

* * *

_I was going to kill Stephen Mayors. _

**-Leah-**

As I strode down the hallway, my morals were screaming at me. _Don't do this! You can still go back -call Sam! He'll know what to do! _

No, I couldn't turn back. I couldn't call Sam - no matter how much I wanted to.

And I really wanted to; but my pride, my honor, wouldn't let me. Ask _Sam_ for help? Tch, yeah right. Besides, how could I explain that I screwed up? I would only get exiled again.

I really didn't want to hurt Stephen, but I had sensed that he was not going to let his story idea go. Even if I told him what I was and threatened him, I knew he would go behind my back and do it anyway. He just had this aura of determination around him; he would never let it go. Never. Ever.

I took a deep breath and found that my throat and chest were constricted. I was on the verge of sobbing. I never thought that things would come to this. I had assumed that the paper would get graded like any other paper and that was that. I had no idea that the teacher was going to make a big deal about it.

How stupid of me.

I never should have assumed. There were even signs to warn me, and I had ignored them. Self-disgust filled me. Putting my fist through a wall suddenly seemed like a good way to vent. Students walked past me with their friends and text books. I envied them. Their lives only held trivial drama; who liked who, how to get their grade back up, what clothes should they were, what food should they eat…It was all so uncomplicated, so simple.

Nevertheless, the hallways were much too public to do something as rash as punching a hole through a wall. I couldn't afford rashness. I couldn't afford anymore exposure.

I couldn't afford to stay here.

My heart squeezed painfully. Blades of raw emotion were shooting through my chest; I didn't bother labeling them, I already knew I was falling apart.

I needed to move out of my dorm.

I needed to get away from Peninsula College.

I needed to leave Alex.

My knees buckled from beneath me. My shoulder hit the wall; sheer will kept me off of the floor.

But I _need _to _stay_ with Alex! I bit my lip to hold back the sob bubbling up in my throat.

People passing by glanced at me, their eyes concerned. Nobody stopped. Nobody asked if I was okay, which was fine because I wasn't capable of answering. And even if I did tell them, it wasn't like they would believe me. It wasn't like they could help. They wouldn't know what to do -they could hardly handle the trivial crap.

God, my life was so fucked up! Why me?

I stood up and pushed myself away from the wall. I didn't have time to give myself a pity party. I struggled for a few steps and then continued onward with my pace faster than before.

I _have_ to kill Stephen; hundreds of lives depended on it. A horrifying thought pierced my mind like a needle through silk. What if Stephen was calling his editor on his cell right _now_?

I began to jog; dodging any students that couldn't get out of my way quick enough. Not even nine seconds, I was out of the building. My eyes scanned the area for Stephen. He couldn't have gone far. Unless he ran to his car and speed off. Sounds like something he'd do. Shit. Good going, Leah.

I sniffed the air, hoping that I could catch a trail. I followed his scent through the parking lot. Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted auburn hair. My head spun so quickly it was amazing that I didn't form any symptoms of whiplash. Sure enough, there went Stephen Mayors in a PT Cruiser…on his cell phone.

I stood there, frozen in place. I was numb. He was on his _cell phone_.

He could call _anyone_.

He could tell that anyone _anything_.

That anything could very well be the legends that _no one_ was supposed to know about.

I shook my head trying to produce a more productive thought process. I needed to _do _something! I felt a raindrop on my arm, and then another on my face, and another and another…stupid Washington weather. As if I didn't have enough to deal with.

I looked around the parking lot. I didn't see anyone, nor could I hear any indication that there was someone around. To play it safe, I ducked behind a SUV. Quicker than ever before, I stripped out of my clothes. I let a surge of heat run down my spine; spreading out to my fingertips and toes in a violent tremor. Muscles stretched and grew, tearing out of my clothes while light gray fur exploded from my skin. Thankfully, there were no other thoughts in my head besides my own. Things would have gotten even more complicated than it already was if any of the pack had to witness what I was about to do.

With my sharper vision, I could see Mayors down the road heading towards the edge of campus. I bolted from the safety of the SUV's cover, eyes locked on my target. Don't think, Leah, just _do_. I hid myself in the trees, so I wouldn't be caught in the rear-view mirror. The distance between me and the tiny car grew smaller with every second. I was going to keep this task of self-damnation simple, and under the pretense that it was an accident.

I glanced behind me to make sure the coast was clear, and then I swerved onto the road behind the single car. I didn't like the feeling of my paws hitting the rough asphalt; I was used to soft ground. I saw Stephen's shocked face in the mirror, mixed in with fear. He accidentally dropped his phone, but he didn't pay any attention to it. Instead, he put his free hand on the steering wheel and the car suddenly sped up -which was the exact reaction that I had hoped for.

I briefly saw the speedometer push past seventy, but I doubt Stephen had even noticed. He would need a car faster than a bloodsucker to escape me.

I easily maneuvered beside him, keeping my speed equal to his. I nipped at his tire. There was a loud popping noise; the rubber couldn't withstand my sharp canines. It rolled for a couple of wheel turns before it flew off. Stephen lost control of the car and went off the wet road. Suddenly, there was a sickening sound of metal being crushed.

I was a murderer. Murderess.

A soft whine escaped my throat; my ears folded back and my tail sank. I hurried off into the green foliage, thoroughly disgusted with myself. I trotted to a stop in front of the dorms, hidden in the underbrush across the street. I waited for the parking lot to be vacant before I dashed to my small pile of soaked clothes, grabbed them with my teeth, and raced back into the trees.

I didn't really want to go back to being human; being a wolf was easier. The emotions weren't as suffocating. However, it was only a matter of time before a member of the pack phases and learns of what I had done. With that in mind, I phased back into a two-legged monster and put on some clothes. No bra. I couldn't find it in me to care. I had just killed a guy; I would have to be a psychopath to not be affected.

I stared at the dorm building for a good minute. It had been my refuge over the past couple of weeks, but the welcoming atmosphere was gone. It was now a place that haunted me; staring accusingly, knowing what I had done. It knew that I was a bad person -I was no longer allowed inside. I _shouldn't _be allowed inside. I was not only a monster, but a murderer.

I didn't want to think about it any longer. I wanted to go back to a time when everything was okay. Unfortunately, it was impossible to travel back in time, so I decided to do the next best thing.

To make myself forget.

* * *

"What can I do for you?" the bartender asked as I took a seat in the stool. He was in his early thirties; his body structure was muscled with a rounded gut, his bleached hair was pulled back into a ponytail, his sleeveless shirt exposed the tattoos running the length of his arms. The bar was a good sized place; it was dimly lit and music played too loudly for my taste.

"I need a drink." I said.

He nodded, encouraging me to make an order.

"I'll take a mix of…" I trailed off, biting my lip. "Vodka…bourbon liqueur…sloe gin…and triple sec."

He smiled, "That one's called "Red Death"."

"It's strong, right?" I had never been much of a drinker; I only picked up on knowledge here and there.

"You only need two to turn your stomach of steel into jell-o," he assured me.

"I'll take it," I said, reaching into my pocket. "How much do I owe you?"

"Depends, how much do you want?"

"A _lot_."

"That'll be eleven fifty."

I forked over the cash.

He took it and, a minute later, I had a tall glass filled with ruby liquid and ice in front of me.

I downed it, and the bartender stared at me with wide eyes and raised eyebrows. "Careful now," he warned. "I'd rather not have to call the ambulance tonight."

I put a ten and a five on the table, ignoring his words. "I'll take another one."

I had about 275 dollars of birthday money to spend.

* * *

I laughed as I danced with a small crowd of people, swaying my hips in beat to the music. A faceless guy put a hand on my rump and I twirled away.

"I sed no touchie!!" I whined, a smile on my lips.

He laughed and reached for me but I danced out of his range.

I wagged my index finger, "Unh-unh-unh!" I stuck my tongue out at him and winked playfully. I then staggered over to the swirling bar, griping random people so I wouldn't fall. Only two guys took advantage of that but they were ignored. I was thirsty and didn't feel like delaying another drink to tell them off.

I went to sit on a stool, but missed it completely. I laughed and climbed up onto it. "I wanta 'notha bleeu drink -witha pinahpull an' a chaerwy at thuh bottum!" I said to the blonde dude behind the counter.

"I think you've had way too much, lady. I'm can't believe you aren't dead yet."

Mood killer.

"You know nothiiin abouw dead peopull!" I said angrily, irritated by his ignorance. "They downt aaaalwayz stay dead! You gotta tawr em apawrt an' then buurn em so they downt puht emselvez back togethah!"

"Whoa, I think it's about time you head home."

My chest tightened. "I downt hava home -I dida baaaad thinnnng an' now I can't go back." I swallowed back a sob. "There's no-way-no-how that theeeey'll wantme." I sniffed.

"Oh man, please don't start crying," the man behind the counter begged. His face was in too many places at once to see his expression right.

"I'm not goingta cry!" I yelled at him. "Cwyring is fah the weak!"

"Okay, okay," he said, taking a step back.

I smiled. "Am I scariiiing you?"

"You're shaking."

I looked down at my hand, but it looked like everything else in the room; it wouldn't stay put. "Aaaam I?"

"Yeah," he nodded.

"You shooould be scared. I'm dannngerous."

"And why are you dangerous?" he asked, his tone wary and curious at the same time.

I smirked. "I cooould tell you but I'd hafta kill you."

He chuckled nervously. "Sounds like it's a secret to be kept."

I slid off of the stool and held onto the counter so I wouldn't fall over. "It is." I told him before stumbling away.

It was raining and dark when I stepped outside. I breathed the fresh air deeply; the scent of alcohol had been burning my nose all day (night-?). I began to cross the street, wanting to get to the forest on the other side. -Maybe the chicken had the same reasons? Ha-ha.

A horn blared into my ear equipped with the sound of squealing tires. I turned and was blinded by headlights. The front bumper of the car stopped by me knee. The driver's window rolled down. I strolled over, nearly tripping only once.

"Are you okay?" the man behind the wheel asked.

"No!" I said, my volume loud. Nothing in my life was okay. Why couldn't the world just see that and leave me alone? I lightly kicked his door, putting a dent in it. "Watch for pedeeestrians, you fuckinng ass!"

I swaggered away into the forest, before he could reply. I bet that jerk won't be speeding again anytime soon. I should have smashed his hood, or jumped on top of his car and put a hole through the roof. He would have had a bit more sympathy for those who walked in the rain if he had a sun roof that couldn't close.

I ran into a tree. I stumbled away from it and blinked. There were _so _many trees in this god damned forest.

I phased into a wolf. The trees were still spinning and multiplied, but not as badly. I stepped around the tree carefully, not wanting to knock it over. It was just a poor innocent tree. It didn't deserve my large mass filled wrath.

"_Are you on drugs?" _asked one of the guys from the pack.

I couldn't identify who; they all sounded so much alike.

"_What the heck do you mean we sound alike?"_

Are you Paul, by any chance? Cause you're really really anooooying.

Someone sniggered.

"_Shut up, Jared," _snapped Paul. I saw through clearer eyes a silver wolf nip at a brown wolf's shoulder. The brown wolf dodged.

I laughed.

"_Seriously, Leah, are you high?" _asked…a reddish-brown wolf…-oh, it's Jacob!

I am not high, Jakey-boo-pup.

-Most of the pack howled in laughter at his new nickname.- Jacob didn't find it funny.

I just had a _liiiiittle _too much to drink, I explained.

"But you don't drink." Seth said, feeling uneasy.

Guilt rose up; I didn't like upsetting my younger brother. For good reason, I replied, -the bar smelled awful. My nose is still all tingly from it.

"_What's going on?" _Sam asked, suddenly united with us.

"_Leah's drunk," _answered Embry.

Sam reached out to my thoughts, my senses, my emotions. He was quiet for a moment. _"Why did you get yourself drunk?"_

I phased back into a two-legged creature. I slid down the trunk of a nearby tree and brought my knees up to my chest. I stayed in that position until a huge black wolf showed up. His brown eyes stared into mine.

"I'm not going to phase." I tell him, almost sober.

Sam's figure blurred for a second and then he was human. He pulled on pair of pants, tossing me boxers and a t-shirt.

I stood up and put on the clothes.

"Are you okay, Leah?"

"Since when have I ever been okay?" I scoffed.

Sam's eyes saddened. "You know what I mean."

"Do I? Cause it seems to me that no matter what your intentions are, I get hurt by you. Thanks for the clothes, but you can go now. I don't need you anymore."

Sam stared at me…and stared…and stared some more.

"What?" I finally asked after a minute.

"You really are over me, aren't you?" he asked quietly.

My eyes narrowed. "What's it to you?" I asked curtly. "God dammit, Sam, how can you ask me that?"

"I need to know."

"No, Sam. No you don't. You don't need to know."

"Yes, I do."

"It wouldn't _change _anything." I said exasperatedly. "You'd still be with Emily, and I'd still be-." I stopped. I had no one. I needed another drink; I didn't want to be able to think this clearly. It felt much too soon to face reality; I wasn't ready for the alcohol to fade in my system.

Sam took a step forward to comfort me.

I jumped away. "-alone." I finished my sentence.

"Leah-"

"-Don't 'Leah' me!" I snapped. "You aren't my world anymore, okay? You've got better things to do than worry about a monster like me -Emily's pregnant, so what are you doing here?"

Sam hesitated.

"Well?"

"I was worried about you."

"Don't bother."

"You never answered my question."

"Which one?"

"Why did you get yourself drunk?"

"Christ, Sam, why not? I'm depressed; Alex, my so called soul mate, is my roommate's _boyfriend_. My classes are hard; the homework takes me hours on end. And I'm not eating right because I have to appear normal. -Is that list good enough, or do you want to hear more?"

"But that's not why you got yourself drunk."

"What makes you think that?" I tersely asked.

"You just want Alex to be happy, I know that. You don't mind the homework because it keeps you in college with Alex. And you can handle the lack of food, because knowing you, you eat normally when there's no one to witness it."

He saw right through me. Typical Sam. Stupid Sam.

I didn't say anything, I just looked down at the ground.

"What happened?"

"I don't want to talk about it." I said quickly, my gaze still on the blades of grass.

"Are you okay?" Sam asked, repeating his question from earlier.

I hesitated. The dam that held back my emotions had been leaking, and it was ready to collapse. I wasn't sure how much longer I had before it all came gushing out. The pressure was building…I bit my lip. "Sam…just go…please."

Sam shifted as if he was going to leave, but then thought better of it and stayed put.

I wrapped my arms around myself, trying to keep together. "_Please _go." I growled.

"Are you okay?" he asked again, ignoring my plea.

I bolted.

I was running as fast as I possibly could. Tears were blurring my vision, but I didn't hit any trees much to my relief. I could hear Sam running behind me, falling a tiny bit behind every second. I ran in a large circle twice, wanting to loose him, and then I ran down the invisible path that I had stumbled down earlier.

I jogged slowly through town and found an empty alley way between two warehouses. I was breathing heavy, my head was spinning, and I couldn't stop sobbing. I tried. I honestly tried to stop crying but I couldn't.

* * *

I felt warm and comfortable. Too comfortable. Too warm.

I opened my eyes and saw copper skin. I sucked in a breath. Sam's scent crawled deep into my sinus cavity.

"You awake?" Sam asked.

I could feel the tremor of his low voice through my cheek. He was carrying me, I realized. I removed my cheek from his bare skin. "Yes, put me down."

"I don't think so," he said calmly. "Now, which room is yours?"

I looked around and saw that we were in the dorms building. People were staring at us.

"Put. Me. Down." I hissed. "People are staring."

Sam raised an eyebrow. "Since when does the proud Leah care about what other people think?" he teased.

I glared. "I'm serious, Sam. Put me down."

Sam shook his head.

"I'll hit you." I threatened.

"In front of all these people?" he asked, knowing that he had me cornered.

"You could just put me down and save me the trouble."

"What's your room number?"

I sighed. "Five-two-three."

Sam nodded in acknowledgement and walked onward.

"Leah!" a voice called.

Oh jeez. I did not need this.

Sam stopped and turned.

Derek jogged towards us and halted at a respectable distance. The bruise on his arm was still there, looking better, but not great. His brown hair was pulled back in a glossy ponytail, and his clothes were semi-casual. Derek was looking good…and worried out of his freakin mind. "Leah, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." I said, feeling awkward in Sam's arms.

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

"This must be Sam."

Huh? "How did-?"

"-Rachel said that you left your bra at your boyfriend's house."

Sam tensed…and then did something that I never expected him to do.

He dropped me on my ass.

I sat there for a good three seconds, in shock. I looked up at Derek, who looked just about as surprised as I felt. I got to my feet and turned around in time to see Sam leave through the door. What the-? Confusion turned into anger. How _dare_ he do that to me? I chased after the pack Alpha, my pace measured so it didn't look _too_ fast.

"Sam!" I called out.

He was briskly walking across the parking lot, getting his clothes wet all over again. He didn't pause -he broke out into a jog, nearly a run. I glanced around and saw that there was no one else in the area. I dashed towards him. He heard me coming and began to slow down.

I tackled the asshole.

"I was going to stop, you didn't have to tackle me!" he snapped, his front side in the mud.

I didn't move. "That was for dropping me on my ass without a warning first!" I hissed. "Why in the hell did you do that?"

Sam rolled over, pushing me off of him into the mud. He sat up, and I sat up too.

"When I came here, I thought you were drunk because something horrible happened," he began, his temper rising -something that I hadn't seen in a while. "Not because Alex and his friends misunderstood why you didn't return until late last night. Or did you tell them that yourself? God, dammit, Leah I thought you were over me."

"First off, I didn't tell them that I had a boyfriend, Rachel misunderstood. Secondly, that wasn't Alex, that was Derek. And thirdly, you don't have to be so damn _disgusted_!" I was yelling by now. "Jeez, Sam, I can't help how I feel! Would a fucking apology make you feel better?"

"No, it wouldn't make me feel better. If you would have just said that you were drunk because of friend issues, you could have saved me the trouble of having to run over here!"

"So _that's_ what I am? Trouble?"

"Leah, I didn't mean it like-."

"Sure you didn't." I spat, the sarcasm couldn't have been more evident. I got to my feet.

He got to his feet too; he opened his mouth to say something.

"-Save it." I interrupted. "You don't think friends troubles are worth getting drunk over because you're so used to Emily and the pack. You _know _that they won't leave you. My friends could walk _away_ from me at any given moment. You're ignorant Sam; maybe you should step outside of your fantasy world for a second and take a good look around! Then you might be able to understand me by at least one fucking percent!"

I stomped away, but Sam didn't follow.

I would have been surprised if he did.

* * *

**I had to do a little bit of research to find what strong alcoholic beverage Leah should have, I'm underage and have no interest in consuming alcohol, so the point is….there is no point. I just wanted to let you guys know. lol. Oh…since I have no knowledge about alcohol, I have no idea how much it costs. I hope you liked it (especially the length)!! Please review!!**


	15. The Calm

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from the Twilight series, Stephenie Meyer does.**

_He got to his feet too; he opened his mouth to say something._

"_-Save it." I interrupted. "You don't think friend troubles are worth getting drunk over because you're so used to Emily and the pack. You know that they won't leave you. My friends could walk away from me at any given moment. You're ignorant Sam; maybe you should step outside of your fantasy world for a second and take a good look around! Then you might be able to understand me by at least one fucking percent!" _

_I stomped away, but Sam didn't follow. _

_I would have been surprised if he did._

**-Leah-**

Inside, Derek was waiting for me, his expression even more worried. I was beyond a bad mood; Sam was a jerk (nothing new there), I was covered in mud, and I was still a murderer -the act couldn't be undone.

"Leah, what happened?" Derek asked, watching me stain the carpet with brown footprints.

"None of your business." I snapped.

Derek frowned. "I'm just trying to hel-."

"-I don't need your help, and I don't want it." I interrupted. "I'm going to take a shower now. Bye." I turned on my heel and headed for my dorm. He didn't follow me. Good.

I took off my muddy shoes before entering. I went straight to the bathroom, stripped down, and began to rinse out my clothes. Then I saw that there was an article of clothing missing, reminding me that I still had to get my bra back…not for a long while, I smiled wryly.

I padded across the white tile to the shower, turned it on, and stepped inside. Standing under the warm running water, I made a list of what I needed to do before I leave Peninsula College.

Make sure that the 'Myths, Legends, and Folklore' teacher -and his wife- doesn't blab the Quileute legends

Destroy Alex's essay -and any copies that may have been made

Find out Alex's mailing address so I can send him letters (stupid drowned cell phone)

Get forms from the office so a refund is ensured and that they know I will no longer be attending this learning facility

Gather my crap

Say good-bye?

Was that it? Really? Sadness curled up in my throat.

Even though I was tired of my life being complicated, I didn't want things to be that simple. I didn't want leaving to be so easy. I wanted to stay at Peninsula College where Alex was. I wanted to learn more about him; everything about him.

I guess I was just out of time.

Take a picture with everyone

Time will stand frozen in that photograph; it will be a reminder that my life, as difficult as it has been, has had good people in it. And the best part is that it will have Alex in the picture -he will always be with me.

Make sure that there are copies of that picture

Everyone will get a copy. At least, that way, they will not forget about me. Alex will not forget about me.

I lathered shampoo into my hair with a smile on my face, keeping my eyes closed. The moment I open my eyes, I knew that Alex's image would fade away. His dark blonde hair; strands falling into his hazel eyes. His angular nose and high cheekbones. His soft smile revealing straight, white teeth. He had braces when he was younger, I recalled.

I tried to imagine a younger Alex with braces…a giggle escaped my lips. The created image of him was adorable! Geek-ish braces visible from an awkward but kind smile. I could picture him all gangly; clumsy too, as he struggled to find his center of gravity with his new height. I could picture the younger Alex scowling at his English teacher, despising the educator for assigning yet another essay….

Essay.

What the hell was I doing, just standing around daydreaming? There were things that had to be done! Things that couldn't wait.

I rinsed my hair out roughly, slathered on body wash, washed the suds off, and hurried out of the shower. I hastily dressed; putting on a pair of old sweatpants and a tee shirt. -Bonus points for not matching at all. I left the dorm barefoot, feeling too rushed to go back to my room to put on socks and shoes.

Peers watched me hurry down the hall, curious to where I was going at this time of night in clothes that shouldn't ever be seen in public, without shoes, and with wet hair.

Whatever.

It didn't matter what they thought of me, all that mattered was talking to that damn teacher! I hurried outside and jogged to the school. I stopped in my tracks before the entrance. I was so dumb.

The teacher was probably at home grading papers, or spending some time with his wife. He wasn't at school.

I plopped down on the cold cement, staring at the glass doors. What now? I felt too stupid to go back to my dorm. Only smart people deserved warm beds and food-filled fridges. Oh, and people who don't murder others -can't forget that.

My stomach growled angrily.

Oh shut up. You can survive without eating for a few hours. Deal with it.

My stomach didn't respond.

I sighed. I was so lame.

I yawned. Lame _and _tired. I was tempted to just sleep where I sat, but that wouldn't be such a good idea. I had already attracted enough attention as it was; there was no need to ask for more.

I reluctantly got to my feet. I heard a familiar splash of water. Then another and another…finally I felt a drop land on my head. It began to rain.

The only thing that seemed to be in synch with me was the weather.

I trudged on slowly, heading for the dorms. It wasn't like there was anywhere else I could really go…

If I had been a cartoon character, a light bulb would have suddenly appeared above my head.

I could go over to Alex's apartment!

Not only would it do me some good, but the visit would also contribute to my list.

A smile spread over my face and I began to run, wanting to get there as soon as possible. No one was out at this time of night in the rain, so I was safe as far as exposure went.

"Alex?" I called, knocking on his door.

I heard movement pause inside. "Leah?"

A warm bubble swelled up in my chest at the sound of his voice. "Yeah, it's me." I breathed.

Rush to the door. The door opened revealing beaming Alex. With braces he was adorable, but without…my heart was racing. Or was that because I had been running? Both, I decided.

His smile faltered and he stepped aside to let me in. "You're soaking wet."

"Yeah, but I'm okay," my smile turned sheepish.

I entered and never wanted to leave. The apartment was full of his scent, I paused to inhale deeply.

"I'll get you some dry clothes." Alex said, closing the door. He headed for the room hidden in the back.

"Alex, I'm fine, really." I said, not wanting to put him through any trouble.

He ignored me and disappeared.

I just stood there, not wanting to sit down and get the furniture wet. I listened to the rustling in the back of the apartment while looking around. Nothing had changed since the last time I had been here, except that his laptop wasn't on and open. Books and papers still cluttered the oak table.

I inhaled another deep breath and relished in the fact that it I felt whole. I could breathe all of the way. I could enjoy the scent of Alex fully.

Alex appeared a minute later. In his arms was a towel, a shirt, a hoody, sweatpants and boxers. I had to use a lot of self control not to grin; at least I now knew what kind of underwear he wore. It made me feel like I was on the inside of a big secret. -His underwear _better_ be a secret at least.

He wordlessly handed me the bundle of clothes. I smiled at him and went to the bathroom to change. As I stripped down, I saw that the tiny room was a clean with a little bit of clutter on the countertop. The shower curtain was a simple light gray. The floor had a cushiony blue rug. It was an ordinary bathroom of an extraordinary person.

When I came out with dry clothes on, Alex was stirring what smelled like hot chocolate.

"How many spoonfuls did you put in there?" I asked.

"About five and a half, why?" he asked with a smile, but keeping his hazel eyes on the hot chocolate.

"I like my hot chocolate chocolaty."

He added another two large spoonfuls.

I laughed. "And you used milk, right?"

"Of course."

"Good, because water just doesn't do the job."

"Agreed," he said, handing me a cup. "Careful, it's hot."

I took it from him gently. "That's why it has the word 'hot' in its name." I took a sip. Yum.

"Are you _trying _to burn your tongue off?" he asked, blowing the steam away from the mug.

I took another sip. "No, I let Cheetos do that." I joked.

Alex smirked. "Those aren't really even that spicy."

"I know!" I said, happy that I was not the only person in the universe who thought that. "It's a rip off; I want my tongue to be on _fire_ when they claim it to be 'Dangerously Hot'."

"So you like spicy food?"

I shrugged, taking another sip. "I just can't stand sour."

"Were traumatized as a child by Warheads?" he teased.

I crinkled my nose. "I wouldn't even _touch _those things."

"Still won't?" he guessed.

"Not a chance."

He laughed. The sound was so natural, so carefree. It melted away my past horrors, leaving me with a sense of happiness.

I was really getting addicted to happiness, contentment.

I took another sip.

Alex blew on his hot chocolate some more. "You got your wires and bands off."

"Yeah. I got them off after my…incident." Carlisle granted me with the gift of free teeth as a birthday present.

"Are you okay now?" he asked softly, concern coloring his tone.

"Oh yeah." I said, making me tone light. I wanted to keep the atmosphere happy. "Perfectly fine."

Alex blew on his hot chocolate. His eyes were on me; scrutinizing my face.

"What is it?" I asked, needing to know what he was thinking. I lowered my hot chocolate to give him my complete attention -not that he hadn't had it all long.

"Not to pry, but what happened? Your friend Sam never told me what happened."

Good thing I hadn't been drinking my hot chocolate. I swallowed nervously. "I fell."

Alex was quiet for a moment before asking, "No broken bones?"

Not anymore. "I cracked a rib and got a few bruises." I said, my tone conveying that it wasn't a big deal. "But I'm fine, really." I added when he looked like he was going to go mother hen on me.

Although, having Alex fawn over me was impossible to push away, it had to be done. Not only did being taken care of go against my basic instincts, but I was leaving soon. You can't miss something if you don't know what it was like in the first place.

Alex blew on his hot chocolate, his eyes now thoughtful. He risked a quick sip and then took in more hot chocolate.

I took a sip of my own hot chocolate, relieved that he wasn't the kind of person to ask the wrong questions.

"Wanna watch a movie?" he asked, gesturing to the shelf of DVDs.

"Sure."

The lights were turned off and the hot chocolates were finished. We were curled up on the couch, only an inch of electric space between us. The ease that Alex's presence brought plus the warmth of the hot chocolate was pulling me down gently into slumber. I struggled to keep my eyes open; not wanting to waste a single second with Alex but my body wasn't cooperating with me. The sound of the movie became background noise. After who knows how long, I slipped into unconsciousness.

* * *

**I didn't intend this chapter to be so…um, kind (I'm evil, I'm sorry) but people were asking me to update and, well, I can't deny you guys. I love you all. **

**I am sad to report that my computer is infected by spyware -my security subscription expired a while ago and I am now feeling the effects. I have tried downloading free security trial periods from Microsoft, but they won't install due to some unknown error that I can't figure out. So I am praying that my computer doesn't crash. If anyone has any ideas or solutions of the sort, I would really appreciate it. **

**Oh, if you feel as if I am not updating fast enough, send me a message to let me know. I love being pestered; it renews my will to update. ;) Reviews have the same effect. **


	16. Monster

**A/N: Yeah, I changed the rating to "T". There isn't going to be any sex. The language really isn't that bad. So...I figured that it didn't really deserve a Mature rating, however, if you disagree with my decision. Please let me know!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from the Twilight series, Stephenie Meyer does.**

**

* * *

**

_We were curled up on the couch, only an inch of electric space between us. The ease that Alex's presence brought plus the warmth of the hot chocolate was pulling me down gently into slumber. I struggled to keep my eyes open; not wanting to waste a single second with Alex but my body wasn't cooperating with me. The sound of the movie became background noise. After who knows how long, I slipped into unconsciousness._

**-Alex-**

A muffled sound came from beneath my pillow and I drowsily lifted the cushion to see what was making the noise. Cell phone. The picture indicated it wasn't my alarm, so that led me to conclude it was a call.

Eh. I didn't feel like waking up…but it was Rachel, and boyfriend protocol said that you always had to pick up the phone if it was your girlfriend. Always. Not to mention it was common courtesy to answer your phone when someone calls you.

I took the phone and flipped it open. Lingering near my ear, with most of my face buried in my pillow, I mumbled into the receiver, "Hello?"

"Hey, Hun," she greeted sounding wide awake.

How could she be so awake so early? …What time was it anyway?

"Have you seen Leah?" Rachel asked. "She's not in her room."

"Mm," I replied, trying to piece my mind back together. Leah…Leah…I had a feeling that I knew something about her. I rolled onto my side, keeping my eyes closed. I wiped at the back of my neck; it was really warm in here. Since when was my room hot?

Never mind the temperature, what was it that I was forgetting?

Half-hearted irritation rose; I was too sleepy to gather the appropriate amount of annoyance at my lack of cognitive progress. "Hang on, Rach," I told her so she wouldn't go into impatient-mode. "I'm half asleep here."

"Oh god, is she still hurt?" Rachel asked worriedly. Her gears then changed, "Derek said something about her being back but that doesn't mean that she's okay…"

"She'll be fine," I assured her. My mind was now functioning. The men in front of the brain-monitors cheered, celebrating the success of completing the daily task of pulling me completely out of sleep. "She said that she has a cracked rib and some bruises, but that she's okay. She fell asleep watching a movie and ended up spending the night…you don't want me to wake her up, do you?"

I hoped not.

"No, no." Rachel said casually the relief in her voice clear. "…Hey Alex?" she questioned, suddenly not sounding like her confident self.

"Yeah?"

"Could you do me a favor?"

I was about to say 'sure, anything', out of habit, but I caught myself. "Depends what it is."

"…I know you don't like to pry, but could you talk to Leah please? For me?" Rachel begged. "I'm worried about her."

I rolled onto my back, keeping the phone in place, and pinched the bridge of my nose. If it had been about anyone else, I would have already have given in to Rachel's wish. But this wasn't about just any ordinary person. This was about Leah. I mean, hadn't I pried enough last night?

I opened my eyes and turned my head. Sure enough, there she was, sleeping soundly. Her black hair was ruffled, and her skin reflected the dim light shining through the curtains in a soft copper glow. Her body was relaxed; quiet, even breaths caused her chest to rise and fall. My lungs deflated, and I momentarily forgot how to refill them with air. Leah was…wow. I had the urge to run a hand through her silky short hair and muss it up a little. Maybe plant a small kiss on her forehead…

I mentally slapped myself, remembering that I had a girlfriend. And how that girlfriend was presently on the phone, waiting. "Uh, what?" I asked. I couldn't recall what Rachel had said last.

"I asked if you would talk to Leah for me and see if everything's okay with her." Rachel repeated, annoyance slipped into her calm voice.

"Right, sorry." I apologized hastily. Rachel usually didn't get upset easily, being a laid-back liberal, but when she was angry…watch out. Or else everyone was guaranteed to have a bad day. I've known her for years, and I knew better than to piss her off. "-I'll see what I can do." I added without thought.

_Oh good job, Alex, way to go_ -my inner voice said with dripping sarcasm. _You're about to make Leah's day -I bet she _loves_ having her privacy and personal information pried. _

"Thank you!" Rachel chirped. "You're the best!"

"Yeah, yeah." I said coolly, feeling as if I had dug a hole for myself.

"Oh, and Alex?"

"Hmm?"

She hesitated.

It was at that instant of hesitation that I knew what topic she was going to bring up. My throat tightened and I suddenly felt nauseous.

"Have you thought about it?"

"Yes." I whispered, suddenly losing my volume. I looked around my room anxiously for anything that would come in handy should I throw up. I really didn't feel too good.

"And?"

"I-I need more time." I barely manage to say. My head took lift off and dizziness settled in.

Rachel sighed, clearly disappointed; my heart guiltily tore a little. "Okay."

I couldn't think of anything to say, so I just let the silence hang there. My thoughts went in circles, looking for a way to please her that wouldn't actually involve me fulfilling her request.

"Alex…," her voice sounded said and hurt. "If you don't want to-." Her voice momentarily didn't reach my ears as I watched Leah roll onto her side away from me and let out a soft sigh. "-something."

"I gotta go," I said, having enough of the conversation. "-but we'll talk later, alright?"

Rachel disconnected.

Opps. She thought that I had been avoiding….what was she saying again? Crap.

I closed the cell phone and stuffed it beneath my pillow. Even if I did call Rachel back, what would I even say? Eh, she probably would ignore the call anyways.

I repositioned myself so that I was comfortably facing Leah's back. Hopefully she doesn't freak out too much when she finds that we shared the same bed. I could imagine her reaction…

"_You could have just left me on the couch, you know." _-equipped with a casual tone with a hint of sharpness.

Or:

"_I don't think Rachel would be comfortable with this…" _-uncomfortable, worried voice

And possibly:

"………………" _­_-wide eyed expression.

Well, whatever her soon-to-be reaction, hopefully it didn't involve her throwing stuff at me. I hated having stuff thrown at me; hence, why I hated dodge ball so much in physical education back in middle school. So long ago…

Leah rolled onto her other side, now facing me. She breathed softly on me, tickling my skin. A smile tugged at the corners of my lips. She shifted again, one of her legs brushing up against mine. I jumped slightly, not expecting her skin to be _that _warm.

Jeez, no wonder I was sweating, she was like a furnace!

She moved again and an arm flopped across my chest, her face nuzzled my shoulder. She sighed again.

My breath hitched in my throat and my heart began to race. "L-Leah?"

She inhaled and shifted so that her face was nested against my neck. Electricity tingled across my skin, racing down my body and back up again.

I cleared my throat to coax my voice out. "Are you awake?"

She replied by exhaling, her hot breath tickling my throat. As she breathed, her chest pushed up against me and then backed away. My blood heated just to look at her, I didn't need her actual body heat to contribute……._Alex, don't even go there._

I used the arm that wasn't pinned to my side to remove her arm that was resting across my chest. Then I pushed her gently away, just enough so that I could escape. I fell to the floor with an ungraceful thud. I sat up quickly in alarm. I didn't wake her up, did I?

Nope. Leah face was buried in my pillow, she moved so that she was hugging it closer to her.

I couldn't hold back the smile that spread across my face; she was just too cute.

Another mental slap.

_Get a grip! You're dating Rachel -don't be thinking of Leah like that!_

I know! I know! God, it's not my fault, I can't help what I think!

_Just don't _do _anything. _

With a sigh, I grabbed some clothes out of my drawer and headed for the bathroom. And for the first time in my life, I took a cold shower. The bathing ritual was made quick, lasting less than ten minutes. I stepped out, grabbed a towel from the cabinet, dried myself off, and put on some clothes.

When I entered my room, Leah was still sleeping with comforter and company lying on the floor. Being in boxers, a great amount of skin was exposed to the cold air. -Wait, what? I could have sworn I gave her sweatpants to wear…they were also on the floor. So she had kicked those off too.

Lucky her, she wasn't cold -she was spread out and had no goosebumps- even with all of the blankets gone. And her pants (God, that sounds wrong).

Unlucky me, I was freezing because I was stupid enough to take a cold shower in an apartment that had always had a poor heating system, and being fully dressed didn't seem to matter. Instead of giving in to the ungentlemanly urge to lie down next to Leah's toasty-warm body, I left the bedroom and headed to the living room.

I picked up the two mugs from the night before and rinsed them in the sink. Then I began to make a large breakfast; I was starved and I was sure that Leah would be too once she woke up.

* * *

**-Leah-**

I sighed contentedly into the soft pillow. I was comfortable and relaxed; I had no intention of getting up. I knew, for reasons that I didn't want to remember, that I should cherish this moment.

However, I was becoming more alert and could hear the sound of the television coming from another room, I could smell food and Alex, I could-

-Alex?!

I bolted upright. I was lying on a bed in an unfamiliar room. Sure enough, the air and everything in the room was permeated with his scent. I was then ambushed by the memory of last night.

Oh. He must have carried me to bed. My insides melted as my body heated up in embarrassment.

_You can't stay in here all day_, my common sense told me. _Get up_.

I jumped out of bed and my knees gave out beneath me, my legs feeling like jell-o. I buried my face in the mattress. I can't face him! I probably snored or drooled or something!

I let out a small gasp of horror and peaked at the pillows. No sign of drool. A sigh of relief was exhaled.

I stood up again, happy to find that my legs were functional, and started to walk out the room. My feet got tangled up in the comforter on the floor and I nearly fall flat on my face, but thanks to my werewolf reflexes, I was able to prevent the incident and escape the mess of fabric.

"Morning." I greeted shyly, watching Alex as I grabbed a plate off the counter and began to fill it with food.

"Morning," he replied quietly. His voice was strained, his jaw was tense, his lips were pursed, and his hazel eyes were on the tv with an unhappy look.

I abandoned my plate and sat next to him, resisting the temptation to wrap a soothing arm around him. My eyes pulled themselves away from him to look at the television.

It was the news.

On the screen, was a woman. Her eyes were red and her cheeks were stained with tears. Her belly was round with future motherhood. "-just stopped talking.," she said as she choked on a sob. "It sounded like he had dropped the phone or something."

"Mrs. Mayors," the reporter began. My blood froze to subzero temperature. My heart stopped. "Could you tell us what your husband was saying before that?"

"H-he was telling me that he would be home soon," the pregnant woman sobbed. "I asked if he had gotten p-permission to write his story and that's when it-." Mrs. Mayors was crying too hard to speak. An elderly man with white hair and a large gut wrapped a comforting arm around her shoulders and pulled her into a hug.

"That's my teacher." Alex said quietly beside me.

I couldn't take my eyes off of the tv, even though I desperately wanted to see the expression on my soul mate's face. I watched as a nearby police officer stepped forward to take over the media's attention, giving the sobbing woman a break.

"What is your name?" the reporter asked kindly.

"Officer Issac Kingston," the man replied.

"Officer Kingston, could you please give more detail as to what caused the accident?"

"The front-left tire was torn."

"_Torn?_ Could you please be more specific on the tire's condition?" the reporter asked.

The officer nodded. "The tire looked like it was punctured and then torn, kind of like a dog tearing up a rubber ball."

My chest tightened, and I couldn't breathe.

"So you think an animal attacked the tire?"

"No." Officer Kingston answered. "There is no such animal fast enough to catch up to a car going about seventy miles per hour in North America, not to mention large enough to bite the tire in such a fashion. Also, Stephen Mayor is a very unlikely candidate to provoke an animal, should one as previously described, exist."

"Do you have any idea as to what did cause the accident?"

"None. Mr. Mayor was not intoxicated and had a very good driving record. We will continue further investigation."

"Thank you Officer Kingston," the reporter said, turning towards the camera. "Let's head back to William Pearson for more news."

The television screen turned black. I blinked back my tears and turned to Alex, who was holding the remote in his hand.

He was studying my expression.

I watched him evaluate my face, wishing more than anything that I could go back in time and stop myself from killing Stephen Mayor.

He had been a husband.

He had been a future-father.

Hot tears slid down my face and my bottom lip trembled as I tried to hold down the sob that was threatening to escape my throat.

He needed money so he could support his family; his desperation hadn't been greed, but selflessness.

I had killed a good man.

I was such a monster.

My frame started to shake and jumped to my feet quickly.

"Leah!" I heard Alex call as I closed his apartment door behind me.

I slipped out of the building and into the snow. It melted as I came in contact with it. Without pause, I ran to the forest and kept running. I slowed down to a slow walk, when I stepped onto the pavement of the parking lot in front of the dorm building. People openly stared as I walked through the hallway heading towards my dorm, I couldn't care less.

"Oh my god!" Rachel squealed at the sight of me. She maneuvered past a couple and reached me. "Leah, are you okay?"

I nodded, unable to make my voice work.

"You don't have any pants or shoes on, darling," she pointed out. "And you've been crying."

I shrugged.

She took my hand and led the way to our dorm. I didn't bother pulling away from her, today was the last time I was going to see her.

I was leaving Peninsula College and never coming back. Ever.

**

* * *

**

**A/N: Please read the author note at the top if you didn't read it.**

**I'm sorry it took me so long to update, my computer ended up going to a shop. The viruses on it were vicious. There is still some stubborn stuff left (like folders that I can't delete because I don't have access) but there are no pop-ups, or freezing, or busy servers, and I am able to use Task Manager again (y'know, Ctrl+Alt+Delete?) so I'm very happy. I have new classes now that exams are over, and I don't want to get off to a bad start. Which is why I am posting while I can, hence why this chapter ended at oh-so bad spot. My apologies. I love you all. And thank you so much to those who pestered me to update (and reviewed)!!!**


	17. Secret No More

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from the Twilight series, Stephenie Meyer does.**

_She took my hand and led the way to our dorm. I didn't bother pulling away from her, today was the last time I was going to see her. I was leaving Peninsula College and never coming back. Ever._

**-Leah-**

As soon as Rachel had shut the door behind us, my hand slid out of hers and I went to my room.

"You're leaving?" she asked from the door way with wide eyes as I pulled out my duffle bags.

I nodded curtly and start shoving my clothes inside.

"Please, Leah, tell me what's wrong," Rachel pleaded. "Why are you leaving?"

"It doesn't matter why." I said stiffly.

"It does too!" she cried, upset.

I stopped shoving clothes in the back and looked at her straight in the eye. "Rachel," I begin slowly, coldly. "I am leaving because I want to."

"You're lying, Leah," she said stubbornly. "Tell me the truth, that's all I'm asking for, is the truth."

That threw me off balance for a second. I hadn't expected her to see right through me. I collected myself quickly and realized that I was emotionally exhausted. Mentally too. I wished I had a "pause" button that I could press and sort the jumbled mess that I was.

God, I was tired. And hungry. I wished that Alex was beside me, unknowingly giving me strength to carry on.

A sigh escaped from my lips. "I can't tell you the truth." I whisper.

"Why?" Rachel begged. "I just want to be able to understand you. I mean, you _always_ have your guard up. I worry about you, Leah, I really do."

I laughed.

It was a horrible sound; dry and bitter. I could hardly believe that such a sound came out of my own mouth….actually, I could. It wasn't too long ago that I was a bitter harpy, who was jealous of her cousin. Much to my pleasure, I found that I was jealous no more.

Rachel pursed her lips and her body unconsciously turned slightly away from me.

I forced my self to stop laughing, leaving an awkward silence.

I shoved some more clothes into my duffle bag. Rachel fiddled with her jacket zipper.

"Do you have to leave now?" she finally asked in a quiet voice.

I shrugged.

"I mean, it would be great if you waited until tonight -that way you could say goodbye to everyone properly and get the paperwork filled out, saying that you are quitting school….," she trailed off.

Her words softened my resolve to leave quickly. I felt bad for putting Rachel through all of this; she was only trying to be a good friend. Plus, she had made some good points.

"Okay." I said softly. My voice then hardened to a firm tone, "I'll stay for one more night. But tomorrow morning, I really do need to go."

Not only was I risking exposure by staying, but if Alex's teacher decided to continue with his plans to read the essay at the teacher's convention, then I had to stop him.

"You're never going to tell me why you're leaving, are you?" Rachel asked, her eyes on the floor.

"I'm sorry." -That you have a crappy friend like me.

Rachel nodded. She fiddled with her zipper some more and then began to examine her nails, chewing on her lip. All of a sudden, she perked up, a smile tugging at her mouth.

I instantly became cautious; Rachel had an idea and knowing my luck, it probably was going to be something that I didn't like.

"We should throw you a going-away party!" she exclaimed, grabbing my hands and jumping up in excitement.

Oh god no.

"I don't really want to make a big deal out of this…"

"But this is a big deal!" Rachel argued, both of her feet planted on the ground. "The rest of your friends aren't going to be happy if they hear that you left without saying goodbye! -C'mon, give them a chance to say their farewells."

The term "friends" rang in my ears. It was a strange word. Especially since it was associated with me. That was even stranger.

There was Alex, Rachel, and Derek. Those people were my friends…I had others?

I guessed that there were the people whom I sat and ate lunch with, but they were more of Rachel's friends than anything else. There was that one girl that sat next to me in English class, she was nice.

Other than that, I couldn't think of anyone who would actually show up.

"I don't know, Rachel. It won't be much of a party if they're depressed." I said instead.

"Better than you disappearing all of a sudden."

Okay, okay. She made her point. -Not that I was going to let her know that.

"Besides, where would we throw it? And who the heck would show up at a party planned late-minute?"

"We would throw the party here, and plenty of people will show up."

"And exactly how many are you planning to invite?"

Rachel smiled cryptically. "Just a few who's in this whosville."

My gut dropped. This was probably going to end up a disaster.

Oh, what the heck? My life was already a disaster. A goodbye party couldn't possibly make it any worse.

"Make sure to invite the Grinch." I said finally.

Rachel beamed.

I then remembered that I had some business to tend to, so I told her to start inviting people while I was out. I doubt she heard me. Rachel was already walking out of the room with her cell phone in hand, flipping through contacts.

As soon as she was out, I stood there for a minute, trying to figure out what to do first. With a tight chest, I decided to change out of the clothes that Alex had lent me. I pulled out a pair of sweatpants and a t shirt from my duffle bag, and changed into them. I picked up the discarded clothes and folded them with care, fighting the lump in my throat. I smoothed out the material of the borrowed shirt, trying to rid it of all creases.

I gave up after a minute, feeling stupid, and returned to packing. I was able to finish the task much quicker since Rachel was out of the room. I slid the four duffle bag slings over my shoulders, ready to transport them to another location.

Alex's clothes haunted me from a few feet away. I leaned over the fabrics and inhaled his lingering scent. I was tempted to just steal them; but it was a nice pair of boxers, and a shirt that I had seen him wear on more than one occasion.

I exited my room and didn't see Rachel anywhere. With a sigh, I slid on a trashy pair of sneakers and was about to head out when my stomach growled loudly. Hunger was clawing at my insides. I put a hand to my abdomen, willing the pain to go away. I didn't have _time _to eat. The teacher's convention was tomorrow. Alex's teacher could be leaving right now for all I knew.

I took a deep breath and left my dorm. Not very many people where out in the hallways. Most of them were either in class or still in bed, trying to catch up on their beauty sleep.

"_Leah!" _

I shook my head, trying to rid myself of the memory from earlier this morning. Regret was beginning to weigh me down. If I hadn't run out, what would Alex have said?

Would he have lent me his shoulder to cry on?

Would I have let myself??

The thin layer of snow had either melted or turned to slush, my brain barely registered as I stepped outside.

The sad truth was no. I probably wouldn't have let myself cry on his shoulder. I wasn't allowing myself to get close to him. To trust him.

Sam's betrayal had cut me deeper down than I had thought.

Perhaps if I hadn't been so hurt, things would have turned out differently. Maybe I would have had the courage to risk getting hurt by Alex; hence, let myself get closer to him. If that happened, would he and Rachel have broken up? Would he and I be together?

That would have been heaven.

Images of Alex being with me swirled in my mind. Us holding hands, making fun of some dumb movie that we had watched. Us eating tv dinners at his oak table (excusing the mess), and talking about nothing and yet everything. Us leaning closer to each other to share a-

A car horn blared in my ear. I jumped almost a foot in the air, completely taken by surprise.

"Get out of the road, bitch!" an angry driver yelled at me, waiting for me to finish crossing.

I introduced him to my middle finger and crossed the road.

A nearby police cruiser pulled up in front of me and then stopped. The window rolled down.

"Are you alright, Miss? He nearly hit you," the officer said.

"I-I'm fine, just a little surprised."

"You aren't under the influence of anything, are you?"

I shook my head.

"Then you won't mind taking a breathalyzer test, for me?"

"Go ahead." I told him coolly. I set my duffle bags down and watched as the officer got out of the car.

Don't panic. Everything is going to be fine. You're not a suspect.

The officer was coming closer now; he didn't seem to have heard the radio. His face was calm. His swagger was causal.

_A hunter who knew his prey couldn't get away_, my mind whispered.

Stay calm. Don't look suspicious. Smile.

I gave him a weak smile. My heart was pounding.

The officer pulled out his breathalyzer, and I nearly bolted out of paranoia that he was going to grab his handcuffs or his taser.

He held it out in front of me.

Then I suddenly felt very stupid. I didn't know what I was supposed to do; I never had seen or had to take the test before. It was a _breath_alyzer test so I could only assume that I was supposed to blow on it.

I blew on it, hoping that I was right in my inference.

His face didn't show anything unusual. "You're clean," he said.

I nodded.

"_What is Alexander Fieri's apartment number? We are in front of his apartment now. Ten-four," _the radio crackled from inside the cruiser.

I swore my heart stopped. I wanted to scream out "Don't tell him!" but it wouldn't have been any good.

The officer put his breathalyzer back in place and hurried back to his cruiser. He picked up his radio. "His apartment number is 302. Ten-four."

"_Got it. Ten-four."_

The officer set his radio down.

I wished that there was something I could do to keep the police away from Alex… I mean, what if they were there they there to arrest him? What if they're mean to him? Police brutality or something like that? Nah, the police would need a good reason to do that. Alex wouldn't fight them. He wasn't the violent type. What if they think he's hiding something and unleashes their tasers on him? _Get a grip, Leah. That isn't even likely._

Oh god, what if he tells them about his essay? What if he tells them about me being involved?

I was so screwed.

_Stay focused, _the logical part of my brain commanded. _There isn't anything you can do about the police coming to his apartment, so what can you do to turn this into your favor?_

Um….Alex's teacher!

I needed to find him and make sure that he doesn't go to the teacher's convention tomorrow. He probably already told the police what the essay was about. Crap. It probably doesn't even matter. They don't care about old legends.

"Excuse me." I said, before he shut the car door. My voice higher than usual.

"Yes, Miss?" the officer asked, halting his movements.

"D-Do you know where Professor….," I paused, trying to recall Alex's teacher's name. "Harris is?"

"So you've seen the news, huh?" he said wryly.

Yeah, and I wish I hadn't.

"Yes. He's is a family friend of mine, I wanted to lend him my support…I knew how close he was to Stephen…" I trailed off somberly.

"Did you know Mr. Mayor?"

"No. I've only heard about him…would you mind taking me to the station? I would really appreciate it."

"Sure, his wife is already there. She said that they were expecting company. You can take shotgun."

I smiled and got in on the passenger side. The officer closed his car door and turned the police radio down a bit, so that it wouldn't be so loud. We got put on our seatbelts and he began to drive down the road.

We passed Alex's apartment on our way off campus. There were two cruisers in front.

--

* * *

**-Alex-**

There was knocking at my door.

I wanted to pretend that I wasn't home by not answering; I didn't feel much like having company over.

It wasn't everyday you figured out that your friend was a werewolf. Now that I looked back, it was obvious.

When I first met Leah, she said that she _knew the woods well_.

She also mentioned how she had _responsibilities_.-She never went into detail. Her personal life was as good as non-existent, _secret_.

She knew the Quileute legends.

She had really _hot skin_.

Derek mentioned how she was carrying four duffle bags while jogging. She was _strong_.

She _healed quickly_. Her jaw was perfectly fine when I met her -she had lied to Derek about her jaw being broken for a while. She got the wire off too soon for her to have broken it after she met me. Plus, her injuries must have been really bad; Sam sounded freaked when I talked to him on the phone. And yet…no signs of injury.

And finally, the missing piece that completed the puzzle: Leah's reaction to the news. What was it that Officer Kingston had said? Oh right. That the tire looked like a rubber ball that a dog had bitten into -or something like that anyways. The coincidences were too much to ignore.

The knocking became more insistent.

"This is the police," a voice said from the other side of the door.

A jolt of panic went through me and I sprang to my feet. What did I do? I couldn't recall doing anything wrong...

Oh god, Derek didn't spike my drink again did he?

(The bastard claims that I'm fun-er to hang out with when I'm drunk…)

Should I hop in bed and pretend to be asleep? No, they would only get a warrant and break my door down.

Jump out the window (and ignore the fact that I was on the second story)? Um, definitely not. That would not only be incredibly stupid and dangerous but incredibly suspicious.

Answer the door? ….Damn.

I ruffled my hair into a mess and made an attempt to make my clothes disheveled. With a deep -not so calming- breath, I walked over to the door, unlocked it, and opened it.

"Hello?" I greeted them, my voice hoarse and my eyes nearly closed. I let the door frame support my weight.

"Are you Alexander Fieri?" the officer asked formally. His hair was thinning; his face was giving into gravity. His eyes were hard as steel. His belt was threatening, but I guess he could have been 102 and the belt still would have freaked me out.

I don't like guns. Nor do I like tasers or beating sticks or pepper spray.

Then again, who did?

Oh yeah. The _police_.

"Mind if we come in for a bit?" he asked and then proceeded to enter my apartment before I could answer.

Jerk.

His partner followed him in silently. The guy wasn't as broad in the shoulders as the Jerk Cop, and seemed to be much younger.

I closed the door behind them, beginning to have doubts about opening the door. On the Brightside, I hadn't been handcuffed, tasered, beaten, sprayed, or anything else yet.

I flopped on the couch and exaggerated a yawn. -It would look better if I played the part of sleep-deprived college kid. Non-threatening.

The two officers glanced around, taking in their surroundings, before turning to me.

"Could you tell us what you and Mr. Mayor talked about yesterday, Mr. Fieri?"

Ah. So it was about Stephen…shit.

I couldn't tell them that I had directed him to the person that could help his story.

They would eventually come to the same conclusion I had: that Leah Clearwater had killer Stephen Mayor.

An image of her tear streaked face flashed across my mind. She had looked so sad. So guilty. So miserable. It was heartbreaking.

A fierce wave of protectiveness washed over me. They were going to _stay away_ from her!

Despite my raging emotions, my face was indifferent and unsurprised.

"We didn't talk much." I answered honestly.

"Go on."

Sit. Stay. Good Alex! You're such a good boy! Jeez, what am I? A dog? (No offense to my werewolf friend)

"If you're trying to pin the accident on me, then you're going to have to try someone else." I said bitterly. "I was hanging out with my girlfriend, Rachel Sawyer, yesterday. Professor Harris had given him my cell phone number; I never even met the guy."

The Officer Quiet exchanged a glance with Officer Jerk.

"What did you two talk about?" Officer jerk repeated.

Crap. Double crap. What should I say?

Well, they probably already knew what the essay was about.

"We talked about my essay. He wanted to use some of the material to base his story off of."

"And what did you say?"

"I told him that he could use my essay as reference." I lied, trying very hard to remain calm. "Instead of telling him that I would drop off the essay at his house, I told him that the essay was on Professor Harris's desk and that he was free to take it with him."

"Why did you tell him that?"

"I was with my _girlfriend_."

Officer Jerk raised an eyebrow.

"What?" I asked, pretending to be insulted at the look.

Officer Jerk seemed to change his mind about commenting and shook his head. "Do you know where your girlfriend is at the moment?" he asked.

"Why?" I asked, curious.

"We'd like to talk to her."

I looked down at the floor, guilty. She hadn't talked to me at all since this morning. And rightfully so -I had been a jerk. "No, I don't know where she is. She's kinda mad at me right now…"

"Hn. Well, if you can think of anything that involves Mr. Mayor, contact the local police department."

I nodded.

They went off on their way, leaving me behind with a sense of cold dread.

I reached into my pocket and fumbled with my cell phone die to haste. I finally managed to open it and hit dial after finding her under my contacts.

The familiar ringing greeted me and I drummed my fingers on my thigh, my stomach coiling in anxiety.

"C'mon Rach, pick up the phone." I pleaded into the receiver. I reached voicemail with a sunken heart. "Rachel, there's an emergency. Call me back as soon as you hear this. Love you."

I closed the phone shut and tossed it onto the couch. I paced around, counting down the seconds. Finally, after sixty, I dashed over to the phone and called her again. Voicemail again. I disconnected from the call only to dial it again. Come on, come on! Pick up! Voicemail.

I snapped the phone shut and resisted the temptation to throw it against the wall. Paranoia was creeping up on me.

Yes, I hung out with Rachel.

Yes, Stephen Mayor had called while I was with her.

No, I did not tell him the things that I had told the police. I actually told him that the Quileute tribe might not appreciate him doing a story based on their legends, and that he should ask a resident of La Push how to reach them. Luckily for him, I knew one. And her name was Leah Clearwater.

When the police talk to Rachel, there was no doubt that they were going to ask her about my phone conversation. Not only would they find out that I had lied, but they would find out about Leah's involvement with him…

I opened the phone and called Rachel again. And again. And again. And again.

She finally picked up the eleventh or the tenth time. I had lost track. "Stop calling!" she snapped.

"Rachel, I-."

"-I don't want to hear it, Alex."

"It an _emergency_!" I said exasperatedly, practically yelling. I even flailed my arms for emphasis, despite the fact that she couldn't see me.

"Oh god, Alex, what happened? Are you okay?"

"No, I'm not. But I will be if you do something for me and not ask too many questions."

"Alex..." she trailed off, uncertain. I could tell that I was freaking her out. It wasn't often that people told you "don't ask questions".

"The police talked to me today. I had to lie to them."

"You lied to the police?!" she exclaimed.

"Don't get me wrong, it's not like I _wanted _to lie to them, but I had to. You know how I was on the phone yesterday?"

"Yeah."

"And how I told the guy to talk to Leah?"

"Yeah, but Alex-."

"-The police are going to find you and ask you some questions. You can't tell them about that."

"What is _going on_? Why did you have to lie?"

"That's not important. Just tell the police that I told Stephen Mayor to pick up my essay from Professor Harris's desk, okay?"

"But-."

"_Okay?_"

"Fine. Yes. I'll tell them that. But what does your essay and that Meijer-."

"Mayor." I corrected her.

"-dude have to do with Leah?" she asked, sounding panicked.

I sighed. "Calm down. Everything's okay."

"How can things be okay when you're lying to the police?" she challenged.

"Look, I'm not completely sure what is going on, but you're just going to have to trust me, alright?"

"Okay," she said quietly.

"Love you." I said softly.

"Love you too."

"Talk to you later?"

"Yeah. Bye."

"Bye."

I disconnected.

She was still mad at me -her quick goodbye said it all.

Not good.

--

* * *

**-Leah- **

There he was.

White hair. Round gut. Wrinkles at the corner of his eyes; proof of squinting at small text.

Professor Harris.

Alex's teacher.

He was sitting between Mrs. Mayor and a woman I didn't recognize.

Mrs. Mayor looked god-awful. Even worse than when she was on television. Her belly seemed a bit bigger.

The woman I didn't recognize had dark skin and gray hair, she had a comforting hand on Harris's knee. His wife, I assumed.

The officer that had brought me gave me a nod and then disappeared as he went into the depths of the police station. It was a little noisy and a bit crowded. I noticed some reporters were talking to officers. Overall, the police looked tired and a little irritated at the media's attention.

I took a deep breath and walked over to the trio sitting on chairs up against the cream colored wall.

"Excuse me."

The three looked up.

"I need to speak with you privately, Professor Harris." I said politely.

His solemn face turned to surprise.

"Why?"

"Because it's very important." I said with the firmest tone I could muster, manners gone.

He stood up and I heard his knees and back give a popping sound.

I winced. Great, now I was bullying poor old men. Could my list of wrong-doing get any longer?

"Grab your jacket, it's cold out." I said.

His wife handed him his jacket. He shrugged it on.

"You don't have one," his wife pointed out.

I gave her a dry smile, and then turned to Harris. "This shouldn't take long."

He nodded and followed me outside.

"Who are you?" the professor asked.

"Did Alex mention anyone when he turned in his essay?" I asked, trying to keep my voice from shaking.

He looked at me warily, but nodded. "He said that a friend of his told him about the legends."

I took a deep breath before saying, "That friend was me. I'm from the Quileute tribe."

His eyes bugged out of his head.

"The legends were supposed to be a secret," I continued, "but I told Alex because I had assumed that no one would make a big deal out of it."

"Why are you telling me this?" he asked.

"Professor Harris, I'm warning you not to talk about the Quileute legends at the teacher's convention tomorrow."

He was quiet, absorbing the ridiculousness all of this.

"You killed Stephen, didn't you?" he asked softly, his eyes burning into mine.

I looked down at the ground. "I had to."

Harris said nothing.

I looked back up and saw that he was angry.

"Please listen to me." I begged, scared that he was going to run inside. "I didn't _want _to kill him. If he published that book, the Volturi would have killed him and his entire family. They would have killed my tribe. And then they would have used their connections to ban the book anyway."

"The Volturi?" he asked, his eyes more curious than angry.

"The Cold One's government." I answered.

Harris looked like he was going to be sick. "So the legends are real?"

"…Yes."

I let him soak that in for a minute.

"Just make sure that you and your wife don't say anything." I warned. "You especially can't say anything about it at the teacher's convention."

"How do I know that you're not making this up?" he asked, his tone almost challenging.

I was wondering when the denial would kick in.

I ran a frustrated hand though my hair. "Look, you're just going to have to trust me on this. Okay?"

I was too tired for this. Too hungry. Too stressed.

"I-I can't believe this. Any of this. You're lying. Crazy."

Snap! -There went my patience.

"Crazy, am I?" I growled low in my throat. I took a step toward him, my frame shaking.

He stepped back with wide eyes.

"Crazy is what the police are going to call it when they see a giant wolf in front of the station." I snapped.

His heart was beating quickly, and his breathing was sharp and raspy. He was afraid of me.

My anger quickly drained, being replaced with guilt. The shaking stopped. "I'm sorry," I whispered, gently taking his frail hand. "I know it's hard to believe, but you need to believe me. Please, _please _believe me."

"You…you're hand is _hot_," he said, looking down at my hand holding his.

I rolled my eyes, feeling a mix of amusement and irritation. Thanks for noticing, Sherlock. "Yeah, I know. My temperature stays at a toasty one-o-eight. Is that enough proof for you?"

He nodded.

"Good. And you and your wife are going to keep your mouths shut about the essay and its contents?"

He nodded again.

"Great, now let's get inside. You're freezing."

He let me lead him inside.

I let go of his hand.

Harris sat down and whispered something to his wife.

She gasped and then turned her gaze to me.

I simply raised a finger to my smiling lips, high off of relief.

Things were going to be okay. The secret was safe. The Volturi wasn't going to bust open any doors -the tribe was safe.

My bubble of happiness burst when I remembered that there were police in Alex's apartment.

I strode towards the secretary's desk.

"Excuse me."

She looked up from the computer screen.

"Is there a phone around here that I can use?"

"Over there," she pointed to a pay phone and then went back to typing.

I cringed. I didn't have any money on me.

"Uh, are there any _free_ phones?

She gave me an irritated look and then handed the phone that sat next to her to me.

"What number?" she asked.

I told her Alex's cell.

She typed in into the base and then went back to typing, ignoring me.

I played with the curly cord as I listened to the phone ring.

"Hey!" he greeted, sounding as relieved as I felt.

"Are the police still there?" I asked, getting straight to the point.

"How did-? Never mind. No, they left."

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, but _I'm _the one who should be asking you that."

"Why?"

"Does Stephen Mayor ring a bell?"

My heart dropped to the floor. I think I even let out a gasp -I'm not quite sure, my mind was reeling. "W-what do you mean?" I squeaked.

"I know what you did, Leah. What I don't understand is _why_? I thought that the Quileutes were The Protectors of humankind."

His words stabbed me and I couldn't breath. It took me a minute to find my voice.

"I'll explain when I see you at the party."

"What party?"

"My going-away party, didn't Rachel tell you? I'm leaving early tomorrow."

"What? Where are you going? For how long?"

I swallowed the lump in my throat. "Home probably, and I'm going to stay there."

"Leah-."

"I gotta go. I'll see you later. Bye." I said in a rush. I leaned over the counter and hung the phone down on its base.

I wouldn't be able to leave if he told me not to.

The worst part was that I wanted him to tell me not to go.

I choked on a dry sob and the secretary wordlessly handed me a tissue. I took it and stuffed it into my pocket for future usage. I went over to the water fountain and slurped on it for a long while, remembering the cold coke that Alex had offered to me once upon a time.

--

As I stood in the mirror, wearing the outfit that Rachel had picked out for me, I felt stupid.

And sexy. Kind of.

The outfit consisted of a shirt that clung to my body; it was scarlet red and it hung low. The sleeves were short and had slits in them, revealing my shoulders. There was an ornamental metal ring that laid flat on my chest, holding up the front of my shirt and hung down from two thin straps of fabric.

Then there was the black denim mini skirt that showed off my legs. They ended at my knuckles when my arms were down at my sides.

Next were the ridiculous black high heels. As if I wasn't tall enough already. The pathetic material called shoes added an extra three inches to my height and only had a few straps keeping them on my feet.

Candy red nail polish followed; fingers and toes. Not to be stereotypical, but candy red nail polish combined with the outfit I was wearing, had "slut" written all over it. Rachel and I argued for nearly a half an hour. I finally relented only because it was stupid to argue over something so trivial.

I was also dolled up in a thin layer of eye shadow and pink lip gloss.

My short black hair was sleek in the front (parted at the side) and gelled in spikes in the back.

I smelled like strawberry deodorant.

"So, what do you think?" Rachel asked, watching my expression as I evaluated myself.

"I think that the males invited are going to be staring at my chest and legs rather than my face." I said, disgusted.

I didn't want _that _kind of attention. Unless of course, it was from a certain someone…

Rachel playfully nudged me with her hip. "You think they weren't before?"

I couldn't help it; I laughed.

She was right. They had stared even before I was dolled up.

"Ready to face your fans?" she asked. Everyone was on the other side of my door, dancing to upbeat music.

I could smell their sweat and hormones from where I stood. I could hear their gasping breaths and pounding hearts.

"I'm ready to forget my life for a while."

Rachel got the strangest expression on her face, and then it disappeared; morphing into a wry smile. "Have fun," she said, opening the door.

I took a breath and stepped out of my room and into the party.

The lights had been turned off, leaving only a few scattered candles to provide sight. The bass pounded off the walls and bodies, coaxing out the rhythm in even the shyest of dancers. The room was full of people. I doubted that I even knew half of them. I received some nods of acknowledgement and hellos as I walked through the hoard of people. I was thankful that no one came up to me and tried to strike up a conversation. I just wanted to dance mindlessly and get sucked into the beat -I could sense that Alex had yet to arrive.

I swayed my hips in time to the music and moved around accordingly. I sashayed past guests, dancing about, not caring how I looked or what I was doing.

Some people stopped dancing to stare at me, but I ignored them. Soon enough, my acquaintances and friends simply became part of the scenery; just blurs of color and makers of sound. The music was too loud to really understand what they were saying anyway. And to add to the ignorance, I wasn't paying them any attention.

Until someone grabbed my arm.

I was about to give the offender a nasty glare and a punch to the gut, but I recognized the face and decided that unleashing my wrath was unnecessary.

It was Derek.

And I knew that I owed the guy a serious apology. His bruise wasn't any better than it had been yesterday.

"You've been dancing ever since you left your room, how about something to drink?"

I nodded, grateful. My mouth was dry and in need of hydrating.

He took my hand and led me to the beverages. I pulled my hand out of his, feeling awkward.

He reacted by pouring me a glass of Coca-Cola and handed it to me.

I downed it and poured myself four more glasses.

"Wow. You were thirsty."

I almost told him that that was nothing; he should see me down two 3 Liter bottles in a race against Seth. Instead, I smiled sheepishly and nodded.

"Hey, let's take a picture together." Derek suggested, pulling a camera out of his pocket.

"Alright. But let's take a group picture with Alex and Rachel later." Would Alex even want to take a picture with me?

He nodded and turned it on. Then he positioned his arm around my shoulders, pulling me close to him. "Smile," he said, his finger threatening to press the picture button.

My lips drew back in a small smile.

There was a flash and I tried to blink the colorful dancing dots away from my vision.

Derek's arm slid off of my shoulders and he pressed the review button to see how the picture turned out. It looked good. I stepped away from him and poured myself another drink, still thirsty.

"Uh, Leah?" he asked, his tone sounding strange.

"Mm?" I asked, still sipping on the Coke.

"Can we talk in private?"

I looked around and saw that people were close enough to overhear our conversation. I relented with a nod.

We went to my old room and shut the door.

"What is it?" I asked.

He showed me the picture of the two of us. "Your eyes reflect a greenish blue, not red."

Sure enough, he was right.

"So what are you, since you're obviously not human?" he asked. It was the first time I had ever heard him sound so dead-serious.

--

* * *

**A/N: **The nearly 6,000 words of story content in this chapter are for you Bible Chick! I know how much you wanted longer chapters.

The actual chapter is dedicated to loveiscomplicated -thank you so much for pestering me to update! Happy belated birthday!

**Please read my newest fic: **.net/s/4688613/1/Just_say_Okay** -It's a SETH imprint fic!!! Oh, and in case you haven't read it already, here's the URL to my Brady fic: **.net/s/4463561/1/Hunting_the_Innocent**. And if you haven't already read my Paul or Collin fic, please go to my profile and read those too. (I'm too lazy to put anymore URLs.)  
**

****So sorry about the wait!! I knew what I wanted to do, but actually writing it down made things a bit difficult…Anyhoo, I hope that you liked this chapter. Please ****review**** -I love hearing what people think about this fic!!! Oh, and ****pester me to update****. Please! And a big thank you so those who already have done so!!**


	18. Anytime

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from the Twilight saga, Stephenie Meyer does.**

"_So what are you, since you're obviously not human?" he asked. It was the first time I had ever heard him sound so dead-serious._

**-Leah-**

I stared at him, numb. -My brain had shut off my emotions, in an attempt to preserve my sanity. My drink slipped from my hand and fell to the floor. I barely noticed.

This couldn't be real.

This couldn't be happening.

Surely I was dreaming. Yes, that would make sense. I probably just passed out from not eating. Very likely.

I mean, come on! I was wearing high heels and Derek was telling me that I wasn't human. This was _obviously_ cooked up by my fears and sadistic sense of humor.

I laughed.

His face showed confusion and then it turned to irritation. "_Why_ are you laughing?"

"This…is so…ridiculous." I said between guffaws.

"How in the hell is this ridiculous?" he asked angrily.

I laughed some more. My shoulders shook, and my ribs jerked as my lungs silently gasped for air.

"Leah!" he said loudly, trying to get my attention.

I straightened up and smiled at him. "Yes?"

He stared at me for a moment and then finally said, "Never mind. Would you please answer my question?"

"Which one?" I asked, resisting the urge to laugh again.

"The one about you not being human."

All amusement that I had went out the window and combusted. "You're serious?"

"Yes."

"What if I don't want to tell you?" I asked, crossing my arms.

Derek frowned. "Then maybe I don't want to tell you a secret."

"Maybe I don't care." I shrugged, adding to the indifferent look I was going for.

"Maybe it's about Alex."

We stared at each other. He knew he had me hooked. It was just a matter of time before I sunk.

And I was sinking fast.

"If he wanted me to know, he would have told me." I said in a desperate attempt to stay afloat.

"He hasn't even told Rachel."

Drowning!! I needed to think of something fast!

"What kind of friend are you?!" I raged. "If he wanted you to keep it a secret, then you should keep it!"

Derek sighed, looking...sad? "Look, there's a reason I brought it up, okay?"

"And that would be?"

"I'll get to that. But first, you need to answer a question for me: do you heal quickly?"

"Tell me why that would be relevant."

"Yes or no, Leah! It's really important."

How does Alex and healing quickly have anything to do with each other? I bit my lip. "Yes." I answered hesitantly, afraid of what I was about to hear.

Derek beamed.

"Now tell me what's going on." I demanded.

His smile disappeared in record time, my heart dropped simultaneously. "It's complicated, but I'm going to try and keep it as simple as possible: Alex is dying. So far, there isn't any medicine or treatment that can help. But I think that by using your DNA, he could be cured. -And not only him; a lot of people could benefit. You could save thousands of lives!"

My head was spinning. This was just too much to take in. "Give me a moment." I breathed.

Derek nodded in understanding.

I walked over to the bed and sat down. I rested my head in my hands and closed my eyes. I could feel Derek's gaze on me and I chose to ignore it.

Alex was _dying_. The only thing that was keeping me from total despair was the hope that I could help him.

But even that wasn't for certain. Not only that, but I would have to expose the Quileute tribe to hundreds of scientists. I would be considered a scientific breakthrough. Would they consider me an animal or a human being? A useful monster?

I would also be sacrificing everything and everyone who ever meant anything to me in La Push.

But Alex!

My throat tightened but I forced myself to speak, "How long does he have?"

"At least two years."

Those four words stabbed my chest as they echoed in my ears. Excess water was growing in my eyes and I blinked to make it go away.

"Even if I did give myself up to science," I said, barely able to form the words. "Two years wouldn't be enough time to save him."

"So you're not even going to try?" he scoffed accusingly, angrily.

I jumped to my feet. "Shut up." I growled low in my chest. "I never said that."

"So you are going to help?"

It wasn't fair. I couldn't say no when he put it like that.

"I want to, I really do…" I said, looking down at the ground.

"But?" he asked, hearing what I didn't say.

"It doesn't just affect me. It's not my choice to make." I said softly, wishing that it wasn't the case.

"Then whose is it?"

I didn't reply. Sam and the rest of the pack would never agree and would be appalled if I should ask them…oh god. How could I even consider asking them to give up everything? How could I even consider sacrificing them? My own mother? Seth? I wished that they didn't mean anything to me; it would have things so much easier.

Besides, exposure meant the Volturi and they meant death in large numbers. _End of story_.

"Leah, whose is it?" he repeated.

"I-I can't do it, Derek." I choked out, my nails dug into my palms.

"What? What do you mean you can't? What about Alex?"

Instead of falling into an abyss of despair and pain, I turned to another emotion: anger.

I glared up at him. "Don't. Push. Me," I snarled sounding very not-human. "I said I can't, and that means _I can't_."

Derek took a step back.

"Are you trying to suggest that I don't care enough? Is that it?" I angrily accused, taking a threatening step forward.

"Yes, because if you truly did care about him, you would do anything to help him," he said, holding his ground.

It turns out that anger is just a thin ledge, and the right words could easily push you off. I was falling again into pain and despair…I had to grab onto something.

"You're a liar." I told him flatly.

"What?" he asked looking surprised and confused.

"You said that you cared about me, that you were _concerned_. And now look: you're trying to send me off to the scientists!" I exclaimed, tossing my hand into the air for emphasis. "How do I know that you're just making this up, huh? What _proof_ do you have?"

"Why can't you just trust me?" he asked exasperatedly.

"Because I can't trust anybody!" I snapped.

Derek's face softened. "Despite your ability to heal, you're still hurt, aren't you?" he asked gently, taking a small step toward me.

I stepped back. "Don't go there. Don't you _dare_ go there."

"Letting yourself trust people is the only way to get better. Why won't you let your old wounds heal?" he asked tenderly, taking another step forward.

"Stay back." I warned, putting on my best glare.

Derek didn't move any closer. "C'mon, Leah. What more do you have to loose?"

"Get out." I said, pointing to the door.

"You're only inflicting pain upon yourself."

"Out."

"Would you just stop?" he asked, sounding a tad annoyed.

I let my hand drop back down to my side. "Stop what?"

"Pushing me away."

"No. Now get out."

"I'm not going to hurt you," he promised.

"You're hurting me now."

"I am?" he asked, his expression apologetic and sad.

"Yes. Now go away."

"How?"

God, could he get anymore determined?

"Fine, if you won't leave, then I will." I huffed, heading for the door while keeping a good meter between us.

He grabbed my arm and I stopped.

I could have kept going -he wasn't strong enough to keep me there, but I didn't want to show anymore werewolf traits to him than I had to.

"What?" I asked in the coldest tone I could muster.

"I really do care about you. A lot. -But Alex has been my best friend for a really long time, and I don't want to loose him."

I was vulnerable but I wasn't going to let it show. I put on my bitter harpy mask on and tied it tight.

"Suck it up." I said in my bitchiest tone.

His face showed complete surprise; he had not expected that reaction.

"People die, Derek." I continued before he could recover. "Everyday. Every second. Death is the only certainty in life. Alex will die one day, whether it will be in two years or sixty. Yes, it is unfair and painful, but that's reality. Advances in medicine only prolong people's fate; it doesn't stop it. The best thing you can do is cherish the time you do have with him. And when he does die, remember him and live. That is what he would want."

And at that I walked out, leaving him to process what I had told him. The music pulsed against my body and my eyes adjusted quickly to the darker room.

Everything felt fake as my bitter mask slipped.

How could these people smile when Alex was dying?

How could they dance like there was nothing wrong?

I knew that I should practice what I had just preached, but it was impossible. My thoughts ran around in circles, unable to pull away from the earth-shattering news that Alex was dying. It seemed like an injustice for a person as great as him to face such a fate.

And there was nothing I could do! Damn it all!

"Leah," said gravity from behind me.

It was like the sky opened up and heaven was merged with Earth. Everything was right again. Weight that I didn't even know existed, lifted off of my chest and shoulders. I could breathe deep again. I was complete and my emotions were light and happily carefree.

I spun around. "Alex!" I flung my arms around him and held him tight. -Not too tight, of course, I didn't want to send him to his grave early.

"Hey?" he greeted, questioning my behavior but seemingly pleased.

After a long second I let him go. "Hey." I greeted back, brushing my bangs to the side feeling embarrassed. "You, um, wanted to talk?"

"Yeah, but let's snatch a bowl of chips first. I'm starved."

That was the best plan I had heard all day.

I nodded, unable to take off my smile.

We managed to arrive at the food and beverage table without having to push through too many people and helped ourselves to a bowl each. He took Sour Cream & Onion chips while I took Chex trail mix. Remembering my fallen cup of soda, I grabbed a bottle of water, going for the twist-on cap. Alex took a can of cherry coke.

"Shall we?" he gestured to the door that led to the hallway.

"Let's." I said, waiting for him to lead the way.

"Ladies first."

I exaggerated a sigh. "If you insist."

Alex grinned. "I do."

I blinked a few times, trying to regain my thought process, in awe of the sight before me. "Oh, uh, right." I mumbled and then proceeded to head towards the door. I could feel his presence behind me, letting me know that he was following. I wiped my damp palms on my jeans. Christ, it was hot in here.

"Alex?" I heard Rachel's voice chime through the music-clad air.

I stopped and turned in her direction. Alex had stopped too.

She squeezed in between two people before reaching us. "What are you doing here?" she asked him.

That threw me off. What kind of question was that? Was she really not expecting him to be here? Then it hit me: she hadn't invited him. -Which would explain why he didn't know of it earlier.

When did they start fighting??

Alex gave Rachel a polite smile. "I thought I'd bid Leah my farewell, talk to her for a bit, y'know -that kind of stuff."

"Mm," was her clever response.

"We'll see you later, okay Rach?"

She nodded and turned to talk to a guy whose dorm was on the same floor.

I looked to Alex.

He caught my eye and gave me smile.

I gave him a small smile back and opened the door and stepped into the deserted hallway. He closed the door behind us, killing some of the volume of the pulsing music.

It was relief for my ears, I hadn't noticed how much the music was hurting them until now.

Alex slid down the cream colored wall and placed the bowl of chips in his lap. He looked up at me -his eyes lingering on my legs for a half a second before directing themselves to my face- and patted the floor next to him, "Care to take a seat?"

"Sure," I replied. "But first I'm going to take off these heels, they're annoying as hell."

"Are they hurting you?"

I snorted. "If I can handle vampires, I think I can handle a pair of shoes."

Alex gave me a wry smile.

I pressed my hands against me eyes. "Sorry, I didn't mean it to come out like that." I then set down the bowl of trail mix and bent down to unbuckle the thin strap of my shoe. "You aren't too freaked, are you?" I asked, glancing up at him.

"Nah, I'm fine," he said, picking up a few chips and putting them into his mouth.

I listened to him eat as I removed my ridiculous heels. I pushed them aside with my foot and then took a seat next to Alex, making sure that my legs were in a proper position. I was in a miniskirt, after all and the last thing I was going to do was sit Indian-style. Ah-ha. Bad pun.

I forced myself to eat the trail mix lady-like, resisting the urge to just shovel it into my mouth. The silence between us wasn't awkward but comfortable.

A few minutes later, the sound of us chewing was interrupted by the crack of a can opening. I swore I jumped an entire foot in the air.

Alex laughed, "Breathe, Leah. It's just soda."

I scowled at him in response, a smile tugging at the corner of my mouth. I couldn't stay mad at him. Sure enough, a second later and I was laughing with him, my heart still racing.

He sipped at his soda after sobering up, while I opened my water and then did the same.

"Are you ready for the interrogation?" he asked, his voice light with a serious edge.

"Are you going to play the Good Cop or the Bad Cop?"

Alex shrugged. "The Bad Cop, I guess."

I nodded.

Alex took a deep breath and then looked at me straight in the eye, his gaze unreadable. "Why did you kill Stephen Mayor?"

I couldn't tear my eyes away from his hazel ones. I swallowed and then answered, "To protect you and everyone else."

He nodded, urging for me to continue.

"The Quileute Legends were supposed to be a secret so that there wasn't any risk of exposure. Members of the tribe aren't the only ones -the bloodsuckers share the risk too. They have a government called the Volturi whose job it is to keep the existence of vampires a secret from humans. If Stephen Mayor had published his book, it would have been banned and destroyed -along with anyone affiliated with it." I explained.

Alex dropped his gaze, releasing me from his spell, and sipped on his cherry coke thoughtfully.

I nibbled on a pretzel.

"So…," he began after a quiet moment. "Why did you let me write that essay?"

I cringed. "That was a mistake on my part. I thought that it would be graded and handed back like any other paper; I didn't think that it would cause such a mess."

"So, uh, about the teacher's convention?"

"I took care of that already."

Alex stared at me.

For the first time, I felt uncomfortable around him. I shifted uneasily. "What is it?"

"You didn't kill my teacher, did you?"

His cold tone sent a chill down my spine.

"No!" I protested, jumping to my feet. Luckily for my trail mix, the bowl hadn't been on my lap. "I just explained the situation to him, that's all."

"Easy, Leah. It was just a question," he said, a relieved smile on his face. Any trace of his previous coldness was gone.

I sat back down and took a sip of my water.

"Why didn't you just explain to Mayor?"

I sighed, sharp regret twisting into my stomach. "I tried to without giving anything away, but I thought that he was going to ignore my warnings and go along with it anyway. So I-." I couldn't say anymore, my throat was tight and felt raw.

Alex removed his bowl of chips from his lap and moved my bowl so there wasn't anything between us. He scooted over and I let him pull me into a gentle hug. "You used your best judgment and that's all that matters," he said tenderly, smoothing down my hair. His cool temperature was soothing, and his voice vibrated against me.

My muscles relaxed and I rested my cheek on his shoulder, my emotions became a content calm.

"I'll be sure to delete my essay and shred the hard-copy, okay?"

"Okay." I whispered, letting my eyes slid shut.

We stayed like that in silence, his hand still petting my hair, until he interrupted the quiet with a soft, "Thank you, Leah."

I opened my eyes out of surprise. Did he just thank me? The last time anyone thanked me was…god, I couldn't even remember.

"You're welcome, but for what exactly are you thanking me for?"

Alex chuckled, causing his body to push against mine for a second "For protecting me and all that jazz."

I smiled and closed my eyes again. "Anytime." I replied.

--

* * *

**A/N: I wanted to leave off on a good note for once, and I even updated before Christmas, goldeneyez-x. -**_**Happy Holiday(s) to you all!!!**_

**Listen to Winter Song by Sara Bareilles & Ingrid Michaelson -I found it and I love it. It's not one of those cheery Christmas songs just so you know. On a brighter (but stranger) note, listen to When You're Evil by Voltaire. -Really random, I know. **


	19. Break up

**A/N: Oh my gawd. I cannot believe I left this story alone for so long…times flies so fast…Anyhoo, please forgive my lack pf updating and enjoy the story!! Thank you to every one who reviewed, I really do appreciate it.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from the Twilight saga, Stephenie Meyer does.**

**

* * *

**

_(-Leah-)_

_My muscles relaxed and I rested my cheek on his shoulder, my emotions became a content calm. _

"_I'll be sure to delete my essay and shred the hard-copy, okay?"_

"_Okay." I whispered, letting my eyes slid shut. _

_We stayed like that in silence, his hand still petting my hair, until he interrupted the quiet with a soft, "Thank you, Leah."_

_I opened my eyes out of surprise. Did he just thank me? The last time anyone thanked me was…god, I couldn't even remember. _

"_You're welcome, but for what exactly are you thanking me for?"_

_Alex chuckled, causing his body to push against mine for a second "For protecting me and all that jazz."_

_I smiled and closed my eyes again. "Anytime." I replied. _

**-Alex-**

Vampires and werewolves were real. It was official.

What else was real?

…I couldn't think of any other mythical creatures. I had read too many legends and myths for just one to compute through my overloaded mind. My lower back was beginning to ache from supporting the extra weight that was Leah. It didn't help that I was twisting my body to receive the embrace.

Other than the mild lack of comfort, hugging Leah was nice. She was very warm and it soothed the cold from my body, keeping in mind that the cruddy heating system in my apartment hadn't been kind to me. A small part of my mind whispered guilt, and I felt bad that I was being so close to Leah when I had a relationship with Rachel. Then I remembered that I probably won't be enjoying Leah's hug for a long while after this anyway. She was leaving tomorrow -I had nearly forgotten with all of the drama of mythical creatures.

"Hey," I began quietly to get her attention. "Are you still going home tomorrow?"

She didn't respond.

"Leah?" I questioned when she didn't answer after a long period of ten seconds.

When she did speak, her voice was shaky. "Y-you aren't going to die on me, are you?"

My hand stopped petting her hair. "Huh? Die on you? What makes you think I'm going to be dying any time soon?"

"Derek told me…," she trailed off.

I waited for her to continue, and when she didn't, I realized that there was no more to the story. It was as if she expected me to know what she was talking about. "Derek told you what?" I finally asked.

Leah pulled away to look at me in the eye. "That you only have two years left -tops- and that my DNA could help save you."

I blinked, and then I waited for the corner of her mouth to tip upwards and for her eyes to glint mischievously. I waited for the dorm door open and for Derek to jump out saying, "Psych!"  
But none of those things happened. Leah just stared right back, her eyes watery. And because I didn't want to mock her for taking Derek seriously, I changed the subject.

"He knows you're a werewolf?" I asked, assuming that the DNA part was what was being referred to.

Leah nodded.

I didn't know what to say after that, even though I suspected that she was waiting for more. I removed my arms from her person and picked up my can of soda and sipped at it, feeling uncomfortable with the way Leah was acting. "So…," I trailed off, wracking my brain for something to say. "How long has Derek known?"

"Maybe twenty minutes ago," she answered quietly.

"Mm." I hummed, taking another sip of soda. Leah began to nibble on a pretzel. We sat there for a minute, awkwardly not talking. I wished that I could rewind time and stop myself from saying anything. If it wasn't for me, we would still be hugging and there wouldn't be any uncomfortable silences.

"I'm sorry." Leah said finally in a sad voice.

That threw me. What did she have to apologize for? "Huh?"

"For bringing your…condition up. I shouldn't have said anything. I'm sorry."

"What condition?"

Leah looked at me with hard eyes. "You don't have to act like you don't know anything, Alex."

"I'm not acting Leah." I said exasperatedly. "I don't know what Derek told you, but I'm not dying any time soon."

"Really?" Leah asked, sounding as if she didn't quite believe me. There was, however, a glint of hope in her eyes.

"Really."

"And you aren't saying that to make me feel better?"

"If I was dying sometime soon, do you really think I would be spending my time writing essays and attending class?"

Leah observed me carefully for a good minute, trying to find any traces of lying. Then, all of a sudden, she grinned a toothy smile. And, my god, it was as if she had won a billion dollars. The hallway seemed to light up in her glow of happiness. And then she pulled me into bone crushing hug, knocking the air out of my lungs. Right then and there, any doubts that she wasn't a werewolf flew out of my head. Not even the guy on the football team could hug like this.

"Leah, I-."

"You're okay!" she cried, pulling me closer. And then she sniffed and I knew that she was literally crying.

"Air." I wheezed.

She let go, and sure enough, there were tears strolling down her face. The smile looked like it was never coming off. Detachedly, I wondered if her muscles would freeze her face like that.

I didn't really want to ruin the moment, but I was curious, "Derek told you that I was dying?"

Her smile faltered a little, but it stayed in place. "Yeah. That you only had two years left, if you were lucky."

Why would Derek tell her something like that? Derek liked to tell jokes and all, but he had never been the kind of guy to hurt someone with his words. I knew my friend's morals and felt that this was way too out of character for him.

"He wouldn't just say something like that. There has to be a reason behind it."

Leah held up a finger, silently telling me to wait while she thought. Finally, after a couple of sips and some sour cream & onion chips later, she said, "It might not even be him."

Confused, I asked, "What do you mean?"

"Remember Taha Aki and Utlapa?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, they're stuck in the spirit plane, and sometimes they can take over some else's body."

My stomach dropped and my skin prickled with goosebumps. "You think one of them controlled Derek?"

"Utlapa."

I let that soak in for a moment before asking, "He's not going to…kill your tribe in vengeance, is he?"

Leah shrugged. "I don't know."

"Is there anyway to stop him?"

She frowned. "Only if the body he is in is killed. And even then, he might escape by leaving the body."

"Is there any way to coax him out of Derek?"

"What are you guys talking about?" asked Rachel.

Leah and I turned to see her in the doorway, letting the music flow into the hallway freely. Now that I could see her better than in the dark dorm room, I could see that she was wearing a form-fitting dark blue party dress. She was wearing fashionable high-heeled boots, and I didn't understand why girls put themselves through such pain to wear those things. Her blond hair was free of its previous bobby pins and flowed down in loose curls. I wasn't surprised. Rachel had always made an effort to look good, and she always succeeded.

"You look good." I complimented, in hopes of drawing her attention away from the conversation she may have overheard. One would think that with werewolf senses, Leah would have noticed. 'Guess she wasn't paying attention.

"Thanks." Rachel said a little curtly, brushing it off. Damn, she was still angry with me. I couldn't really blame her though. Earlier I had been a jerk to her- blowing her off and then calling to tell her to lie to the police. She had every right to be upset with me.

"So, um-." Leah began.

"-I'm sorry Leah, could you excuse us for a minute please? I really need to talk to Alex."

"Oh, that's okay. I needed to talk to Derek anyway. He's still in there, right?"

Rachel nodded.

Leah gave me a backwards glance and then entered the pulsing music, closing the door behind her.

"What's up?" I asked, patting the floor next to me. I picked up my nearly empty can of soda and took a small sip. Having something to hold onto helped sooth my nerves.

She ignored my gesture to take a seat and simply crossed her arms. "We're done."

I started choking on my cherry coke. "What?" I managed to gasp through a fit of coughs. Strangely enough, I couldn't find it in me to be sad. In its absence was a calm acceptance. However, I was still confused on why she wanted to break up. I thought she had loved me with all her heart…I had thought that I loved _her _with all of my heart. But apparently that wasn't the case, because I wasn't distraught at the news. Just a little tired.

"I'm sick of all the secrets, Alex!" she said. "You disappear suddenly, you get in trouble with the police, you don't even bother calling me to let me know that my friend is spending the night at your apartment -I've had enough! And when I touch the topic of marriage, you change the subject or you make an excuse to leave. It's obvious that you don't want a relationship with me."

"Rachel, I-."

"-Don't. You're a great guy, Alex, you really are. And I know that you didn't want to hurt me, but you should have broken up with me months ago when you found out that you weren't in love with me. I mean, what did you hope to accomplish by dragging it out?"

I swallowed the bile rising in my constricted throat. "I was hoping to fall back in love with you."

Rachel's eyes softened and her shoulders lost their tension. She gave me a small sad smile, "You're so dumb, sometimes. You know that, right?"

That got me smiling. "I thought all guys were dumb in general."

"Oh give me a break," she laughed. "That was for an essay."

"You had a poster board for crying out loud."

"Hey, I got an A on that project and that's all that mattered."

"Your feminist teacher gave you extra credit."

Rachel just laughed.

"And then she asked to keep it because she liked it so much!"

Rachel laughed again and then smiled. "It's too difficult to stay mad at you…Friends?"

"Of course. You aren't going to get rid of me that easily." I said, feeling an invisible weight lift off my chest.

There was a knock on the door and then Leah walked out into the hallway and shut the door behind her quickly. "Sorry to interrupt. But could I snatch Alex for a moment?"

Rachel nodded, "Sure." She was about to leave, when Leah stopped her.

"Oh, wait, hang on a sec!"

Rachel turned back around, eyes curious.

"Do you know what's going on with Derek? He said some really bizarre things earlier."

Rachel cocked her head to the side. "What kinds of things?"

"Ah, just really weird stuff."

"He's probably drunk. I mean, he doesn't really get uncoordinated or anything like that, but he does say some strange stuff."

"Oh, okay. Thanks, Rach."

"Yep, no problem." And then Rachel was gone.

I finished the last of my cherry coke. "The verdict?"

"Derek wasn't controlled."

I gestured for her to continue.

"Utlapa would have taunted me, or would have been more vicious. And frankly, I really do think that Derek has been drinking."

I let out a sigh of relief.

"So…what did Rachel say?"

I shifted uncomfortably, nervous at what Leah's reaction might be. "She broke up with me."

Leah looked horrified.

"-You had nothing to do with it." I said quickly.

Leah relaxed a little at that, but still looked guilty. Her eyes were averted to the floor. "I'm going to go talk to her."

"And do what?" I hated to admit it, but I was afraid that Leah was going to try and get us back together.

Leah took a deep breath and then shakily let it out. "I'm going to be a friend."

And before I could ask her what _that _meant, she had grabbed her heels, water, and Chex, disappearing through the door.

I sighed and tried to push away the nagging guilt, Rachel's words ringing in my ears. I should have been a better boyfriend, or at the very least a friend. I crushed the aluminum cherry coke can and wished whole-heartedly that Rachel would move on and become happy soon.

--

**-Leah-**

--

I sashayed through the throng of people and reached Rachel's room. I didn't bother knocking, knowing that it wouldn't be heard over the music. I simply entered at shut the door behind me.

Rachel was on her bed crying, with her heels on the other end of the room. She didn't bother looking up to see who had just walked in.

The music only a room away felt eerie. Out of place. -Techno was no place for a situation of unrequited love.

I set down the stuff that I was carrying and sat down beside her. I felt awkward, not quite sure how to comfort her. "Hey." I said quietly, letting her know that it was me.

Rachel pulled away from her pillow and hugged me instead, sobbing against my shoulder.

"I-I broke up with him!" she wailed. "And h-he just accepted it; he didn't even try-y to keep us together!"

I hugged her back and began to pet her hair like Alex had done to me earlier. Remembering that embrace, I felt guilty. Like a back-stabber. But worse, I felt happy. I was glad that Alex was single. It meant that I had a chance. God, I was awful. So awful.

"I tried _so_ hard not to care that he was keeping secrets," she said between choking coughs. "And I tried so hard not to be jealous, or impatient, or…or any of that stuff! But it all just _built_ up and the police-thing made me snap and suddenly I couldn't take it anymore!"

Rachel continued to sob, and managed to tell me a few stories in between the sniffling and coughing.

"I just…I just wish that he loved me too!" she eventually said with her bottom lip quivering and her eyes squeezed shut to stop the flow of tears.

That was when I felt an old ache in my chest and I couldn't help myself. I told her about Sam and Emily. By the time I finished my tale, the music had died. People had left and gone home. It was late and my eyes hurt and my mini-skirt needed to be replaced with comfortable pj's. But none of those things mattered.

Because Rachel wasn't crying anymore. Her eyes were lit with determination and strength. If I could get over Sam, she reasoned, she could get over Alex.

--

* * *

**A/N: Okay, **_**now **_**I can concentrate on my Paul fic. I'm really, _really _sorry. I know that I had promised to update it soon and then weeks passed…but I am so stuck on that story, and with this fic updated I can put my energy back into getting un-stuck. **

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter, despite its late arrival!! Thank you to all who reviewed the last chapter, I really do appreciate it. I re-read the reviews when I feel low on inspiration. Seriously, I do.  
**


	20. Still my Friend

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from the Twilight sage, Stephenie Meyer does.**

_(-Leah-)_

"_I tried so hard not to care that he was keeping secrets," she said between choking coughs. "And I tried so hard not to be jealous, or impatient, or…or any of that stuff! But it all just built up and the police-thing made me snap and suddenly I couldn't take it anymore!"_

_Rachel continued to sob, and managed to tell me a few stories in between the sniffling and coughing. _

"_I just…I just wish that he loved me too!" she eventually said with her bottom lip quivering and her eyes squeezed shut to stop the flow of tears. _

_That was when I felt an old ache in my chest and I couldn't help myself. I told her about Sam and Emily. By the time I finished my tale, the music had died. People had left and gone home. It was late and my eyes hurt and my mini-skirt needed to be replaced with comfortable pj's. But none of those things mattered. _

_Because Rachel wasn't crying anymore. Her eyes were lit with determination and strength. If I could get over Sam, she reasoned, she could get over Alex._

**-Leah-**

"So…" I trailed off, not really sure what to say next. The moment wasn't awkward. If anything, it was refreshing to know that so much had been said that it was questionable if there was anything else left to say. "Do you think you'll be playing the dating game anytime soon, or have you had your fill for awhile?"

Rachel snorted, amused. "I'll lay low for a week or two and then I'll be back on the field."

I watched her face for any signs of…something. I didn't really know what I was looking for. Maybe a flash of pain in her eyes? Maybe sarcasm in her tone? I found it hard to believe that she could get over Alex so easily.

She continued on, her eyes downcast, sensing my need for further explanation. "I'm just so…it's just that I…I don't want to dwell on this. I've spent so much time thinking about what I….about him, that I…I've got to get over him and stop wasting my life away! He can't be the center of my universe anymore…

"I won't let him," she finished quietly, contrasting with the strength of her previous statements.

"Heh, you're a lot smarter that I was." I mused.

Rachel looked up, questioningly.

"It took me a long time to get some backbone and decide to stop dwelling on Sam." I confessed.

She took my hand and squeezed it empathetically. "Yeah, so it took you a while, but look at you now! You're a lot stronger than you were when you first walked through our dorm door."

"Really?" I asked, not quite so sure about that. Maybe 'stronger' had miraculously become a synonym for 'stressed'.

"Yeah!" she enthused. "You seem more confident and, although you've been looking awfully tired these past few days, easier to approach.

"-No offense!" she hastily added before I could even react. "It's just that you used to shy away from physical contact and now you're letting me hold your hand."

I blinked at her, letting the meaning of her words sink in. I had changed, without knowing it. -Rachel was right; I had gotten stronger. And for the first time since Sam had left me, I realized that I felt comfortable in my own skin. I didn't feel worthless or bitter. I didn't feel like I was an inconvenience to anyone…I was Leah Clearwater, and I was _proud_ of it!

My vision blurred as tears filled up my eyes, and then it cleared when the water fell onto my cheeks. A warm bubble rose in my chest and I found myself smiling, the beginnings of a chuckle crawling up my throat. I watched as Rachel's brow furrowed in worry only to smooth out and the corner of her lips tugged into a smile.

"You are okay, right?" she asked, simply double-checking to make sure that she hadn't misinterpreted.

"No, I'm better than okay." I said, my voice climbing in enthusiasm. "I'm great! God, I'm just so happy to be for once!" I laughed a little, unable to contain my positive emotions. Instead of Rachel laughing with me, like I had expected, her smile faltered and her eyes grew sad. I sobered up quickly, a chill skittering up my neck. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Rachel said in a too-bright tone, shaking her head.

I frowned. "Come on, tell me. You can tell me anything." I'm good at keeping secrets…

"Nah, I don't want to ruin the moment."

"Rachel…" I trailed off. '_The moment is already ruined'_ went unsaid.

She hesitated, taking one of her hands away from mine and twirling her blond locks between her fingers. The other hand tensed, unconsciously squeezing my hand with a little more force. "Promise me you won't get too angry?"

"Promise." I said, unthinkingly. I mean, how bad could it be?

"Okay...you know how you were asking about Derek earlier?" she asked, her eyes taking an interest on the comforter's patterns.

"Yeah?"

"Well…"

"Go on." I encouraged.

"I lied," she said in a rush. "Derek wasn't drunk, in fact, he hasn't had any alcohol for a while now."

"Then why would he-?"

Rachel looked up. "-Because I asked him to!"

I stared at her, uncomprehending. The silence was awkward and then it became intense as I realized exactly what this meant. "Are you trying to tell me that you told Derek to tell me that Alex was _dying_?" I asked, my voice sharp and edged with serrated hysteria. My muscles were tingling, ready to phase, causing my frame to shake a little. Heat was racing the length of my spine.

"I'm so sorry!" Rachel pleaded, genuinely looking upset by her actions (or perhaps my response?). "It was wrong, and I really do feel bad about it! I only did that because I was jealous and angry, and also because I wanted to test you to make sure that your feelings towards Alex wasn't just a meaningless crush! I'm so sorry, Leah. I'm so, _so _sorry!"

Wordlessly, I carefully pulled my hands away from hers and got up off the bed. I headed for the door, deciding that it would be better for me to leave now than to let my temper get the best of me.

"Leah, please!" she called after me.

My sensitive nose alerted me that her tears ducts were on active duty for the second time today. With a sigh, I stopped.

"We're still friends…right?" she asked.

"Yes, Rachel, we're still friends." I said, my voice indicating that she was being silly and overreacting. "-but don't think that you're off the hook," my tone turning hard, "because I'm not going to brush this off as some immature joke. I really thought that Alex was going to die! -He's not just some guy to me, Rach! He's my universe, I owe him everything! So when I heard that he was dying, everything crumbled-!" I stopped, realizing that I was revealing too much info. I quickly pulled myself together. "Anyways, the point is that the stunt that you and Derek pulled hurt, okay? I won't be forgiving you anytime soon…but I will someday."

Rachel didn't say anything. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her nodding her head.

"Good night, Rachel."

"Good night, Leah," she said softly.

I left heels that I had discarded earlier along with the Chex, opting to take my bottled water only as I took my leave. I shut the door behind me and picked my way through the messy dorm to reach my room. I flopped on my bed, letting the water fall to the floor. The glass that I had dropped previously and its spilled contents could use the company.

I snuggled my face into the pillow, drawing upon my energy reserves to find the will to get up and change clothes (as well as wash my face and brush my teeth). My energy reserves weren't enough however, so I crawled under the thin covers and tried to relax and clear my mind so I could sleep. Before succumbing to the lull of sleep, I detachedly thought that there was a bright side to the news that Rachel had presented me with.

Derek wasn't a drunk.

--

* * *

**A/N: Yeah, this chapter is really short, but I decided that it's probably better than not updating. -Since I don't think I'll be able to in the upcoming weeks (curtain time for my school play is drawing nearer and once I get back to school [I'm currently on spring break], I'm not going to have time to write).**

**Oh, and to **Clara**, yes: I did purposely make Stephen Mayor sound like Stephenie Meyer. **

**It would be wonderful if my anonymous reviewers would leave me an email address so I can respond to their reviews! *hint-hint* I love you mysterious people as much as my not-so-mysterious people, so please, allow me to reply with gratitude! :)**

**Holy cow, this is a long author's note. O_o**

**For me, I guess. I've seen some pretty long ones... Does anyone actually read author notes?? Just curious.  
**


	21. The Leaving of Leah

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from the Twilight saga, Stephenie Meyer does.**

_-Leah-_

_I snuggled my face into the pillow, drawing upon my energy reserves to find the will to get up and change clothes (as well as wash my face and brush my teeth). My energy reserves weren't enough however, so I crawled under the thin covers and tried to relax and clear my mind so I could sleep. Before succumbing to the lull of sleep, I detachedly thought that there was a bright side to the news that Rachel had presented me with. _

_Derek wasn't a drunk._

**-Alex-**

I shivered and pulled the blankets tighter around me, allowing myself to curl into a ball. Despite my body's insistence that I sleep, my mind refused to rest. It kept on trying to think about everything that Leah had said tonight and that was a topic that I didn't want to go near. The possibilities were scary as hell.

I switched my thoughts to Rachel before I could think too much about those things, and a claw of guilt scratched at my stomach. I had been a bad boyfriend. I made her lie to the police. I hurt her by avoiding the mention of marriage -and to rub salt into the wound, I overall dragged out our relationship because I was a coward and wasn't man enough to just end it all. The list of reasons could go on and on. I guess that mean that I'm not only a cruddy boyfriend, but a bad person too.

Am I worse than Leah?

Which is more of an injustice? Killing someone to protect others or hurting someone to protect yourself? I hugged my knees to my chest, a chill running through my body.

Exactly how far would Leah go to protect the secrets of her tribe? Would she really kill more people? Her tear stained face flashed through my mind; her horrified expression after witnessing the morning news; the way she hugged me back after I assured her that she had used her best judgment…

What if I told someone about the werewolves of the Quileute Indian Reservation? Would Leah's best judgment decide to kill me?

I covered my mouth with my hands, mortified. My first thought was Leah would never do that. My second thought was oh yes she would.

There was a thud in the kitchen. Panic crushed my lungs and another shiver coursed through my body. I squeezed my eyes shut and tightened the grip that I had on my face; determined not to make a sound. Whether the sound would have come out as a cry or a scream, I wasn't sure.

As much as I would have preferred to feign sleep, I realized I couldn't. Whoever was in my house would only come and find me. Hoping the intruder wasn't Leah, I shakily climbed out of bed. I tugged the sleeves over my hands and crossed my arms, wanting to preserve what little heat I had.

As quietly as I could manage, I left my room and padded my way down the hallway. I ducked into the bathroom and listened for any other sounds. Footsteps. My front door opened and then shut. I rushed out of my bathroom and into my living room and to the door. I opened it and peered out. A figure was leaving the apartment building with something tucked under their arm. As the door shut behind the man, I decided that I didn't really care. The past few days have been so abnormal that being materialistic sounded petty.

Let the thief steal my laptop; it was old anyway.

I went back inside my apartment and turned on the shower, needing something other than layers of clothes to obtain warmth. I stripped quickly and was about to step into the running water when the weight of what I had done halted my movements. I had just allowed someone to steal my laptop.

The dump-worthy computer had the essay on it.

Cursing aloud, I pulled on my clothes -not bothering with socks or a hoody- and ran out of my apartment faster than I had ever thought possible. I followed the shoeprints to the road where they disappeared.

Someone had the Quileute Legends in their possession, and it was all my fault.

I trudged back to the shower again with numb feet, and told myself that there was no reason to panic. The man might have been a friend of Leah's. Maybe even…shoot, what were their names again? I know they told me on the phone…Sam! It could have been Sam, or even her brother, Seth.

I let out a relieved sigh and poured some shampoo into my palm. It was probably one of them. Leah was leaving in the morning -which it was by now- and she would need a ride home. She probably didn't want to wake me up by calling…

I felt sick; the uneasy, hollow feeling that you get when you spin around too many times too fast. My chest ached and my throat felt tight. As I lathered the shampoo to my scalp, I decided that I was one messed up son of a gun. Not even a half an hour ago, I had been contemplating the likelihood of Leah killing me; and now I was wishing that she could stay at Peninsula College.

I had started thinking about what I should say to convince her not to leave, when I stopped myself. Not only was it kinda pathetic, the act of asking her to stay in general was stupid. The longer Leah stays, the chances of her being found out increases. And I don't think either of us wants a repeat of Stephen Mayor.

--

My meal-plan was pretty good and for that, I was thankful. I filled my plate with breakfast foods and headed towards the usual table. I changed direction, however, when I remembered that the mundane table consisted of Rachel. I knew that we had agreed to stay friends, but that didn't necessarily mean that I was forgiven. I sat with some guys that I knew well enough and ate with them.

Five minutes through breakfast, Sean interrupted the conversation. "Alex, would you face your girlfriend already? She's been looking this way since you sat down."

"Hmm?" I hummed with a mouthful of pancakes and turned around. Sure enough, Rachel was looking at me. She gestured to for me to come over there. I held my index finger, signaling for her to hang on a sec.

I swallowed and grabbed my plate. "Thanks." I nodded to Sean.

"Oh wait, before you go, have you seen Derek?" asked Evan.

"Nah." I said. "He had a little too much to drink at the party last night."

"Really? I thought he stopped drinking because his dad won't hire him if he does that kind of stuff."

I shrugged. "Maybe the stress got to him."

Sean and Evan made noises of agreement. I took my plate over to my usual table and sat down next to Rachel.

"What's up?" I asked, ignoring the few glares that were sent by her friends. It was official. I was labeled the ex-boyfriend. Rachel looked at them and smiled half-heartedly. And as if the smile was some kind of code for 'please leave', her friends made excuses and left.

Rachel sighed tiredly, her smile vanishing. She looked up at me. "Leah left. She wasn't in bed this morning or anything so…I guess I was just wondering if she had said anything to you."

"No, she didn't tell me anything."

Rachel stared at the barely-touched food and I could see the tears in her eyes. "So she didn't tell you?" she asked quietly.

"Tell me what?"

"About what Derek had told her."

I had no idea what she was talking about. After a long second, it clicked. Rachel was talking about how Derek had lied to Leah about me dying. How did she know about that? I didn't think Leah would tell Rachel about that…

"It was because of me."

"What?"

"Derek told her that stuff because I had asked him to. I felt bad and told Leah the truth and she got upset with me. So I was kinda hoping that you've talked to her."

Numbly, I looked down at my plate and decided that I wasn't hungry anymore. I stood up and threw my plate away. After a moment of indecision, I chose to walk back to the table instead of leaving the cafeteria.

"So you just asked and Derek agreed?" I asked, hardly able to believe that it was that simple. Hell, just thinking that he actually told Leah that I was dying while sober was bad enough.

Rachel glanced at me and then hesitated. When I sat down next to her, silently telling her that I wasn't going anywhere, she began to poke at her food. "No, he didn't just agree," she said quietly. "I…I got to go. My class starts soon."

Rachel stood up abruptly and left before I could stop her. She hadn't even thrown away her food. I left the abandoned plate there and headed back towards Sean and Evan.

God, I wished Leah was here.

* * *

**Awesome A/N:**** This fic got nominated for the Indies Twific Awards for Most Original Story Line!!!! See my profile for the link to the website.**

**Important A/N:**** To those of you who are reading my Paul fic, I am rewriting it. Not only so it can be better but because the theme of the story has changed. I will update but it won't really be part of the story -just a filler chapter because it is against rules to post an authors note as a chapter. Also, my Collin fic WILL BE CONTINUED. **

**Not as important A/N:**** This fanfiction is going to be long. I have a plot idea and it's a dangerous one; I just hope it isn't too cliché. Thank you so much to all of my readers (that includes you phantom readers who read but never review)!! I am really, **_**really **_**sorry about the lack of updating. I never expected my summer to be so busy…Love you all and thank you a million and one times for sticking with me through this story! ;)**


End file.
